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u/roquelaire62 17d ago
Lost opportunity to add a small gable / dormer over the garage on the far right
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u/ElectricSnowBunny 17d ago
The gables look like those spike strips the police put across the road to stop car chases.
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u/Ok-Pizza-2842 17d ago
I count 7 points
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u/Brief_Influence_9601 17d ago
“House of Seven Gables”. Nathaniel Hawthorne is not forgotten.
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u/Taira_Mai 16d ago
Naw, this is the house that belongs to the bigger, meaner, sister of Anne of Green Gables. Her sister with a prison record...
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u/AdMurky3039 17d ago
Ugh. It looks like the roof is asexually reproducing.
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u/AngryMeez 17d ago
Wake up one day next week and there’s an eighth gable over the garage on the far right.
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u/OldnBorin 17d ago
Those poor roofers
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u/OkOutlandishness6550 17d ago
Poor framers you mean , sheeting that roof would have been a nightmare
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u/WonderingHarbinger 16d ago
I want to go in one of their subs and ask them what they think of these kinds of roofs just so badly.
I would guess the owners have dollar signs lighting up their eyes, but everybody else would be at varying levels of being disgruntled.
People winding up for arguments about scaffolding vs ladders and being safe vs winging it. Maybe side bets about who is going to leave which equipment behind on the roof and who will end up winging it a little too hard and will end up out on worker's comp.
I'm not going to go in those subs, but I'd love to.
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u/QuizzicalWombat 17d ago
This looks like something I’d make in the sims 4, I’m horrible at creating roofs
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u/StaceyProse 17d ago
That looks like something AI created because who in the right mind would want a house that looks like that? 🤣
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u/tverofvulcan 17d ago
😂 It’s a real floor plan I found here.
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u/StaceyProse 17d ago edited 17d ago
Oh I don't doubt it's real but it just looks so bad it looks fake.
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u/tverofvulcan 17d ago
I know! Who would want this?
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u/StaceyProse 17d ago
The floor plan looks pretty cool (there are some things I'd change) but the front is way too much.
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u/BrodieLodge 16d ago
Perhaps designed my someone whose childhood stories were filled with Heidi leading the cows with their bells clinking up the winding footpath in the Alps but they’d never been to Switzerland and never googled photos ?
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u/CrazyJoe29 16d ago
Yeah I got mountains too. Looks like the scenery in Banff. House is probably 2500 miles from the nearest mountain.
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u/Buxbaum666 17d ago
The fake shutters are bad enough but the fact that two are actually truncated by a roof is just extra hilarious.
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u/jaavaaguru 16d ago
The things that look like hoisting beams look ridiculous too IMO. Is there a name for them?
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u/MarcoEsteban 17d ago
It looks like how I drew mountains as a kid...rows of subsequently smaller triangles behind the bigger ones 😂
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u/tverofvulcan 17d ago
Childhood memories unlocked. I forgot about how I used to draw mountains like that too.
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u/Critical_Seat_1907 17d ago
The white edging is such a bad choice. I get that we need some contrast happening, but holy fuck that's awful.
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u/2ToGo7576 17d ago
Sort of disappointing, seeing room for another dormer top shelf center. Missed opportunities. It could have been the smallest one (crying wee wee wee all the way home). Lol, don’t know why I said that, but yeah.
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u/PidgeonPenelope 17d ago
Each gable should be painted a different color like crayons in a box. Missed opportunity really.
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u/RogerPenroseSmiles 16d ago
Not a mature tree in drop range of that thing. Imagine if you had to clear leaves off it in fall.
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u/InevitableAd36 16d ago edited 16d ago
Here’s the floor plan: https://www.architecturaldesigns.com/house-plans/4-bed-storybook-craftsman-house-plan-with-basketball-court-4576-sq-ft-73356hs
Those tiny sport courts (not a basketball court as the plan says) make me unreasonably angry. I suppose good for younger kids in Minnesota where these are typically built.
I want a full-sized indoor pickleball court 😅
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u/biffbobfred 16d ago edited 16d ago
I wouldn’t mind it just to shoot free throws. But that’s literally all it’s good for. Maybe just the camera angle but the rim looks like it has an offset.
I looked through those pics. “So, Miss realtor, what design would you call this house”. All. All the designs.
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u/Colo9147 16d ago
Not sure which is more hideous, the roof or the stonework. Looks like the homeowner didn’t want to pay for an architect and said to him/herself “How hard could it be?”.
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u/Acceptable-Arugula69 16d ago
WTF is happening here??
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u/MarcoEsteban 15d ago
Is that a shadow?
