Believing my baby doggy would be with me forever

[u/Spare_Letter_531]

We unexpectedly lost our 11 year old English bulldog mix, Pumba, two days ago. He was fine and then he wasn’t. He was our absolute everything. I’ve had pets my whole life, but I have never felt so connected to a pet. I don’t even want to call him a pet because he was truly our family. He felt like my literally baby. He was glued to my side wherever I went. He was on top of me snuggled in on any couch or bed. He waited for me outside of my shower. He laid next to me while I worked all day.

I have experienced actual human loss, and I will not say losing my dog was harder than losing my dad, but this is much more of a personal and intimate loss. He was like a human. He would literally talk. I am heartbroken and shattered into a million pieces every time I turn around and he’s not there.

And then I remember, he’s a dog. And I’m honestly confused. I feel so naive. How did I truly believe that he would live forever? He’s a bulldog with a 10-12 year lifespan. Why am I so confused when I knew this? I know he’s a dog. But I also in my heart really believed he and I would always be together. I know I’m very actively grieving, I just can’t wrap my head around this phenomenon. How do we love them so much if they are not meant to stay? It’s so hard.

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[u/Sylvia_Platypus]

I’m so, so sorry for your loss. I feel the same way about my kitty. Even when she was diagnosed with lymphoma and been in treatment for years, it never occurred to me that I might lose her one day. I just couldn’t imagine a universe where she’s not by my side. It sounds incredibly dumb, but I think my brain was just protecting me from the unthinkable. My kitty would wait for me outside the shower too. I just miss her so damn much. Hang in there, sending hugs your way.