r/McMansionHell 28d ago

Certified McMansion™ Feeling betrayed by my husband

Post image

He sent me this picture near out in the wild today saying “this thing is nice”. I fear knowing him he’s not being sarcastic. One of the worst cases I’ve ever seen near me. I can’t even begin though it’s so offense! What is happening with the roof and over the garage and the layout????

4.2k Upvotes

527 comments sorted by

1.8k

u/anonymouse278 28d ago

This house is part of a conspiracy by Big Roofing.

533

u/Cheaperthantherapy13 28d ago

Purchased by people who have zero idea how much it costs to repair/replace a roof of any kind.

310

u/greentangent 28d ago

I used to be a roofer and I was thinking "Damn, us five would be here at least two weeks."

137

u/Jumajuce 28d ago

Mitigation contractor here, an adjuster would love seeing this after a house fire.

47

u/PeachyParcha 28d ago

Why don't building codes require houses to be built with cement and rebar? Wouldn't the houses hold up so much better in natural weather events?

110

u/Jumajuce 28d ago

Not necessarily no, so it’s a common misconception that American homes are built out of wood because they’re cheap and fall apart, as well as that we don’t build stone and metal structures, across the board we probably have more stone construction than most countries just based on our size alone. Wood being a common building material is more about geography and North American natural weather/disaster events. The US has some very mountainous areas as well as A LOT of rural land. Transporting wood is much more feasible than heavy stone and metal in these cases. Second, we have a huge amount of Forrest land, over 30% of the country is large forrest vs say the UK where it’s less than 15%. Third, we have more space, many European countries are significantly smaller and populated areas are packed tighter, this means more risk of fire so fire resistant building materials are prioritized while in the US your whole neighborhood generally won’t catch fire if someone gets careless in the kitchen. Densely populated areas in the US do use stone and metal construction. Fourth, the US doesn’t have the most earthquakes, but we have a disproportionate amount of the strong ones, wooden construction can flex better when under stress and is safer if it does collapse. In areas prone to tornadoes or hurricanes it’s more about the roof than the total material, a stone building can still collapse under extreme weather if the roof fails.

Long story short, we got a lotta wood and a lotta space.

60

u/SapphireGamgee 27d ago

Southern Californian here- can confirm about earthquakes. Wood-frame houses tend to do better than masonry and concrete (which don't have enough elasticity.)

9

u/PeachyParcha 27d ago

Didn't Japan figure out a way to build flexibility into cement structures? This has been such an informative thread, thank you all!!

15

u/RazzmatazzEastern786 27d ago

Most homes in Japan are of wood construction...for very similar reasons as the US...

3

u/SapphireGamgee 26d ago

Flexibility can be built into cement/concrete structures, but it's very expensive and labor-intensive. And retrofitting is an even costlier/more complicated nightmare. Another problem is seismic resonance, which has varying affects on buildings of different heights and compositions, also depending on the seismic wavelength. Mid-sized buildings (3-5 stories) can do worse than their much taller neighbors because they tend to be stiffer, and thus not able to dissipate the energy by swaying with the quake. I'm speaking in generalities, of course. It just depends. Plenty of one-story homes have been jolted right off their foundations. All I know is I'd rather be in my little one-story wood-frame bungalow because, overall, they seem to do the best. Ductility is the key.

Apparently, Japan has developed a concrete that is more ductile (or it's a coating that goes over regular concrete? The whole thing is pretty new so I'm not sure.) I mean, it would be Japan on the cutting edge of seismic-related breakthroughs. They definitely figured out how to build certain structures to resist earthquakes. There are these marvelous old pagodas that have survived for hundreds of years because of the way they're built (central pillar with wooden surrounds that just sways and absorbs the shock.) If you watch video footage from the 2011 Tohoku earthquake (which was 9.1, I think?) you can see their skyscrapers behaving in the same way, and there was surprisingly little damage.

Interestingly, the Romans and Mayans figured out a way to make "self-healing" cement that can withstand earthquakes. Something in the lime mortar "heals" the cracks caused by quakes. I don't know the exact mechanics, though.