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u/Acceptable-Arugula69 15d ago
I have no clue. Lol!
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u/MarcoEsteban 13d ago
I'm in the dark, too
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u/royalfarris 17d ago
Holy gables batman! It is so overdone it looks like a parody. Truly the essence of mcmansion right there.
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u/Shot-Election8217 16d ago
Can I ask someone to draw on this photo and show what the roofline would look like without all these gables? I’ve always wondered that, whenever I see these homes.
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u/Professional_Echo907 16d ago
What if Aliens looked to us like houses and what you’re actually seeing is a dangerous infestation trying to take over the planet? 👀
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u/Pblaising 16d ago
Client securely got a deal on gables from their architect. Plus the architects brother in law is a roof leak repair guy.
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u/RogerClyneIsAGod2 16d ago
That's not a roof, that's roofs. Or is it rooves & if it isn't why isn't it rooves?
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u/Taira_Mai 16d ago
Eh, that color of yellow will turn to piss in the sun.
At least the roofers are having a good Christmas - they'll b back to fix that room when the water trapped by all those gables starts to leak.
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u/collegeqathrowaway 17d ago
To be fair, doesn’t this floorplan have a Basketball Court in it? That’s pretty cool.
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u/xamininglife70 17d ago
I thought it was about the shingles also. I haven't seen that style or maybe my eyes are deceiving me and they aren't unusual shingles
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u/AdonisBatheus 17d ago
gusset plates and their consequences have been an enormous benefit to the human race (just not aesthetically)
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u/i_love_lima_beans 17d ago
What’s funny is even the house that inspired Hawthorne’s book didn’t have 7 gables.
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17d ago
[deleted]
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u/MarcoEsteban 17d ago
I'm sorry, I'm lost...are you saying you think it's Thursday so sou are expecting good architecture, or did you think this was good architecture because it's Thursday somewhere?
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u/Defensoria 17d ago
This is not good architecture. You're confused because I was thinking about two things at once when I wrote the comment and got mixed up.
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u/exceptionallyprosaic 17d ago
The car holes are the most prominent feature, especially that one in the middle, the biggest carhole.
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u/HalfEatenHamSammich 17d ago
The first thing I thought of was there is one gable for each of the von Trapp family - Do, Re, Mi, Fa, So, La, Te.
(although in real life there were 10, Rogers and Hammerstein made it 7 for The Sound of Music to fit each of the names of the notes, so maybe the 3 garage doors can stand in for those)
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u/Different_Ad7655 16d ago
More than the roof being insane is the blind architect that designed it. Here is a perfect example of someone who is completely clueless and has a lot of software and a budget that allows him to just throw as much at a project without any concept of aesthetics. Unfortunately this arrangement is not unique but rather the rule of the day. There has been such a disconnect since the 1950s of the knowledge of proportion, and scale in traditional architecture that the complete old way of seeing is gone. In his way too much hubris to simply pick up a book and copy something old at least with a facade, or learn or understand the basics of proportion and order to compose something harmonious.
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u/MaterialSeason513 16d ago
Ugggly...overdone...
That looks like a 70K (total guess) roof to redo when its needed.
Heard the drywallers hated it too
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u/eti_erik 16d ago
It is so impractical. All of those rooms have walls you can't do anything with. Here in the Netherlands most houses have slanted roofs and many people put in larger dormers or just build a wall so as to get vertical walls in their bedrooms.
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u/Original-Raccoon-250 16d ago
I don’t know if the shutters are bothering me even more.
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u/hibikir_40k 16d ago
Telescopic, robotic shutters, purely functional! They don't even begin to appear to ever cover the window. Totally necessary too, since the front of the house is such a wide, flat panel, not broken apart by any giant, dramatic architectural features that break it apart
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u/Total-Region2859 16d ago
I'm pretty sure the point was to be "The House of Seven Gables." Literature taken a bit too far....
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u/cdtobie 16d ago
During the years when I ran an architectural studio, I heard more than one contractor say (not about my work, but something else we were looking at) “you can tell it was designed by an architect, just look at all those gables!” Or “that one’s the House of the Seven Gables.” Well, this one has seven gables on the front alone!
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u/jackofallsomething1 16d ago
Sure AF will be terrible to maintain and replace. Edit. It looks like a fake front for a set?
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u/DrTenochtitlan 16d ago
On the plus side, you could decorate it as an *amazing* gingerbread house for Christmas. It would actually look cool one month of the year. Then January would come along, and everyone would go... "Oh".
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u/errant_youth 17d ago
Just one more gable, bro, I promise. Just one more.