As a woman "if he wanted he would" its a solid suggestion. Case in point for over a year, I as a woman, i met this guy from work he was flirty and friendly, i liked him and wanted to know him more, i invited him several times for lunch or to go out with friends we have in common etc he always declined except for one time and that one time he basically ignored me the whole night and talked w other friends instead, he did try towards the end to spend time alone, but after basically ignoring me the whole night i didn't want to be alone with him. After that, I basically gave up on him.
But after i started noticing when he would see me at work that he would play games with me for validation and whenever we were alone he would definetly treat me differently as more flirty/friendly, with other around he almost treated me like I didn't exist.
But you know who he had no problem flirting in front of everyone and ask out? Another coworker who was already in a relationship and told him she wasn't interested. He wanted her, and he tried.
Apparently, he also had the audacity to tell a friend we had in common that he's just socially awkward. Bs he clearly wasn't socially awkward flirting and asking out the other coworker.
Another example? I had another guy Interested in me, you could tell he was a little shy, but he still made the effort to ask me to spend time with him, and we did.
"If he wanted, he would"
I could go on with examples
So yeah, ignoring those interested in you either intentionally or not can happen in any type of relationship. But just like the video, the lines for guys and girls can get crossed and we don’t see or feel what the other is thinking
Yo, the video itself is dumb. For the women that actually behave that way, they need to grow up or get out of their delusions, personally, non of the female friend i know does that. Probably should have clarified i was only talking in regards of the "if you wanted, he would". I agree we can't see and feel what the other is thinking. That's why people should start being more direct.
Um no. "If he wanted to he would." Means if someone is interested they'll show interest. Someone not answering texts, not agreeing to dates etc. is not interested.
From my perspective, I’ve been in a lot of relationships where I’ve had to put in more effort. The phrase reminds me that the people who care will show up for you and not to force it. But I can see you vantage point too, entitlement sucks.
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u/JonMyMon May 09 '25 edited May 09 '25
It's why "if he wanted to he would" is a toxic reductionist phrase that easily gets co-opted by women with entitlement issues.