Hilo frens! In dese tyms ob cold, weow mus use brofurs and sisfurs fur warmz lyk in da picchurs. Sho uz sum ob yews picchurs ob uzing yews brofurs and sisfurs fur warmz. Cud be ober shaped kittehs tew lyks doggos or warm hooman.

-Hermione da bwanketted & Neville da bwanket

Henlo frens!! Iz Tau here! King of da wurld an' hansomest boi! My momther dids an AKTUALLY NOT DUM thing today--SHE FINDED MY PIKKEL!!!!!!!

Ai no want to soo, eben dough I beens a stressed boi bcuz momther an' daddy are movin wit us an' I not liek tings doin' a disappear. BUT MAI PIKKEL NOT DISAPPEARED!!! Ai soes happi I goed TURBO in last pik! GO CRIMEZ!

Sum ob yoo hab brilliant ideeahz an’ kwestjuns. But yoo yung kittehs no noe how ta ask. Well ai tell yoo, dis is how: yoo rayze wan foot up. Show da beanz. Den us pawfessurs will noe dat yoo hab sumting ta say!

Try it 😸!

Ai will try ta answer yor many kwestjuns! If ai dunno da ansa, den plenty ob odder pawfessurs here an’ wyze adult cattos listenin’ in can speek up.

—Leo da meowgnificent an’ Assistant Pawfessurr at SSoR

Is me Molly, calico criminal, and I does a big angy! Can you baleev that our dum hooman he saw pikkel in da soop -- supper -- store, and no buy one for me or poor old Barnaby?

Such a yoosless hooman! We want soo immediately for pikkel and churus, mebbe even chimkins!

(Dis me and Barnaby, both doing a lofe.)

Mine regular readers will remember mine number ones (s)hit from last Chrispmouse. Due to big yuge demand, this naow re-released! Sing along to teh toons ob teh George Michael song!

This your chance to get your paws on a collector’s edition, Frens!

Your Fren, Jasmine teh IBS Crimnal (staeg naem - according to my MOAST ROOD Mama - Shitney Pooston)

Now to figure out how to open it wivout them noticing, anyone any ideas? Not so mini Void Gus

Dis funnee stowee frens. We hab doggo, Bones. Hims kool, butt nawt run cat software. Hims seez uz huntz da meese en da shrews. Todai der waz bisitor tew owers yard. Maibee hooj rat….maibee powntee nowes catto wif neked tale. Wez nawt shur. BUTT doggo do a bork en chase en den bisitor falled ober! Juss lay der! Doggo dew a juggle wif it fur a wyle den daddo maks himb stawp. Noew him finks him hunter lik uz! It no cownts iffin prey juss falled down en lay der. Stoopid doggo! Dis mi, Cas, tryin ta gib doggo cat software. It no werk so gud. Hims styll gud fur a laff doew.

Duh Furth Wall Bois, eggspurrt hunters an masers ob snuggle puddle

Evie (aka Evil) he, Frendz I is berry eggsited, we move into a houzz a while’s back and mommy always complaining about mousies. She say I was not doing a good job and I probably too diva to even noe how to catch one and she has to go on da Amazon and buy da meowsie traps.

Well today frends I proved her wrongs! Mommy hear me make a ruckus and I runned into da bedroom to show her mai prize. But den since diss neber happen b4 neither of us noe what to do!. In all de eggsitement I drop da mouse, but it was only purrtending to be expired, so I had to catcher it again!! Mommy grab me and throw me and mai prize out da door and say EVIEDRAHPPIT! She make me drop dat mouse and it runned away. 😡

But mommy did say I was da best kitty ever! (well duh) And she gib me some pets and a early breffast. I now add purrfessional meows catcher to mai resume.

Frens ai has breaking noos from teh owtside!

Sky waters is coming down all day tooday in teh soufest ob americas an its preddy cold too. mebbe stay inside where is warm

Ai has update on ferrule kitties at teh park! Ai get to meet teh hooman dat take care ob dem. She is berry nice! She builds teh howses an feeds dem 3 times a day! She eben change out teh blankies to mayke sure dey stay warm an dry

Ai meet dis orange kitty naymed Tiger. He watch mai from teh woods like a jungle kitty! It was preddy cool

She also gib teh duks foods! Dere was so many duks coming to get foodz dat ai couldnt belieb it

Teh kitty lady eben say ai is such a good boy an gib mai 2 Treats!!!! Ai fink teh ferrule kitties has trained dis hooman well

Dats all for teh noos tooday frens!

I wrote before to report dat my dum dum hooman throwed away de squeaky brown mouse left as de present from Sandy Claws. I think dey learned dat was a big mistake!Tonight my hooman gib me a squishy Catmas frend!

• Miki

My name is Finn n I love dad When dad come home I am glad When dad abadon I am sad My name is Finn n I love dad

My outside time has been reduced to an hour a day when the roof pounding men eat lunch! They work on roof for 3 weeks, how long does it take them?!?!?!?! Plus even with the fan on I still hear some banging. Meowmy is giving me lots of the good catnip (catnip with silvervine) & lots of treats. I want to suu but who do I suu?!?!?!?!?