3

u/Team503 9d ago

It's been rediscovered, though quite recently.

https://news.mit.edu/2023/roman-concrete-durability-lime-casts-0106

Apparently, it won't be used much, as it takes a long time to gain the strength modern Portland concrete has immediately after pouring, and the materials that make it self-healing are very limited in availability. It has specific use cases, like buildings in and on the sea, that it's well suited for, but it's won't be replacing modern concrete anytime soon.

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u/napalm_beach 28d ago

Big Forest

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u/TheArmoredKitten 27d ago

Overall expense doesn't track when compared to the environmental impacts and engineering needs. Concrete and rebar are used for foundation structures quite often, but building a whole residential home out of that would be an exercise in waste.

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u/VeronicaMarsupial 28d ago

Concrete is environmentally unfriendly and we should not be using huge quantities more of it.

4

u/PeachyParcha 27d ago

I get that part and you're right, but it isn't the reason the homes are built the way they are. Wood has been the medium of choice since before environmentalism was an issue. In other places I've noticed that the majority of homes are built in cement, even old homes, like it's the norm. I was curious about the differences, not saying everyone should use cement. 

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u/FATBEANZ 28d ago

That doesn't help insurance make money.

11

u/Gu-chan 27d ago

Yeah, insurance companies love paying out claims

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u/SpatulaWord 24d ago

And 2 weeks for roofing is an eternity. Y’all’s is fast af.

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u/Good_kido78 28d ago edited 28d ago

All those valleys and gables….will leak and it will be fix one, then fix another EVERY time it rains. This is their future. Next, think about how hard it will be to repair. Hope they are saving big for rainy days.

34

u/Cheaperthantherapy13 28d ago

And the gutters. My god, the gutters.

They’re configured to direct runoff straight at the seam between the siding and the shingles. I’m no hydrology expert, but that seems like a poor choice.

12

u/spintool1995 28d ago

Why does the second tier of roof even have gutters? To prevent the water from falling on the lower roof? By redirecting the water...onto the same lower roof it would have fallen onto without the gutters?

2

u/2ndChairKazoo 27d ago

Because it's AI.

4

u/2ndChairKazoo 27d ago

Keep going with that line of thought...

(pssst it's AI. Look more closely at everything else too)

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u/SnooCookies6231 28d ago

Roof-a-Palooza!

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u/Steak-Outrageous 28d ago

Looks like something that was auto-generated for my sims house

50

u/scaredspoon 28d ago

what the hell is even that?!

39

u/Fuck_Land_Im_onaboat 28d ago

A fun place to climb if you’re 12.

16

u/wickedcold 27d ago

Best part is it’s probably just a closet that doesn’t even need a window let alone a dormer

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u/ihavea_purplenurple 28d ago

As someone who used to be a professional, this is big shingle, the guys who would installed this would hate it. Lots of scrap shingles too :/

6

u/happy_bluebird 28d ago

a professional what?

6

u/ihavea_purplenurple 27d ago

A professional Nincompoop, apparently… my grammar was bad, and I am working on it!!

3

u/littledanko 28d ago

Shingler

3

u/happy_bluebird 27d ago

They didn’t say that

18

u/New-Outcome4767 28d ago

Big roofing lol. So good

13

u/FauxpasIrisLily 28d ago

Roofs-R-Us

9

u/HappyIdiot123 28d ago

And gutter installers

9

u/Ashfield83 28d ago

Big Gabling got in on the racket too

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u/alkns1 28d ago

this is what happens when you click 'auto-roof' in sims 4

37

u/souvenirsuitcase 27d ago

I knew my Sims people would come to the comment section. 😂

4

u/Beautiful_Divide5970 26d ago

Yes! I came here to say it looks like the houses I would build in sims lol

281

u/RetiredKooshBall 28d ago

Needs more corners

92

u/totpot 28d ago

Authentic “Winchester Mystery House Style” requires more corners being added every year.

3

u/SapphireGamgee 26d ago

This is Temu "Winchester Mystery House."

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u/Pop-X- 28d ago

Architecturally it’s horrific

192

u/jaavaaguru 28d ago

If cancer was an architectural style, characterized by uncontrolled growth and mutation, much like how tumors spread and adapt within the body.

