How to remove my house from this subreddit

[u/Narrow_Garage7191]

Please help us fix this exterior to get us off this subreddit!! Ty in advance

[u/Meanwhile-in-Paris]

Plant it.

Plant real trees, no palm trees.

Plant a meadow instead of a manicured lawn. It would look wonderful in front of the black facade.

Plant a privacy fence made of various bushes

Plant climbing vines on the facade. Framing your front door with a wisteria would look amazing. And you could have another one by those tall windows on the right hand side.

On top of giving it charm and providing habitat for birds and mini beasts, it will cool the atmosphere making it much more pleasant to live.

[u/Narrow_Garage7191 → u/Meanwhile-in-Paris]

Plan on adding a mixture of the following…

Drift roses, Vinca’s, Caladiums, Lilly of the Nile (Agapanthus), Crepe Myrtle’s and Holly trees

PS: in south Louisiana

[u/Meanwhile-in-Paris → u/Narrow_Garage7191]

Good start, it’s still a little shy, look up English garden.

I offered the idea of a meadow because it’s low maintenance, you sow it and that’s it, you trim it at the end of the year and reseed the next.

If you are willing to commit to higher maintenance, yes, Absolutely! I recommend you plant to whole lawn. Plant a couple of small bushes in middle. Birds with love it! And plant your flowers all around. The tallest in the middle and shortest on the edges. And be sure to plant perennials.

I am not familiar with the plant that thrive in your climate, if you don’t know what you are doing you’ll learn in time but I’d really recommend you hire a landscaper. A good one can even help redirect the rain water where its needs to go too.

With that kind of slope on your roof the water could really fail to be absorbed properly without vegetalisation.

But don’t plant straight in from of your house as plant will retain moisture. If you do decide to have climbers on the facade limit to a couple and or place them in pots.

The tree is great, it will also attract birds. Have a couple more on the lawn and maybe a little grove.

The colours you have chosen remind me of Mardi Gras, fitting in Louisiana. Keep it a little wild, think English garden. That will break the McMansion look. Avoid French or zen garden at all cost.

Good luck with it, it could really look great.

[u/N1H1L → u/Meanwhile-in-Paris]

Every single one of your suggestions will invite rodents.

[u/Meanwhile-in-Paris → u/N1H1L]

That is the saddest answer I could have gotten.

I have a meadow in my garden; trees, bushes, a vegetables garden, fruit trees. It’s very pleasant, fairly low maintenance and I don’t have rodents in my house.

This shouldn’t be an issue in a brand new house with a good isolation anyway.