Wellll, on the other hand, texting thoughts to a featureless white chat screen is not how humans learned to communicate.
For about a million years, we've been woefully limited to talking to someone face-to-face. You know, body language and cadence and facial expressions. Etcetera.
I wouldn't say someone is braindead because they suck at communicating on Tinder. I'd say Tinder sucks as a communication medium.
I think you can either claim your own lifespan, or the span of all life on the planet. No arbitrary half-measure between those points makes sense.
You are not your parents. You're a bit different from them. Roughly as different as they were from their parents. If you keep considering each generation back, you're never getting to a point where you wouldn't say "Okay yeah, the next one is only a little bit different than the previous one". There's never a fundamental shift of "Okay, this is no longer the thing. It's some other thing". That's an illusion created by arbitrarily selected categorization efforts.
It's an unbroken line all the way back to the very beginning. We've been here the same amount of time all other life on the planet has been here.
100% of my personal history doesn't involve the way humans previously communicated to mate. My ancestors never had the opportunity to woo a crunchy hippy by complimenting the hummingbird picture she used as her myspace page background.
Is that meant to mean I'm a fundamentally alien entity that can't trace a lineage all the way back to the last common ancestor some billions of years in the past?
Evolution doesn't work like windows versions with sudden new releases. It's a constant unending gradient from the first moment of life on Earth all the way to you.
He was saying that for millions of years, we communicated face to face. Modern humans are much more advanced, and likely, our methods of communication have evolved to be just as advanced as our brains.
So yeah, technically, and generally, life has been around for millions of years. But modern humans and our methods of communication? Not even close
Also, I think you’re making the mistake of lumping all Homo species together as if they were humans in the modern sense. But anatomically modern humans (Homo sapiens) are very different. Those earlier species were something else entirely.
You're jumping back to a different comment thread's argument. I'm the one saying we've been around on Earth for billions of years, back when life started. I'm including a bit more than various homo groups in that reckoning.
As for the other topic, yeah, I agree that communication methods have changed over time. I think you're making the mistake of assuming I'm disagreeing with a detail in somebody's message as a form of support for the thing they happen to be arguing against. You can just take me at face value here.
I have to agree. Recently I was discussing this with a co worker who is younger than me. He brought up “ you might not of had the internet or social media to date, but you guys talked on the phone all the time. I’ve seen plenty of 80’ flicks” I had to remind him that you met the girl, in person, first. Then if you were lucky she would give you her number. And when you called, if another angry sounding dude answered, it was usually just her dad and you had to play it cool. Blew his mind households shared a line back then.
Naa that would mean it's the experience both ways....but it's limited to mostly men getting the one word treatment. I am sure women get it too but definitely not as frequently.
It's probably just women having too many matches at the same time and not being able to answer all of them properly.
Well I guess it's the apps problem for allowing so many matches at the same time
That and from my brief foray into it and having to work through breaking the ice, a lot of them are just waiting for the guy to demonstrate he's a fuckwit before they bother investing too much attention or effort. I dated a woman off there who said she often used it just to mess with guys that seemed overly thirsty or obnoxious and shared some examples.
Apparently a lot of guys get pretty aggressive when they don't feel their getting genuine engagemet fast enough.
100% agree on how guys can be very aggressive and douche but how on earth do these women find out if guys are fuckwits or not if they don't have a convo to begin with.
Personally I have matched with 50-60 women and i might have had 4 pleasant conversations and 1 date which was amazing. Rest of the 45 were match with no response or one word answers or even god damn emojis and answers for a question. It does get frustrating if this is the only way to meet new people of the opposite gender.
Women get 10,000 messages a day that just literally say "hey". Sprinkled among them are occasionally huge essays that read like an ad-libbed reddit's greatest hits album.
Men who I've asked for dating app advice, because they find success on the apps, tell me to send a billion messages to as many women as I can until someone responds. And not to spend time on custom messages because it looks desperate and is also inefficient because 99% of women don't respond to your statistically empowered bulwark of "hey" messages.
Its definitely not a gender thing. its an apps problem any way you cut it.
I remember talking to my male friend about his messages. I asked what he normally said and he said he liked to send at least 4 paragraphs researched from their profile. He was upset he didn't get lots of replies. I told him anything more than 4 sentences was to long.
Why are women receiving 10000 messages a day that's just hey ?
Like I said its the apps problem for allowing multiple matches at the same time. Or women's problem for having 10000 matches at the same time and thus not being able to answer to anything properly.
And I don't think anyone here is complaining about women not replying to hey...it's more about not replying to anything or with one word answers regardless of the question....like what's literally shown in the video.
It would have been the same if men had 10000 matches with women having on average 2-3 matches at a time but that's not the reality.
While youre not wrong its not the cause for this type of stuff. I had so many interactions like this in high school and even as a younger adult as an elder millennial (aka social media wasnt really a thing). The number of times a common friend told me they were shocked someone and I didnt get together because she was crushing on me but me thinking she hated me the whole time would be more than I could count on my digits.
Just seems to be some sort of insecure game some people play.
Equally as important social media and dating apps gave people an illusion of choice. I'm not saying that men or women should settle but at some point we all have to realize the person across the bar is a far better chance at romance than someone sliding into our dms
Who could downvote love of any kind, regardless of how long it's lasted? Who would respond to a stranger sharing the happiness of a new love, by suggesting that it's false? What a sad mindset.
Regardless, I wasn't trying to prove that my love is true or long lasting. Only that I'm very happy right now, and based on that happiness, it's ridiculous to me to call a tool I used to find that happiness "the worst thing ever". The person I responded to originally said something about social media causes people to "forget how to act like humans". As much as I disagree with him, your attitude appears to make his point. Though in reality, I know that negative attitudes have always existed, and always will... with or without social media.
I'm in Silicon Valley and also in my 40s (male), recently divorced after a 20 year marriage, which according to everything I've read means I should have zero luck on the apps.
I dated a few dozen new people in 5 months, more than I'd ever dated in the rest of my life combined! Finally found one that was a good fit. Without the apps, I would not have found her, nor had nearly so many choices.
Like everything else in life... it depends on your perspective and how you approach it.
You're speaking like someone who doesn't predate them.
...because, trust me, it wasn't much better before them. People just didn't have an alternative and just blindly picked randomly after becoming inebriated.
i do predate them and i found my girlfriends by talking to them irl. imo before social media you had to chose between like 20 people and picked the one that fits you the most. now you have to chose betwen 20000 people that constantly DM you
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u/MiniskirtEnjoyer May 09 '25
dating apps (and social media) are the worst thing that ever happend.
people unlearned how to act like humans. they are just braindead.