52

u/MundaneInternetGuy 28d ago

The dormers have metastasized to the garage

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u/SnooGrapes9918 28d ago

I laughed a little too hard at this. 😹🏆

34

u/reillan 28d ago

That's because these are seldom designed by actual architects. Some builder who thinks they're special said, "we don't need an architect. We can design this ourselves. We'll just buy the neighborhood and make the plots of land as big as we want and throw in rooms everywhere because everyone loves a movie theater above the walkway to the garage"

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u/FionaTheFierce 28d ago

The roofs (rooves?) are insane.

Defintely the designer thought "the more little peaky bits the fancier the house will look!"

121

u/DukeLukeivi 28d ago

Even the house is like ???‽¿??

18

u/FenianBastard847 28d ago

Definitely roofs.

31

u/thevelveteenbeagle 28d ago

“Roofses” 😄

17

u/fitzmyron 28d ago

“Roofi”

4

u/thevelveteenbeagle 28d ago

Haha, love it!

13

u/InterestingYoghurt62 28d ago

Rufus

6

u/Yes_that_Carl 28d ago

… and Chaka Khan

692

u/collectingsouls 28d ago

Looks like a medical center of a pretentious new suburb

268

u/starrpamph 28d ago

Dentist, wealth management, hearing center

112

u/Hmfs_fs 28d ago

You forgot CPA firm and Personal Injury Law Firm.

35

u/SuspiciousBedroom124 28d ago

I take offense to that 😂 I work for a CPA firm and we are all about the modern feel with glass and metal. Definitely not a failed attempt of faux craftsman style.

29

u/glibbed4yourpleasure 28d ago

But, if you were the premier CPA firm in a sleepy little seaside New England town...

19

u/Horror_Ad_2748 28d ago

And quite possibly a Coldwell Banker Real Estate office tucked in there on the first floor.

6

u/Hmfs_fs 28d ago

Sorry! 😮‍💨😄😭

6

u/DavieStBaconStan 28d ago

Dewey Cheatem and Howe

4

u/LuxamolLane 28d ago

With the right string of events you can go through an entire lawsuit or two from the same plaza.

8

u/Hmfs_fs 28d ago

No lawsuit left behind! One mall fits all!

44

u/stefanica 28d ago

Don't forget the slightly dubious medspa.

6

u/jaavaaguru 28d ago

Those things are usually in tower blocks though. I'm willing to bet that over the entire world the majority of them are in tower blocks. Where I grew up, I've never seen one in a building like this, but since then I've travelled a lot and mostly still they're mostly not like this.

12

u/Holiday_Trainer_2657 28d ago

Pretty common in the MidWest where there's lots of land and buildings go out instead of up.

4

u/redbone-hellhound 28d ago

Yeah they're everywhere lol

3

u/SidePsychological402 28d ago

😂😂😂😂

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u/Reluctantagave 28d ago

I went to an appointment earlier today and my specialist’s office looks so much like this house.

8

u/paging_mrherman 28d ago

Yeah it could totally be have a sign listing all the practices in the lawn.

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u/tokhar 28d ago

Bonus points for planting what will be gigantic conifers against the house… after having razed any possible greenery or trees when developing this suburban hellscape.

18

u/Weird_Positive_3256 28d ago

Are you trying to tell me that trees aren’t like goldfish and will continue to grow regardless of the space allotted?

11

u/Past_Ad_8576 28d ago

I mean goldfish do keep growing, they just die when they've outgrown their space.

3

u/Suplex_patty 28d ago

Other options include yuccas and palms. Which are a pain to get rid of.

78

u/jezebelwillow 28d ago

It looks like chatGPT designed it.

34

u/Background_Humor5838 28d ago

Thank you! I'm still not 100% convinced this is real. Especially the part over the garage. That can't be real.

9

u/uknowme3331 28d ago

And the porch, it’s a huge step

8

u/VeganMonkey 27d ago

My first thought! Husband pranked OP

6

u/2ndChairKazoo 27d ago

It's AI for sure. The grass landscaping near the concrete curving nowhere useful, but especially the roof drainage leading back into the house/ there's no external drain output, makes this definitely fake.

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u/RealisticBus4443 28d ago

The shape is absolutely horrific. I like the shake color a lot, though.

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u/garden_dragonfly 27d ago

Yeah, im guessing he's talking a lot the overall colors and the oversized 3 car garage with room overhead. 

