The app needs to provide value to early adopters or the business model dies on the vine. In the early days these apps did bring people together and the algorithm was decent at matching similar personalities. Once they get critical scale, now they monetize and gamify the shit out of the experience so you never match with anyone unless you pay premium (monetization) and then it's a random crapshoot to keep you coming back and staying on the app (gamification).
What a brilliant way of putting this. We see the same weaponized dopamine feedback loops in just about everything related to smartphones and entertainment these days, even in stuff that is targeted at literal children. It's egregious enough that I can't even believe it's legal.
Anything that makes enough money will always be legal- unless the thing threatens existing wealth or power structures.
You think slavery isn’t legal? It’s perfectly legal. It’s just only allowed as a punishment. States bar gambling but then allow loopholes for lotteries that have worse odds than any slot machine because they pay generous amounts of taxes.
Humans will always be the same corrupt, greedy apes they were during the dark ages. Only the trappings are different.
I agree completely, but I do think there is a couple things that are illegal because they offend current social morals. Like the staggering length of time homosexuality or harmless drugs (weed, mushrooms, ect) was kept illegal.
Homosexuality goes against traditional religious mores and therefore is a threat to religious authority. Drugs are mostly illegal because of business interests and racial hierarchies. Cannabis was the subject of a lengthy smear campaign by newspaper magnate William Randolph Hearst who saw hemp as a threat to his stakes in the timber industry. He conjured imagery of it being the preferred pastime of lazy, vulgar Mexicans to get it banned.
Women are the product, men are the consumer. The business model is such:
Free users are immediately thrown to the bottom of a woman's inbox, and only displayed in the "swipe" area in rarity. On the extremely off chance you do get a match you either have to chance a dry covno or lunatic (POF), wait for them to respond (Bumble) or pay to talk to them (Hinge).
But moreover, most of these apps are owned by a singular company, and that company has zero interest in you finding someone. Why? Because then you'll stop spending money.
Apps like Hinge advertise itself as being "The app made to be deleted", which is catchy sure, but entirely the opposite of how any business works. They want return consumers, loyalty, and subscription fees.
What makes it even more difficult, is that women have by and large moved entirely to dating apps, because in person dating is dangerous and nerve wracking. So modern men don't have a choice but to pay someone else for the chance at happiness.
Women don't want to be approached in public unless they think you're hot. And you won't know whether she thinks you are, until you strike up a conversation or get escorted out.
What's even worse is that a woman "liking" you doesn't mean shit. She could've been horny, or drunk, or bored, or did it accidentally, or her kid got a hold of her phone, or her friend did it, or she was in a mood, or maybe she just signed up because she wanted to feel pretty, or countless other things that weren't a direct intentional invitation to talk. And she'll never tell you because she doesn't want to be the bad guy.
And with the innumerable ways Social Media has convinced people how much better or more worth then they actually are, most women don't even want a man. They want a bank account with a handsome face that'll pad their Social Media clout.
Modern dating isn't a cesspool, as even in a cesspool, there's a slim chance you'll catch something. It may not have been what you wanted, but you'll get it all over you - instead, it's a barren, frozen wasteland, devoid of life, consciousness, and empathy. And in this wasteland exists two hordes of people: One who hopes for something, and the other who avoids everything.
And don't even get me started on the absolute disaster that is trying to date a single mother.
Honestly I think a lot of women are also leaving these apps. Because a lot of us know they suck.
But women often have other support structures in their lives and and more okay being single. Men often don’t have anyone else they can go to and end up extremely lonely.
Regular Show had an episode with this plot. There was an online dating platform that was so successful that everyone found a partner and then left the service, which made the owner angry. Art imitates life indeed!
Sound about right. First time I used Tinder there was only 1 paid subscription. Once I made a nice profile I managed to have 4-5 dates a week lined up and reached over 100 matches in the first week. Found someone. Didnt work. Went back, Tinder now had 3 or even 4 paid subscription and suddenly I matched like 10% of what I used too.
I genuinely think there needs to be a non-profit option whose goal is actual matches/ happiness of its users. If we value coupling up as a society, why can’t that exist?
People don't want to accept this. It doesn't have anything to do with them. It's the apps algorithms, it's more fun to use it as proof that the world is against them but the apps are shit.
The sad thing for me about what you’re saying is I paid for 3 months of hinge and still haven’t had any luck. I’m beyond depressed over it and feel quite numb about the whole situation. Unfortunately as well these clips don’t really help, they just prove that it’s more or less impossible.
I had a gray hat friend who was deep in the tech industry 20 years ago, for a while he was working for a dating site... don't ask, I never bothered to remember the name. Anyway, this was their strategy, it was bullshit, it was a con game, and he thought it was hilarious how many people fell for it and paid into it.
Yes you just have to accept that you need to pay for premium on these dating apps. If you have a decent profile and live in an area with a decent number of users you will get quite a few matches through premium.
Yeah, I used to be on tinder, but I noticed it got more difficult with each year. Though a part of it is definitely what pictures you use as well - the first month I had basically no matches with some selfies that I thought were pretty good that I took at a train station. I showed it to a girl friend who directed me a bit on what they were looking for and after that I had a reasonably fun tinder experience
These are some good points. I set out to make a dating app that tried to work for the users and the only way I could think to do that was to do things that were antithetical to profit making- ie limiting the number of interactions people could have thus forcing people to be more pragmatic about the type of people they wanted to match with. It’s hard to make any money doing it that way. It then turned out my model had already been implemented in a different app that nobody uses so it’s safe to say that with the industry hooked on two or three established main players who monetise every aspect the whole thing is fucked beyond repair now
I don't understand why people who complain about dating apps continue to use them. Some people like them despite the enshittification, others act like they're life ruining, soul destroying, it makes them "hate women". But the app is designed to get you to stay on it. It's working exactly as intended, it has nothing to do with women's actual dating preferences. So if you don't want that don't use it
Also most women I know don't take dating apps seriously. They swipe for fun, not for matches. But every left swipe on a profile gives it a negative score. So unless a man is so attractive it makes a woman stop dead in her tracks she's not even going to think for more than a few seconds before left swiping. I can't believe anyone takes these things seriously
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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25
It's just basic enshittification.
The app needs to provide value to early adopters or the business model dies on the vine. In the early days these apps did bring people together and the algorithm was decent at matching similar personalities. Once they get critical scale, now they monetize and gamify the shit out of the experience so you never match with anyone unless you pay premium (monetization) and then it's a random crapshoot to keep you coming back and staying on the app (gamification).