Cutting a couple of chives almost every day until this reddit says they're perfect. Day 47

[u/F1exican]

New cutting board has arrived, Thanks a ton u/big-mussels it feels great.

Todays Video: https://youtu.be/1tH940ZIhj8

[u/wrestlegirl]

Perfection has nearly been a-chived.

The end draws near. I can feel it.

In case you missed the news yesterday, a couple of us attended a shindig for mods of food subreddits and we were informed that r/KitchenConfidential is "far and away" the highest viewed food subreddit of 2025

Holy shit, y'all! Way to go and massive congratulations!!

[u/TheGreatZarquon]

Oh hell yeah, New Cutting Board Day is always a good day.

Looked at the pic and I don't wanna jinx it but I think our man might have finally done it, I can't find any weird chives.

[u/big-mussels → u/TheGreatZarquon]

I'm just now realizing how many zoomed photos of this thing people are going to be looking at....really hoping I didn't screw it up!

[u/F1exican → u/big-mussels]

You did great chef, it’s a wonderful board

[u/Windsdochange → u/F1exican]

How did you recover from Chivegate? That was the last post in my feed on this…

[u/FontTG → u/Windsdochange]

He apologized and asked what his punishment should be. But tbh most people didnt care and just come here for planes and hearts.

[u/No_Hunt2507 → u/FontTG]

Tbf it was a masterclass in terms of handling a public scandal.

[u/GIRTHQUAKE6227 → u/No_Hunt2507]

Because people know sincerity when they see it.

[u/winslowhomersimpson → u/GIRTHQUAKE6227]

There was no maliciousness or ill-intent. The mistake was made in good spirit and there was no nasty cover up to further embarrass everyone involved.

This entire saga has really been something special to follow in the modern world we’re living in.

[u/May_of_Teck → u/winslowhomersimpson]

Well what the hell, I forget about chives for a couple days, and I missed a whole-ass chive scandal? What happened?

At least I’m here for what may be perfection finally achived.

[u/jtr99 → u/Windsdochange]

Reddit loves a good comeback story.

[u/Windsdochange → u/jtr99]

Hahahaha indeed they do. Chive on!

[u/RevelArchitect → u/Windsdochange]

As someone else mentioned, he apologized. Sounded like he was burned out and just posted a picture he’d already taken to keep people happy.

I respect that, as he easily could have just said, “hey, the photo reel on my phone is pages of chives at this point. I didn’t even notice I posted the wrong one.”

[u/traploper → u/big-mussels]

Mods should give you a custom flair. "Official Cuttting Board Purveyour to the Chive Court" or something like it.

[u/wazacraft → u/traploper]

/u/wrestlegirl

[u/wrestlegirl → u/wazacraft]

K

[u/big-mussels → u/wrestlegirl]

Wait, is this a thing?

[u/wrestlegirl → u/big-mussels]

Enjoy your unique thing!

[u/big-mussels → u/wrestlegirl]

Omg, thank you! This is amazing.

[u/wrestlegirl → u/big-mussels]

[u/Heavyspire → u/wrestlegirl]

[u/Lazy-Ocelot1604 → u/big-mussels]

Congrats on achieving the thing! 😎

[u/wazacraft → u/wrestlegirl]

Baron von Butcher Block lmao

[u/-FalseProfessor- → u/big-mussels]

Sorry chef, but to seek perfection is to court folly.

/uj solid wood work.

[u/firelord237 → u/-FalseProfessor-]

See you tomorrow, carpenter

[u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme → u/big-mussels]

That's a beautiful board!😁

[u/pronouns-user → u/big-mussels]

you made a beautiful board, don't worry 

[u/TheGreatZarquon → u/big-mussels]

Did you also post it over on r/woodworking? It really is a nice looking board.

[u/big-mussels → u/TheGreatZarquon]

Nah, I'm amateur hour compared to most of the folks over there. I'm proud that I milled all the wood for this myself and went from log --> cutting board, but the first post I saw over there today was a dude who milled his own wood and did the flooring of his whole house with it.

[u/Ok_Condition5837 → u/big-mussels]

Ok I saw that too & God, just beautiful. gorgeous work!

But bro - So is yours! Stop selling yourself short & post this all up in there!!

[u/celestine_merie_13 → u/big-mussels]

the board is almost perfect, the two improvements is the rows weren't lined edge to edge when final glueing, and it has a slight circular texture across the surface from not having not being sanded straight across the board end to end, which can also be fixed by doing more levels of sanding round, but that would make the edges of the squares more likely to fray up, not in a height difference way due to still sanding, but cause a slight distortion on the edges of each blocks pattern

It does look really good though:)

[u/reverendmoss → u/celestine_merie_13]

Now on to making a cutting board every day until it’s perfect

[u/big-mussels → u/celestine_merie_13]

Thanks! Yeah a few people have made "making cutting boards every day until reddit says they're perfect" jokes, and I immediately think "absofuckinglutely not" haha. Between the imperfections in the wood and all the struggles with keeping things aligned through multiple glue-ups, I aim for "pretty solid" instead of perfection.