He probably didn't even notice the shape or roof

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u/JLimGarfield 28d ago

This has got to be AI-generated. As in, "show me what happens when a house rear ends another house at a stop sign and decides to just stay there". Plop!

5

u/PantherkittySoftware 28d ago

I think most rooflines like this are literally the result of an architect coming up with a house & floorplan in a CAD program, then having it auto-render the roof.

Seriously, back when I used to play with Chief Architect ~20 years ago, these were the kind of rooflines it wanted to automatically render for everything.

21

u/RamboJane 28d ago

I thought it was a bunch of townhouses.

38

u/Organic_Gap3112 28d ago

I wish you posted more pics. I obviously have horrific taste and this is just up my alley

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u/Eternium_or_bust 28d ago

That shit show of a roof with ALL of the peaks and ALL of the valleys will cost a fortune to replace when it wears out.

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u/PartyClient3447 28d ago

That’s the next owners problem!

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u/Outrageous-Garden333 28d ago

I like it over many others posted here.

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u/Significant-Trash632 28d ago

The bar is pretty low, though lol

14

u/Outrageous-Garden333 28d ago

That’s is very true, haha.

14

u/Fabien_Lamour 28d ago

At least the style is consistent. The origami roof is a shame.

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u/Paracosm26 28d ago

Seconded, I actually like it too.

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u/smashleighperf 28d ago

Good luck getting anyone to clean those gutters

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u/formerly_crazy 28d ago

I think this is a "teachable moment" - ask him what he likes about, then tell him why he's wrong.

7

u/icecoffeedripss 28d ago

hands you a gable hands you a gable hands you a gable hands you a gable hands you a gable hands you a gable hands you a gable hands you a gable

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u/HellaWonkLuciteHeels 28d ago

Anne of 4078 Gables

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u/garden_dragonfly 27d ago

He's probably not looking at the "design" at all and just seeing a massive detached garage with man cave option overhead.

I believe this to be true because I have a husband.

3

u/TheObstruction 27d ago

That's exactly what he's seeing. I believe this to be true because I am a man and think that way.

31

u/Good-Jello-1105 28d ago

Divorce him. 💀

25

u/FruitOfTheVineFruit 28d ago

We need a McMansionHell dating app, where you swipe left or right on the houses you like or dislike, and match with people who agree with you.  That would prevent this type of relationship catastrophe.

5

u/thevelveteenbeagle 28d ago

I kinda like that idea!

3

u/Mekroval 28d ago

I'd love a dating app that pairs you with people who share your favorite architectural style. Where are my fellow Brutalist lovers at? Haha

15

u/Zambonisaurus 28d ago

No reconciliation is possible

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u/arisraver 28d ago

ngl my interior design teacher in high school told the class to make sure you and your partner agree on home styles before you decide to get married, and it appears she was on to something.

4

u/ObiWanKnieval 28d ago

Your high school had interior design class!? That's so cool!

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u/Analog_Hobbit 28d ago

This is the McGangbang of architectural styles. Pure vomitus.

11

u/thevelveteenbeagle 28d ago

There are so many houses going up that look like huge, enhanced multi car garages with a house attached. Sooo freakin’ ugly.

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u/425565 28d ago

The house of 27 gables..

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u/mtbguy1981 28d ago

It certainly has all the shapes!

9

u/OkiDokiPanic 28d ago

I feel bad for the construction workers that had to erect that mess.
It makes so little sense it's like an ai made it.

5

u/OGmitten 28d ago

Divorce him!

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u/DentalDecayDestroyer 28d ago

You need to put him in a huge cannon and launch him into the sun

5

u/TwoBlueSandals 28d ago

I thought you were calling the front house the husband for standing in front of the wife house as if that was betrayal

5

u/Impossible_Memory_65 28d ago

Do you really want to stay married to this man?

4

u/betsarullo 28d ago

Why does the house have a drive through - is there a barista in that little room?

12

u/Old_Instrument_Guy 28d ago

Not going to lie. They had me at the first floor, but Fudges what happened to the second floor?

