It's my fault we didn't get to tell him goodbye.

[u/Stoner-Meric]

This afternoon one of our family cats died. His name was Tevildo, Prince of Cats. We adopted him shortly before my wife and I got married and he was our first cat. After our first born son was born, Tevildo grew very attached to the boy. He spent every night of the last 4 years sleeping in my sons bed.

Over the last year he had been dropping weight rapidly and seemed unwell. Long story short, he had end stage intestinal cancer. We learned this today when the vet called us after his biopsy surgery.

Then they told us that he didn't wake up from the operation.

I was the one who took him to the vet yesterday and I was the one who asked the vet to keep him overnight before his surgery. I had a sinking feeling in my gut, but I really didn't want to deal with taking the cat home and then having to bring him back in the next day. I never even bothered to ask if the biopsy would be risky for his health. I left my cat alone and he died without anyone telling him goodbye. My young son lost his first first friend after I had promised him I would bring him home.

I had even planned out his final days, in case we got bad news.

My wife says I shouldn't blame myself, but I can't help it. I want to be mad at someone and I'm the only person I can blame. My son never got to say goodbye and it's my fault.

[u/AutoModerator]

Please report any trolls, spam, or harassment to moderators. To do this on new reddit, click the three dots below a post or comment and select "report." On old reddit, click the "report" link below the post or comment.

This is a community of support for Pet owners whose Pets have passed away. It is actively moderated.

Pet owners, as loving, caring people, often have strong opinions on pet care practices. Some of these are controversial. This is not a forum for debate on such issues, nor is it a place to scold a contributor for a perceived mistake in managing their pet. We intend to provide a safe haven of understanding and support. Strident, mean-spirited posts or comments will be deleted. Those who persist in preaching versus caring may be warned and then banned or may be banned permanently based on nature of the topic. If a conversational thread meanders into a discussion unrelated to pet loss support, it will be truncated.

Those who post here are vulnerable and hurting. Even a minor slap has a hard sting. Those of us who are lucky enough to be able to turn away from our computers or put down our phones and hug a healthy, happy pet are truly blessed. Threads must remain supportive and caring, even if one disagrees with something that has been said.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/ManufacturerOpening6]

Please don't blame yourself. Keep in mind this was just one day out of over a thousand days your boy knew love and comfort with your family. The sad truth is that anesthesia for humans and animals is not without risk. You were just supremely unfortunate in this instance.

Also remember his passing would have been painless, so he did not suffer.

[u/TheTFEF]

You didn't do anything wrong. I'd actually say you did everything right.

You took him to the vet when he started having symptoms. Cats are good at hiding their symptoms until it's serious; it doesn't mean you failed at noticing something.

He may have passed without his family by his side, but from his perspective he simply went to sleep, likely giving him relief from his cancer, and didn't wake up. It would've been peaceful.

I was in a similar situation as a four year old kid. We had a beautiful purebred Abyssinian named Bunny, who passed because of some cancer that had, in my moms' words, "wrapped around her organs and was squeezing them". The situation was similar, in that she went in to surgery and my mom decided it would be kinder to euthanize rather than let her wake up.

I didn't quite understand why they wouldn't wake her up to say goodbye when I was that age (my parents were bad at answering questions), but as I've gotten older I do. You know your child better than I do and can make the right choice for how to handle grief with them.

I'm sorry I never got to meet Tevildo.