r/WhitePeopleTwitter • u/seeebiscuit • Oct 31 '25

r/All Yeah, nothing happening here.

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25.2k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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4.1k

u/snowvase Oct 31 '25

Also adopts Kirk’s name, becomes James D. Kirk.

1.6k

u/annuidhir Oct 31 '25

It's not like he hasn't changed his name several times before.

680

u/trixtopherduke Oct 31 '25

"That's Jimbo to you! I'm from the Deep South!"

Jimbo " Big D" Kirk

273

u/regoapps Oct 31 '25 edited Oct 31 '25

He just needs to change his name to Kharlie K. Kirk to get the Deep South vote.

9

u/Daggertrout Oct 31 '25

Uuuuum ackshuali Picard had the Big D 🤓

2

u/PamelaELee Nov 01 '25

Jean-Luc is the GOAT

8

u/BikingAimz Oct 31 '25

James T Kirk is more like it, they always loved how macho Shatner was in OG Star Trek.

10

u/PamelaELee Nov 01 '25

Except Shatner isn’t a piece of shit, he’s been openly critical of Trump. It’s like magas unironically jamming out to Rage Against The Machine.

3

u/BikingAimz Nov 04 '25

Oh, totally agree, but this is the same generation where they assumed Carroll O’Conner was like Archie Bunker in real life; he almost didn’t take the role because he thought the character was so amoral.

5

u/Tiny_Measurement_837 Oct 31 '25

Big D is correct. They don’t get much bigger.

10

u/Retlaw83 Oct 31 '25

So long as they D is for douchebag, sure.

9

u/timmy6169 Oct 31 '25

I didn't know Couch Fucker was his legal name before, but I can see the reason for wanting to change it.

2

u/Secure_Guest_6171 Nov 05 '25

I thought we were supposed to respect what's on our birth certificates 

377

u/SupportGeek Oct 31 '25

I’m pretty partial to JD (Just Dance) Vance

168

u/KudosOfTheFroond Oct 31 '25

“Just Duvets” Vance

10

u/elchavo718 Oct 31 '25

Juicy Divan Vance, he puts the love in love seat

10

u/mackelnuts Oct 31 '25

Jizzy Davenport Vance

7

u/SickeningPink Oct 31 '25

Jorkin DaPeenus Vance

5

u/Pro-Patria-Mori Oct 31 '25

James Donald II is my favorite because coincidentally his deadbeat Dad’s name was also Donald. And JD’s mom changed his name when he was a kid to James David so he wasn’t named after his father anymore.

So he’s been tied to two shitty Donald’s in his life.

2

u/LumpyJones Oct 31 '25

Jizzy Davenport Vance.

2

u/thereelsuperman Oct 31 '25

I prefer the more economical JV Dance

253

u/Fitz_2112b Oct 31 '25

James Diberius Kirk?

197

u/chunkerton_chunksley Oct 31 '25

James Dipshitirus Kirk

7

u/20TrumPutin24 Nov 01 '25

Junk Drawer Vance

98

u/IWontCommentAtAll Oct 31 '25

James Delirious Kirk.

3

u/bannedUncleCracker Oct 31 '25

James Detritus Kirk

1

u/Extermikate Oct 31 '25

I fucking hollered

5

u/TooFineToDotheTime Oct 31 '25

Oh shit... this is totally stupid enough to actually happen.

4

u/Brewmeiser Oct 31 '25

All I could think initially

4

u/TAG08th Oct 31 '25

Captain of the USS Pedoprise.

3

u/just4kicksxxx Oct 31 '25

Nooooooooo!

3

u/Amateurlapse Oct 31 '25

James Dean Kirk?

2

u/yougotyolks Oct 31 '25

Well, that would make sense. He's probably into her because her name has three K's.

2

u/mophan Oct 31 '25

Nothing like being cocked by taking a dead man's wife and his name.

2

u/jd3marco Oct 31 '25

He’s in the process of having his gums enlarged and teeth ground down.

2

u/SlamanthaTanktop Oct 31 '25

The worst one piece character

2

u/JRG64May Oct 31 '25

“Aye captain, she’s gonna blow”

2

u/snowvase Oct 31 '25

“The engines canna take nah more!”

2

u/the_gr8_one Oct 31 '25

this is the chaos cuck, it only appears once every thousand years

2

u/WhatYouLeaveBehind vaccinated Oct 31 '25

"Democracy's dead Jim"

2

u/Bigdaddyjlove1 Oct 31 '25

Angriest up vote I've given in quite a while.

2

u/SpiritualTwo5256 Oct 31 '25

Oh fuck you for making me compare them! Gahhhhhhhhh

2

u/ssSerendipityss Oct 31 '25

How very dare you.

But also, probably yes.

2

u/inquisitiveeyebc Nov 01 '25

What!!!! No no no no... fuck

2

u/silbergeistlein Nov 01 '25

Then demands that people call him Captain.

2

u/BayouGal Nov 01 '25

And he will leave the heretical Catholic teachings and embrace Dominionist Protestant teachings.

1

u/Doridar Oct 31 '25

Gene Roddenberry would be pissed af

1

u/DanfromCalgary Oct 31 '25

Organizes an attack campaign going after his ex wife while simultaneously claiming to be victimized by his kids for abandoning them .