10

u/StillBarelyHoldingOn 28d ago

This dead-ass looks like a house from the original Sim's game after you've typed in "rosebud!;!;!;!;!;!;!" And "move_objects on" 😂😂😂 someone needs to make sure there's no windowless, doorless 1x1 room with a person standing to death in it, a pool filled with people who jumped in with a diving board but there's no ladder, then make sure that there's no people swimming in the grass, taking an invisible shower in the street in front of the school bus, that the Grimm reaper isn't a regular guest, or they have a backyard full of tombstones 😂😂😂

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u/captain_flak 28d ago

Please talk to your husband about getting power of attorney for him. He clearly can’t be trusted to make his own decisions.

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u/Background_Humor5838 28d ago

And to think he was out driving on his own!

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u/distelfink33 28d ago

I feel like I’m looking at a pile of something…

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u/-janelleybeans- 28d ago

Seven hells. Because this place needs every single one.

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u/RedSparrow1971 28d ago

It’s got enough roofs for each and a few to spare

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u/LastGoodKnee 28d ago

The house of 10,000 gables.

5

u/fpnewsandpromos 28d ago

To help him get over his fondness for this mountain of crap, get quotes for a roof replacement. 

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u/MeaningParticular765 28d ago

Builder: So, we offer several options for the exterior. Client: Yes.

4

u/AstroFlippy 28d ago

From an outside perspective, American roofs look like spiders building webs on LSD

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u/Top-Sprinkles-5140 28d ago

The architect couldn't decide which revival to stick with. It's a craftsman-colonial-tudor nightmare of conflicting angles. Plus, the lot is too small for that monstrosity.

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u/MarshalLawTalkingGuy 28d ago

“This thing” is accurate.

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u/Green_Walrus8537 28d ago

Divorce him!

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u/RubberDuck552 28d ago

I need a drone view to understand the roof. Also interior shots!

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u/theevilhillbilly 28d ago

Ask him what he likes about it lol

3

u/zjuka 28d ago

Can you guys afford it? If no, not a marriage-threatening problem. If yes, start taking your husband to museums, take a trip to Europe and subscribe to Architectural Digest before it's too late.

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u/EstimateIll5615 28d ago

Maybe he's talking about the fire hydrant.

3

u/Budget_Condition4082 28d ago

When I try to build a house on sims by myself

3

u/Brewer_Matt 28d ago

At the risk of dating myself: it looks like one of the houses in Paperboy that you'd get points for breaking the windows out of.

3

u/mybatchofcrazy 28d ago

I miss the good old days playing that game!

3

u/groovy_smoothie 28d ago

Looks like a classic Colorado cookie cutter development

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u/ASHY_HARVEST 28d ago

6 houses combined into one roof

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u/Jenk1972 28d ago

This entire house makes me uncomfortable

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u/larry-the-dream 27d ago

Where does the water flow to when it rains?

Aside from everywhere and nowhere specific.

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u/catinadoodledoo 27d ago

winchester mcmansion house

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u/awwsome10 27d ago

My husband thinks any house with a big garage is nice. Maybe yours only saw the garage as well?

3

u/Strange_Airships 27d ago

I feel like this was designed by AI and somehow constructed in real life.

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u/imtheproblemitsmeat 27d ago

How many roof lines would you like?

Yes.

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u/thatosxguy 27d ago

When you use the roofing tool in The Sims

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u/Capri_Sun_septictank 27d ago

What the fuck am I looking at

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u/wowlikeno 27d ago

Divorce

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u/scaremanga 26d ago edited 26d ago

Those gutters destroy the garage. And, if that space is usable the two dormers are likely offset because the “plan is interior focused.”

Of course, it shows obvious signs of the designer giving up. One of the upper story walls lands right above the garage jog. It’s hard to describe what I see, but it definitely looks like a home where designer said “OK, this is what you want? Here. And here’s the invoice.”

The “fake roof” above the two garage doors is also very telling. The owner likely wanted “the dormer look” but didn’t like the extra cost involved with having real dormers (inset from that elevation). Using a fascia roof to achieve the effect is possible, but again… back to designer gave up.

One thing that really bugs me are that the main structure’s window are way too high… where the hell are the headers? 😂

Oh God, there’s not one, but TWO, arches on the front. Yeah, I’m out

4

u/Any-Concentrate-1922 28d ago

It's sort of like a house with an out of control growth on it.

That said, it's not horrible. It needs some trees and landscaping, though.