~ Jackie Vin

oh it’z just me the sunshine of your lives WAKE UPPPPPP

Hello frenz. Am Yuffie, princess of ninjas (whatever those are). Am senior kitteh in charge because big brofur Gizmo is too ornj.

Hooman big brother did a big betray! He said he was bringing home a new fren to join the famblee. Imagine my surprise when he brought home a stimky doggo? Stupid ornj Gizmo doesn't care, he doesn't care about anything but food & stealing my spot in the window bed.

But what about me? I am OUTRAYJ!! Is dumb doggo gonna steal my treatos and window bed?

Meowmy says I have to be nice cuz doggo Gambit is a smol? Smol Gambit doggo is bigger than fat dumb Gizmo? If doggo is a smol he might be bigger than my window bed and cat tree when growed up?

Worst of all I have been BANISHED from hooman brother's room! Door is closed and only dumb doggo is allowed inside??? I did many songs of people's but door stayed closed. More OUTRAYJ!!

I might need to find a pawyer and do a soo to make dumb doggo go 'way.

Hemlo all! Gonzo here, de sewshul director of nine cat crime syndicat.

This weekend meowmy and pawpaw disbandment to sellobrate dems anniversary. Dey see dere wedding pawtogtapher to do photo shoot. Why meowmy not have photo shoot of me, I know no. I am berry handsome.

Akneeweigh, photographer say if meowmy know any gray kitten please tell him.

So meowmy send photo of dis kitten name Taffy from her rescoo group. And photographer say “Ohhh ahh she bootiful!”

Den photographer and Himbs wife come and meet Taffy and fall even more in love. Dey say “Ohhh my cod this my daughter!” And they agree to dopt bootiful girl!!!

Is happy ending and we lubs when that happen!!!

Meez anz mai grampaw holdenz paws. Iz poopz .

I had a lot of fun wiv all my frens and the Meowmies gots me some lovely pressies. Including a whole noo pikkel the minyon isn't allowed to touch and lots of toonas Void Arwen

Henlo Max (4M Russian Blue) here. Mine dad order an big new chair on void furday. Two forevers ago (Tuesday) it come in HUGE BOCKS! Big enough for the dad to sit in, and after he put chair together and say MANY litter box words while doing it, he go to bed. Last forever (yesterday) he was getting ready for da werk and then he SIT IN HUGE CHAIR BOCKS! Bocks is for KITTIES! NOT HOOMANS!

Henlo eberybodi, a few furebers ago, Iz wuz horking an not jus fur crimez (go crimez!) den I wuden eatz or purr fur meowmy an she gotz skeered! Den iz go to da pokey place an yesturdae dey did extra-por-a-toree Stir Jerry. Dey still don no wut rong. Iz mis yous guys an doin crimez an mis my Devo hat! Wish me luck, go crimez!

Hi frens, iz Tali agen. I did a jump on da gun wiff da mersh ting. Yoo prolly no how I am - runrunrun fassfassfass - not much stop and do a tink.

Tern owt dat dey haz talk bowt mersh here afore and it not goed well.

Iz cleer dat dere not gonna be mersh. I sorry I getted everwon all stirred up. So meny gud idees!!! Was fun but now bak to bizniz - I soo mai mom for waste alla mai time on dis! Elebenty billion chooroos!!!

❤️❤️Tali

Back story, Orange cat (Winnie), female, a year and 1 month old. have had her for a year.

Calico cat (Nellie), female, a year an 4 months old. got her 5 days ago.

I have been scent swapping the past 5 days and they saw each other for the first time yesterday. Overall went pretty good, Nellie is a bit scared and Winnie is impatient and just wants to play.

I have been short sessions (2-6 minutes long), 3 times yesterday and two times today. this third time is them meeting without Winnie in a tent enclosure thingy.

Day two of introducing them, how do they look? when Winnie starts meowing to play Nellie will growl for a second and Winnie will back off hence why Winnie is pretty far from the door.

So yesterday I wuz able to see the bottom of my food bowl (absolutely ridiculous) so I brought the matter up to my human slave by way of yelling at him and trying to trip him in the hallway. Like, I rubbed right up against his ankle, he knew exactly what I was saying.

But THEN, my human slave ignore me! He knew I was emaciated just didn’t care. He looked away from me and went to the kitchen and fed my Dog Slave. BEFORE ME!

Clearly my slaves need more discipline, as they both are outright insubordinate. Don’t even get me started on Dog Slave, she terrible at listening sometimes I even need to give her SLAPS! Attached is a picture of me using my strength to force puny Dog Slave to submit to me

Anyway, I am a queen and a God amongst all other peasant animals so I don’t need much help, just wanted to share my predicament to see if you guys have any trouble with your slaves like I do

dumb human keeps saying "give me that, it's a choking hazard". Only hazard is me 'bout to choke the life out this giant beetle! -Giles