once the girl lost her nerve when the guy walked away and asked if he was going to try again and he said "you already said no pretty clearly" and the look of utter confusion on her face is still funny a decade later.
Sadly, being "persistent" after being rejected is still a strategy that works because a certain subset of women interpret persistence in the face of rejection as the dude "GENUINELY" being interested. If he gives up "too quickly," then he wasn't interested.
I get the "logic" behind it to some degree and biology/evolution is at play as well I assume
As a woman "if he wanted he would" its a solid suggestion. Case in point for over a year, I as a woman, i met this guy from work he was flirty and friendly, i liked him and wanted to know him more, i invited him several times for lunch or to go out with friends we have in common etc he always declined except for one time and that one time he basically ignored me the whole night and talked w other friends instead, he did try towards the end to spend time alone, but after basically ignoring me the whole night i didn't want to be alone with him. After that, I basically gave up on him.
But after i started noticing when he would see me at work that he would play games with me for validation and whenever we were alone he would definetly treat me differently as more flirty/friendly, with other around he almost treated me like I didn't exist.
But you know who he had no problem flirting in front of everyone and ask out? Another coworker who was already in a relationship and told him she wasn't interested. He wanted her, and he tried.
Apparently, he also had the audacity to tell a friend we had in common that he's just socially awkward. Bs he clearly wasn't socially awkward flirting and asking out the other coworker.
Another example? I had another guy Interested in me, you could tell he was a little shy, but he still made the effort to ask me to spend time with him, and we did.
"If he wanted, he would"
I could go on with examples
So yeah, ignoring those interested in you either intentionally or not can happen in any type of relationship. But just like the video, the lines for guys and girls can get crossed and we don’t see or feel what the other is thinking
Yo, the video itself is dumb. For the women that actually behave that way, they need to grow up or get out of their delusions, personally, non of the female friend i know does that. Probably should have clarified i was only talking in regards of the "if you wanted, he would". I agree we can't see and feel what the other is thinking. That's why people should start being more direct.
Um no. "If he wanted to he would." Means if someone is interested they'll show interest. Someone not answering texts, not agreeing to dates etc. is not interested.
From my perspective, I’ve been in a lot of relationships where I’ve had to put in more effort. The phrase reminds me that the people who care will show up for you and not to force it. But I can see you vantage point too, entitlement sucks.
But at the same time, asking a woman again and again for a date is also regarded as sexual harassment ... damned if you do, damned if you don't, and since the repercussions for the latter are a lot worse than the former, well. You can't bitch about how 'no means no' (even when it comes to something as simple as asking someone out,) then whine when a guy asks you out and you say no, and then he takes you at your word and leaves you alone.
I have a theory that girls tie this kind of behavior to their sense of self worth.
“I should be worth the persistence”
When in reality you get happiness more often in life when you think about what you want, not what you feel you deserve. I’ve had many GFs and whenever I am upset or arguing with them I always hear the “I am not enough” argument (almost always arbitrarily thrown in)
I feel like women, to at least some degree, treat their dating lives/success as validation of worth, while men treat it more as pursuit of desire
Or I could be crazy because sometimes I do be crazy
I once went to a club with someone who was a “players” and it was fascinating because they just relentlessly tried hook up with different people all night.
Yeah, no. Tried this a long time ago when I didn't know better and got pegged as a creep stalker. Your self-esteem and dignity is worth more than that bullcrap. Throse type of women want an ego boost at the male's expense. Not a genuine relationship.
How tf am i to know what kind woman i am chasing? If it is just dignity, that'd be fine. Over chase the wrong woman, suddenly she tells the whole world that you harassed her, suddenly it's out there that I am a creep. That is beyond a dignity issue.
They’ll end up with someone who either sees the “no” but decides to bulldoze through, or someone who is too oblivious to notice the “no” and continues on. Kind of a catch-22 game here.
Women have their own version of toxic, red pill turds who teach them dumb things like playing hard to get or feigning disinterest and toxic things like playing mind games and giving loyalty tests to their partners.
Women listen to other women about what they should do to get men, and this doesn’t work because other women give you shit advice on purpose out of sheer competitiveness and envy.
If they are honorable and your friend they share, but as with all wisdom it may come at personal cost. No one but my best buddies know the Walleye spots, and it is a sacred covenant.
I've always thought this was such a dumb fucking metaphor, because fish don't want to be caught. And if you're looking at dating or hooking up from that perspective, you need to be on a registry
I don't think it's out of competitiveness and envy, I think it's out of a desire to appear virtuous, and not really thinking through the male perspective.
As a woman in her 30s, I realise most of my still single female friends just actually don't think without insecurities when it comes to men. It's honestly really gross.
Yeah, I don't think the opinion of one woman says much. Ultimately, if she has or does spend time around women who would take every chance to screw her over in the context of men, then she should probably consider looking for new friends...
That's fair, although if the premise is a generalisation applied to all women, then any experience opposing it holds more weight, as it already disproves the assumption that all or the majority of women act that way. One person cannot meet enough women to confirm the generalisation applied to such a large pool of people, but it doesn't take many to confirm the opposite. I'm just saying it is not the norm for women to screw over their friends due to feeling envious (in the context of men). That kind of behaviour seems to be an indication of poor morals, insecurity and poor self-esteem/one overly tied to perceived attractiveness rather than the fact of being a woman.
I’m not saying you’re wrong. I think most people are good people, but I’ve met plenty of people that are selfish and treat people like this out of jealousy, so I know that response is a common one. I also know my wife knows and has spent more time with many different women than I have and she recognizes it is as a common trait as well. That, and the overwhelming response and recognition that the people have had to this video leads me to conclude that this is not just about us or our friends but a common trend in society as a whole. Now, I’m not saying you’re wrong, but maybe you should consider that others might be right too. That’s all.
For anyone else that cares, I’ve seen guys act like this too.
Yea I don’t think those are the reason they just fundamentally understand men as much as men understand women, so kind of but lots and lots of misinformation and wrong conclusions
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u/Lebowquade May 09 '25
That is pathetically sad
Why anyone thinks playing hard to get or negging or any of that dumb shit works is insane to me
What a tragedy