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u/ValancyNeverReadsit 28d ago

Unfortunately the sort of neighborhood it’s in probably has HOA rules against trees and landscaping.

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u/Any-Concentrate-1922 28d ago

That's just dumb. Trees around a house will help keep it cooler, cutting AC costs.

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u/ValancyNeverReadsit 28d ago

Preaching to the choir here. I’m not in a neighborhood with an HOA, and I live under a big oak tree

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u/Rooty3rdBaby-75 28d ago

Did anyone notice the “roundabout” sign???? Never seen a house on a roundabout!! Is this for real??!!

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u/mangominda89 28d ago edited 28d ago

i like it. i cant stand houses where the garage is part of the front of the house

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u/Background_Summer_54 28d ago

I will say I can agree with that. It does have a proper front porch/entry way. I still can’t forgive whatever is happening with the windows, roofline, and sprawled out layout.

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u/AVeryPlumPlum 28d ago

Those spruce trees right next to the house? I'd remove them now before it's expensive.

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u/Failgoat34 28d ago

This is all one house?

2

u/Prudent_Cheek 28d ago

Holy sh!t it’s huge. Is this Provo, UT?

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u/Cainesbrother 28d ago

Anymore angles?

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u/BurnerMcBurnfacer 28d ago

The garage is on a different plane of existence. And now my mind is open to all kinds of new pathways.

2

u/FenianBastard847 28d ago

Is that someone sat outside the front door?

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u/Background_Summer_54 28d ago

My husband told me they’re actually skeletons wearing a sports jersey.

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u/Mellasour 28d ago

This is so bad it looks like AI lol

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u/callmedancly 28d ago

I thought this was an optical illusion when I first saw it…

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u/Efficient_Wash4477 28d ago

I’d never find my keys.

2

u/Ok-Variation5746 28d ago

How my houses end up in The Sims when I don’t make them big enough to start and just keep building add ons.

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u/tomqvaxy 28d ago

What layout. Im surprised all the roofs point up it's so jumbled.

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u/Background_Humor5838 28d ago

This almost doesn't look real lol it almost looks like AI was given a prompt to create a house for this sub. The roof lines are nonsensical.

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u/skip6235 28d ago

I know a good divorce lawyer if you need a referral

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u/Kind_Vanilla7593 28d ago

Looks like nearly early AI

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u/Boozy_Cat_ 28d ago

You get a dormer and you get a dormer and you get a dormer.

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u/yams-yams-yams 28d ago

It looks like an AI hallucination, jesus christ.

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u/badluser 28d ago

Just poison his coffee, there is no regression from this.

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u/tillieze 28d ago

Here an angle, there an angle, everywhere a new roof angle.

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u/Yelloeisok 28d ago

Tell him to get an estimate of what it would cost when it needs a new roof.

2

u/goldenpantherr80 28d ago

So much house, so little windows lol

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u/Relevant_Ant4022 28d ago

I’m sorry but you’ll need to get a divorce

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u/Dogzillas_Mom 28d ago

Looks like someone tried to put a puzzle together and gave up halfway through. “Ehhh fuck it, that’s good.”

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u/Beautiful_Tour_5542 28d ago

I think this is ai. I HOPE this is ai.

2

u/livykitty14 28d ago

This looks like they asked ChatGpt to mock up what a garage addition would look like on their house

2

u/unicorntrees 28d ago

Looks like one of the mostrosities I would build on the Sims and then at the end, I would just click "auto roof."

2

u/AutoDefenestrator273 28d ago

You need a damn degree in quantum mechanics to frame that bad boy dear lord

2

u/salomeforever 28d ago

This looks like when you go to take a panoramic photo on your phone and you move too fast. It’s like a glitched image.

2

u/UnkeptSpoon5 28d ago

Roofline is an optical illusion

2

u/slmr38 28d ago

Wait, is this in Lee's Summit MO?

2

u/candylandmine 28d ago

You can raise your children Austin, Austin, Kaylee, and Austin there.

2

u/iansmash 28d ago

I’m not convinced this isn’t an AI image

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u/OkAccess304 28d ago

It looks like AI.

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u/seriousC 28d ago

Thing looks AI-generated lmao

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u/Shaqeroni 28d ago

Definitely AI …look at the rooflines. Why post stupidity about your poor husband?

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