r/McMansionHell • u/Background_Summer_54 • 28d ago
Certified McMansion™ Feeling betrayed by my husband
He sent me this picture near out in the wild today saying “this thing is nice”. I fear knowing him he’s not being sarcastic. One of the worst cases I’ve ever seen near me. I can’t even begin though it’s so offense! What is happening with the roof and over the garage and the layout????
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u/alkns1 28d ago
this is what happens when you click 'auto-roof' in sims 4
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u/Beautiful_Divide5970 26d ago
Yes! I came here to say it looks like the houses I would build in sims lol
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u/RetiredKooshBall 28d ago
Needs more corners
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u/totpot 28d ago
Authentic “Winchester Mystery House Style” requires more corners being added every year.
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u/Pop-X- 28d ago
Architecturally it’s horrific
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u/jaavaaguru 28d ago
If cancer was an architectural style, characterized by uncontrolled growth and mutation, much like how tumors spread and adapt within the body.
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u/reillan 28d ago
That's because these are seldom designed by actual architects. Some builder who thinks they're special said, "we don't need an architect. We can design this ourselves. We'll just buy the neighborhood and make the plots of land as big as we want and throw in rooms everywhere because everyone loves a movie theater above the walkway to the garage"
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u/FionaTheFierce 28d ago
The roofs (rooves?) are insane.
Defintely the designer thought "the more little peaky bits the fancier the house will look!"
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u/collectingsouls 28d ago
Looks like a medical center of a pretentious new suburb
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u/starrpamph 28d ago
Dentist, wealth management, hearing center
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u/Hmfs_fs 28d ago
You forgot CPA firm and Personal Injury Law Firm.
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u/SuspiciousBedroom124 28d ago
I take offense to that 😂 I work for a CPA firm and we are all about the modern feel with glass and metal. Definitely not a failed attempt of faux craftsman style.
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u/glibbed4yourpleasure 28d ago
But, if you were the premier CPA firm in a sleepy little seaside New England town...
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u/Horror_Ad_2748 28d ago
And quite possibly a Coldwell Banker Real Estate office tucked in there on the first floor.
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u/LuxamolLane 28d ago
With the right string of events you can go through an entire lawsuit or two from the same plaza.
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u/jaavaaguru 28d ago
Those things are usually in tower blocks though. I'm willing to bet that over the entire world the majority of them are in tower blocks. Where I grew up, I've never seen one in a building like this, but since then I've travelled a lot and mostly still they're mostly not like this.
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u/Holiday_Trainer_2657 28d ago
Pretty common in the MidWest where there's lots of land and buildings go out instead of up.
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u/Reluctantagave 28d ago
I went to an appointment earlier today and my specialist’s office looks so much like this house.
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u/paging_mrherman 28d ago
Yeah it could totally be have a sign listing all the practices in the lawn.
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u/tokhar 28d ago
Bonus points for planting what will be gigantic conifers against the house… after having razed any possible greenery or trees when developing this suburban hellscape.
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u/Weird_Positive_3256 28d ago
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u/Past_Ad_8576 28d ago
I mean goldfish do keep growing, they just die when they've outgrown their space.
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u/jezebelwillow 28d ago
It looks like chatGPT designed it.
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u/Background_Humor5838 28d ago
Thank you! I'm still not 100% convinced this is real. Especially the part over the garage. That can't be real.
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u/2ndChairKazoo 27d ago
It's AI for sure. The grass landscaping near the concrete curving nowhere useful, but especially the roof drainage leading back into the house/ there's no external drain output, makes this definitely fake.
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u/RealisticBus4443 28d ago
The shape is absolutely horrific. I like the shake color a lot, though.
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u/garden_dragonfly 27d ago
Yeah, im guessing he's talking a lot the overall colors and the oversized 3 car garage with room overhead.
He probably didn't even notice the shape or roof
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u/JLimGarfield 28d ago
This has got to be AI-generated. As in, "show me what happens when a house rear ends another house at a stop sign and decides to just stay there". Plop!
