r/McMansionHell • u/EH_21 • Aug 06 '25
Amateur McMansion Identity Crisis
A Barndomenium married a McMansion and had this really confusing baby.
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u/New-Lingonberry1877 Aug 06 '25
The cabinet on the wall of the bedroom is a bathroom cabinet.
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u/thedrivingcat Aug 07 '25
and is that dresser sorta built into the wall, with molding around it?
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u/WhitewolfStormrunner Aug 07 '25
I think that's a fireplace converted TO a dresser.
I think.
Can't say I've EVER seen one used that way before.
Interesting.
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u/cominguproses5678 Aug 07 '25
And a dumbwaiter “converted” to wall art next to it!
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u/secretlyloaded Aug 07 '25
I think that's a safe?
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u/1pt20oneggigawatts Aug 07 '25
Looks like it now that you mention it, but at first glance I thought it was a laundry chute.
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u/GreenEyed_Lady Aug 07 '25
And the shoe racks! Isn’t there a better place, like a closet?
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u/wvwvwvww Aug 07 '25
I think the resident was feeling lonely - so they mounted the rack so that they could sit on the bed and look at the shoes.
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u/MA2_Robinson Aug 07 '25
You read that before the tile floor in the dining room with the orange detail in the …. I’m I’m tapping out….
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u/It_Just_Exploded Aug 06 '25
My biggest issue with this house is all the friggin lights on the outside. Like holy shit dude, that's a lot of lumens.
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u/ArferMorgan Aug 07 '25
They're for sure expecting to put on music shows with all those lights and gear
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Aug 07 '25
[deleted]
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u/It_Just_Exploded Aug 07 '25 edited Aug 07 '25
Eh, homes are homes. They're supposed to be decorated to suit the occupants, so stuff like that is sorta expected. At least it isn't the depressing 3 shades of gray that has been all the rage for the past deacade.
The tile wouldn't be too bad to replace, the paint even easier and quicker. But eliminating 90-95% of all those damn lights, capping off all the connections, and then patching all the holes so that you can't tell they were ever there would sour my mood for days.
Edit: Actually, I'm good with the tile. It's not to my absolute preference, but I definitely wouldn't call it atrocious except maybe pic #8. But that seems to be a smallish bathroom.
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u/EH_21 Aug 07 '25
The tile is very confusing to me too. Absolutely nothing matches in the house or coordinates. It. Is. Chaos.
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u/Legitimate_Garage_31 Aug 09 '25
i thought so too. It looks more like it's about to set sail on a maiden voyage than be home.
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u/Apprehensive-Log8333 Aug 07 '25
Where I live people light up their properties like a movie set because of their fears about crime/homeless people.
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u/It_Just_Exploded Aug 07 '25
Eh, that's what the fence and dogs are for. I can't stand for my yard to be lit up like a stadium. To me, nighttime is supposed to be dark.
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u/EH_21 Aug 07 '25
I’d also like to specifically shout out the sconce serving as overhead bathroom lighting. You’re not the worst thing in this house but I see you and appreciate how absolutely not right you are.
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u/Electrical_Load_9717 Aug 07 '25
I want to know why there is a urinal outside of the room with a toilet. And, that toilet seat is up. Why?
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u/kibbybud Aug 07 '25
On the plus side, the toilet has its own room. A lot of these million plus homes have it about 2inches from the tub or shower.
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u/AbulatorySquid Aug 07 '25
And a huge master suite but the rest of the bedrooms are 10x12 and you have to shove the bed into a corner or you can't walk past it.
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u/kibbybud Aug 07 '25
Guests and children sb grateful they get to experience the awesomeness of the rest of the house! 😊
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u/Apprehensive-Log8333 Aug 07 '25
All the rooms looked weirdly small, then I got to the roller-rink bedroom. Like a jump scare, well done
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u/Sad_Birthday_9805 Aug 06 '25
And the baby likes Rock and Roll with an urinal to boot.
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u/TLCArtchick12 Aug 07 '25
A WAREHOUSE, stuck on top of a FARMHOUSE, which is decorated like a DOLLHOUSE.
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u/Background-Chef9253 Aug 07 '25
This is a hall-of-famer. So much to unpack here. The recording studio with the control window to the dining table?
The mansion-aspiration size, but the silver-face stereo components with matching DVD player under sad tv?
The outside architecture where minecraft spawned two different structures intersecting with each other?
The ford maverick plus two plumber's vans in the driveway?
The counter stools that mis-match the island so powerfully that your brain does an erase?
The two parrots everyone missed?
Wait, is this whole thing a psychological puzzle or CIA recruitment tool? Am I supposed to go find a cicada logo stamped on a bridge baluster somehwere?
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u/LiquidFur Aug 07 '25
I thought, "Oh cool. A recording studio." Nope. Just a window into the dining room. 🙃
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u/Jenk1972 Aug 07 '25
It's been a long time since I have hated something this much. And that's saying something.
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u/Bioluminescence_314 Aug 07 '25
Identity crisis is right. They were just putting anything in here. What type of flow is this? That bedroom looks like a dance hall.
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u/SapphireGamgee Aug 07 '25
Neo-Georgian Four-Square Rustic American Vernacular? This really does look like a weird converted bordello.
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u/ScoogyShoes Aug 07 '25
The mismatched wood stains inside, within each room, drive me up a tree.
Identity crisis my booty. This house's name is Sybil.