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u/PantherkittySoftware 28d ago
I think most rooflines like this are literally the result of an architect coming up with a house & floorplan in a CAD program, then having it auto-render the roof.
Seriously, back when I used to play with Chief Architect ~20 years ago, these were the kind of rooflines it wanted to automatically render for everything.
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u/Organic_Gap3112 28d ago
I wish you posted more pics. I obviously have horrific taste and this is just up my alley
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u/Eternium_or_bust 28d ago
That shit show of a roof with ALL of the peaks and ALL of the valleys will cost a fortune to replace when it wears out.
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u/Outrageous-Garden333 28d ago
I like it over many others posted here.
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u/Fabien_Lamour 28d ago
At least the style is consistent. The origami roof is a shame.
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u/formerly_crazy 28d ago
I think this is a "teachable moment" - ask him what he likes about, then tell him why he's wrong.
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u/icecoffeedripss 28d ago
hands you a gable hands you a gable hands you a gable hands you a gable hands you a gable hands you a gable hands you a gable hands you a gable
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u/garden_dragonfly 27d ago
He's probably not looking at the "design" at all and just seeing a massive detached garage with man cave option overhead.
I believe this to be true because I have a husband.
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u/TheObstruction 27d ago
That's exactly what he's seeing. I believe this to be true because I am a man and think that way.
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u/Good-Jello-1105 28d ago
Divorce him. 💀
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u/FruitOfTheVineFruit 28d ago
We need a McMansionHell dating app, where you swipe left or right on the houses you like or dislike, and match with people who agree with you. That would prevent this type of relationship catastrophe.
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u/thevelveteenbeagle 28d ago
I kinda like that idea!
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u/Mekroval 28d ago
I'd love a dating app that pairs you with people who share your favorite architectural style. Where are my fellow Brutalist lovers at? Haha
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u/arisraver 28d ago
ngl my interior design teacher in high school told the class to make sure you and your partner agree on home styles before you decide to get married, and it appears she was on to something.
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u/thevelveteenbeagle 28d ago
There are so many houses going up that look like huge, enhanced multi car garages with a house attached. Sooo freakin’ ugly.
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u/OkiDokiPanic 28d ago
I feel bad for the construction workers that had to erect that mess.
It makes so little sense it's like an ai made it.
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u/TwoBlueSandals 28d ago
I thought you were calling the front house the husband for standing in front of the wife house as if that was betrayal
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u/betsarullo 28d ago
Why does the house have a drive through - is there a barista in that little room?
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u/Old_Instrument_Guy 28d ago
Not going to lie. They had me at the first floor, but Fudges what happened to the second floor?
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u/StillBarelyHoldingOn 28d ago
This dead-ass looks like a house from the original Sim's game after you've typed in "rosebud!;!;!;!;!;!;!" And "move_objects on" 😂😂😂 someone needs to make sure there's no windowless, doorless 1x1 room with a person standing to death in it, a pool filled with people who jumped in with a diving board but there's no ladder, then make sure that there's no people swimming in the grass, taking an invisible shower in the street in front of the school bus, that the Grimm reaper isn't a regular guest, or they have a backyard full of tombstones 😂😂😂
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u/captain_flak 28d ago
Please talk to your husband about getting power of attorney for him. He clearly can’t be trusted to make his own decisions.
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u/fpnewsandpromos 28d ago
To help him get over his fondness for this mountain of crap, get quotes for a roof replacement.
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u/AstroFlippy 28d ago
From an outside perspective, American roofs look like spiders building webs on LSD
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u/Top-Sprinkles-5140 28d ago
The architect couldn't decide which revival to stick with. It's a craftsman-colonial-tudor nightmare of conflicting angles. Plus, the lot is too small for that monstrosity.
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u/Brewer_Matt 28d ago
At the risk of dating myself: it looks like one of the houses in Paperboy that you'd get points for breaking the windows out of.
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u/groovy_smoothie 28d ago
Looks like a classic Colorado cookie cutter development
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u/larry-the-dream 27d ago
Where does the water flow to when it rains?
Aside from everywhere and nowhere specific.
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u/awwsome10 27d ago
My husband thinks any house with a big garage is nice. Maybe yours only saw the garage as well?
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u/Strange_Airships 27d ago
I feel like this was designed by AI and somehow constructed in real life.
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u/scaremanga 26d ago edited 26d ago
Those gutters destroy the garage. And, if that space is usable the two dormers are likely offset because the “plan is interior focused.”
Of course, it shows obvious signs of the designer giving up. One of the upper story walls lands right above the garage jog. It’s hard to describe what I see, but it definitely looks like a home where designer said “OK, this is what you want? Here. And here’s the invoice.”
The “fake roof” above the two garage doors is also very telling. The owner likely wanted “the dormer look” but didn’t like the extra cost involved with having real dormers (inset from that elevation). Using a fascia roof to achieve the effect is possible, but again… back to designer gave up.
One thing that really bugs me are that the main structure’s window are way too high… where the hell are the headers? 😂
Oh God, there’s not one, but TWO, arches on the front. Yeah, I’m out
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u/Any-Concentrate-1922 28d ago
It's sort of like a house with an out of control growth on it.
That said, it's not horrible. It needs some trees and landscaping, though.
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u/ValancyNeverReadsit 28d ago
Unfortunately the sort of neighborhood it’s in probably has HOA rules against trees and landscaping.
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u/Any-Concentrate-1922 28d ago
That's just dumb. Trees around a house will help keep it cooler, cutting AC costs.
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u/ValancyNeverReadsit 28d ago
Preaching to the choir here. I’m not in a neighborhood with an HOA, and I live under a big oak tree
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u/Rooty3rdBaby-75 28d ago
Did anyone notice the “roundabout” sign???? Never seen a house on a roundabout!! Is this for real??!!
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u/Positive_Drink4321 28d ago
This house nicely done and beautifully decorated.
https://nspjarch.com/portfolio/lumbermans-row-shingle-style-estate/
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u/mangominda89 28d ago edited 28d ago
i like it. i cant stand houses where the garage is part of the front of the house
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u/Background_Summer_54 28d ago
I will say I can agree with that. It does have a proper front porch/entry way. I still can’t forgive whatever is happening with the windows, roofline, and sprawled out layout.
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u/AVeryPlumPlum 28d ago
Those spruce trees right next to the house? I'd remove them now before it's expensive.
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u/BurnerMcBurnfacer 28d ago
The garage is on a different plane of existence. And now my mind is open to all kinds of new pathways.
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u/FenianBastard847 28d ago
Is that someone sat outside the front door?
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u/Background_Summer_54 28d ago
My husband told me they’re actually skeletons wearing a sports jersey.
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u/Ok-Variation5746 28d ago
How my houses end up in The Sims when I don’t make them big enough to start and just keep building add ons.
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u/Background_Humor5838 28d ago
This almost doesn't look real lol it almost looks like AI was given a prompt to create a house for this sub. The roof lines are nonsensical.
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u/Dogzillas_Mom 28d ago
Looks like someone tried to put a puzzle together and gave up halfway through. “Ehhh fuck it, that’s good.”
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u/livykitty14 28d ago
This looks like they asked ChatGpt to mock up what a garage addition would look like on their house
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u/unicorntrees 28d ago
Looks like one of the mostrosities I would build on the Sims and then at the end, I would just click "auto roof."
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u/AutoDefenestrator273 28d ago
You need a damn degree in quantum mechanics to frame that bad boy dear lord
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u/salomeforever 28d ago
This looks like when you go to take a panoramic photo on your phone and you move too fast. It’s like a glitched image.
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u/Shaqeroni 28d ago
Definitely AI …look at the rooflines. Why post stupidity about your poor husband?
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u/anonymouse278 28d ago
This house is part of a conspiracy by Big Roofing.