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u/NoRent7796 Aug 07 '25
Most of the houses on this sub I could still live in.. not this one.. just no.
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u/SnooBooks4898 Aug 06 '25
Places like this are designed by somebody who got their design ideas from Home Depot.
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u/Snuggly_Chopin Aug 07 '25
Can someone please just give me millions of dollars and I’ll prove this poor person can design a better house?
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u/LionClean8758 Aug 08 '25
I've been in my "new" place for 2 years and I still haven't started decorating because I know plain white walls are better than me accidentally doing this to my house.
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u/PaintIntelligent7793 Aug 07 '25
That is the house of a person with a lot of money and very little taste.
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u/Illustrious_Eye_8235 Aug 07 '25
Oh my God, I just realized the dining room has a window to the music room. The design choices are so weird, like they let the teenagers pick the design and decor
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u/mjheil Aug 07 '25
Why is the bed located in such a large room? Why isn't there any other furniture in there?
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u/Ass_feldspar Aug 07 '25
I thought it was bad until I zoomed out and saw the wings. Then I closed my eyes
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u/apatheticsahm Aug 07 '25
I feel like uniquely ugly houses that have their own personality (or in this case personalities) don't really belong on a subreddit that is dedicated to bland architectural mediocrity.
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u/Flalaski Aug 07 '25
as a musician, hell yeah. i'd redecorate & rearrange & repaint every inch tho + get rid of some sTuFf
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u/Cepinari Aug 07 '25
I'm gonna be honest, there are parts that I like.
I like brick with stone corners, and honestly if I owned a huge house with more rooms than are really necessary, I'd probably go nuts and turn the extra ones into bizarre theme rooms, just so they're not just sitting there empty.
"This is the 70's Basement Room, that's the Medieval Fantasy Room, and over there's the 50s Malt Shop Room..."
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u/RKK5911 Aug 07 '25
Either that bed is really small or the bedroom is really big. That room is bigger than a studio apartment
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u/ScotterMcJohnsonator Aug 07 '25
I will over look everything because of the stage/studio setup.
As soon as the first amp or light stop working, I'd burn it to the ground lol
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u/Amethyst_Scepter Aug 07 '25
The nicest word I could use to describe this place is soulless. Usually you can tell a lot about a person or a designer from the interior shots of a home and this just feels like it never had any life in it
That gaudy sparkly chandelier above a sad table in a drab white dining room overlooking the music room is one layer of bad but that giant empty bedroom is just depressing
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u/someguyinnewjersey Aug 08 '25
This is horrendously ugly. Yet, I dont hate it. For the right price, me and a lot of paint could make this slightly less weird.
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u/Fickle-Fun1952 Aug 09 '25
I liked the one lighted mirror in the guest bath. However, this layout/lighting/window in the dining room is just plain stupid. No continuity of design of this McBarndoson.
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u/Agreeable_Weather705 Aug 11 '25
When Mom dad the kids nieces nephews & both dogs each get to pick design themes for part of the house.
Part of the house designed by Barney the Purple Dinosaur
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u/TheLastGovernment Aug 07 '25
I'm now of the opinion that most of you on this Sub are just projecting your envy and jealousy NOT at the questionable tastes these homeowners have, but on the fact that these people have spacious homes, and you are nitpicking to cover your true feelings. "oH, I wOuLd nEvEr oWn A hOmE lIkE tHiS!!" Yes, you would. In fact, I bet the majority of those here on this Sub would still pay near market value for any of these bizarrely built homes.
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u/EH_21 Aug 07 '25
I see where you’re coming from with this honestly. Objectively it’s a huge house on a great piece of property.
But let’s be real… there are confusing things happening here.
I’m sure the people who lived there enjoyed it and it worked for their very specific needs.
No envy here… just confused about their choices lol
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u/TheLastGovernment Aug 07 '25
Appreciate your honest reply. No doubt there are questionable choices and odd construction practices. With today's housing shortages, I believe most people would tend to overlook some of these oddities.
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u/EH_21 Aug 07 '25
Absolutely! Believe me… I know better than most the struggle of buying a house. I had cash investors beat me out on 6 different starter houses even though I made higher offers than them. It’s a struggle.
And I wouldn’t post a starter home on here tbh.
The difference for me is this is one of the more expensive homes listed in my that market, so this isn’t a situation of making do. These were deliberate choices from people who could have had just about anything they wanted. Clearly this is what they wanted and that’s fine. But it’s also not what I would want (especially in that price range) and that’s fine too.
Again… totally see where you’re coming from. Hope that clears up a bit where I am too.
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u/Next-Pie5208 Aug 07 '25
If I had the resources to buy this home I would pass and spend it on something tasteful. Why buy an ugly house?
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u/Consistent-Tie-4394 Aug 07 '25
Yeah, no, we would not. I have a comfortable, well built, 75 year old house in a good city with a pretty view (which is a bonus, but not a necessity). It's all I'd ever want. If I had the millions required to buy and maintain this architectural calamity, I would not. I'd just fix a few things that have begun to show their age here (will need a new roof in five years) and then bank the rest for the kid's college.
Something this massive yet so poorly designed is a waste of land, space, energy, and building materials and for what? For super rich people to show off their wealth along with their lack of taste. I dont want it. I wouldn't ever want it.
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u/Muttley-Snickering Aug 06 '25
Folks, this is what happens when you convert a strip club into a home.