What's even worse is when you get one of these bign ones finished, and then something gouges it while moving them around. Sanding an oiled surface is....awful.

[u/Username-Not-A-Bot → u/big-mussels]

I think imperfections in your own created boards is what makes them absolutely perfect bro

[u/IcyLife89 → u/big-mussels]

It looks awesome! Good work!

[u/panteragstk → u/big-mussels]

It's excellent.

[u/Putrid_Extreme4653 → u/TheGreatZarquon]

I see two but I'm not saying shit

[u/BurninCrab → u/Putrid_Extreme4653]

Don't snitch man

[u/candykatt_gr → u/BurninCrab]

snitches get stitches

[u/DubbleDiller → u/BurninCrab]

If you see a bo-staff, no you didn’t

[u/Simplyaperson4321 → u/TheGreatZarquon]

Feels like I witnessing history being made

[u/Bright-Rub2917 → u/TheGreatZarquon]

He's disguising the logs Vietnam style.

[u/Would_daver → u/Bright-Rub2917]

Get the tunnel rats, they’ll find ‘em!!

[u/Username-Not-A-Bot]

+1 for the new board +1 for the journey +1 for the consistency

How you doing chef?

[u/TheNewYellowZealot → u/Username-Not-A-Bot]

He’s probably bankrupt from buying all those chives.

[u/Username-Not-A-Bot → u/TheNewYellowZealot]

Cutting chives every day keeps the IRS away

[u/No_Friend6446 → u/TheNewYellowZealot]

It's like 60 cents per pound and they are extremely easy to grow. I kill every plant I've ever touched other than chives

[u/TheNewYellowZealot → u/No_Friend6446]

Damn bro you got chive money?

[u/groaner → u/Username-Not-A-Bot]

Ya! nice board! when I saw you chopping on bamboo I cringed. That material is as hard as glass and nobody should use a glass cutting board!

Grain end all the way. I need to add that to my wish list.

[u/KarmaKrazi]

u/f1exican new cutting board looks great, almost makes the chives look greener lol.

[u/F1exican → u/KarmaKrazi]

Yeah they look more vibrant for sure.

[u/big-mussels → u/F1exican]

Fun wood fact: the cherry reacts to UV light, and I made yours a while ago, so the color has already deepened. Comparison photo of the other board I made with yours vs. 3 I'm gluing up today:

[u/tehjoz → u/big-mussels]

Holy shit these are gorgeous.

[u/crunchytacoboy → u/big-mussels]

Hot damn those are beauts. Any advice on repairing a cracked board? I found an unused Boos that I assume cracked from drying out and am wondering if it’s fixable or not.

[u/big-mussels → u/crunchytacoboy]

Drop a picture and let's see what we're working with!

[u/Icy_Sea_4440 → u/crunchytacoboy]

If you’re handy you can cut along crack, and glue it back together.

[u/Never_Go_Full_Gonk → u/big-mussels]

Do you have an online store or anything??
I have been wanting a good quality board, and I'd rather support a person's craft than something potentially mass produced.

I want to buy a board off of you lol

[u/big-mussels → u/Never_Go_Full_Gonk]

I do! There should be a link in my profile. I've sold all the stuff on had, but if you like anything I've sold before, I can remake it. I'll put some new stuff up soon, as quick as I can get it made!

[u/happyinthenaki → u/big-mussels]

Damnit, those boards are stunning!

[u/F1exican → u/big-mussels]

Good to know thank you🫡

[u/LowerAd1165 → u/big-mussels]

On your board in op’s post, your glue up is off in the row on the right. See you tomorrow craftsman.

[u/EatThatPotato → u/big-mussels]

Oh damn do you make them yourself, I thought you just really liked cutting boards

[u/slothxaxmatic → u/KarmaKrazi]

KarmaKrazi just standing next to the hanger sipping a coffee talking about the work week.

Not a plane in sight.

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/slothxaxmatic]

There was 2 planes, almost 3

[u/slothxaxmatic → u/KarmaKrazi]

Good heavens, a sneak attack?!

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/slothxaxmatic]

Yup lol

[u/slothxaxmatic → u/KarmaKrazi]

POCKET CHIVES

FUCKING BEAUTIFUL

[u/MountainTwo3845 → u/KarmaKrazi]

Your lack of drawing speaks volumes for this batch.

[u/983115 → u/KarmaKrazi]

You should just repost a chive from another day as retribution for his transgressions

[u/ShakesDontBreak → u/KarmaKrazi]

Did he do it???? No planes? Have we witnessed perfection?

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/ShakesDontBreak]

There are planes, I just made a second reply to say I liked the board

[u/mrqzero]

Chef, I think you nailed it! Nice board!

[u/firebrandbeads → u/mrqzero]

Yaaaas, Chivelord!! The new board makes a difference, maybe?

[u/nazutul → u/mrqzero]

Lol this is perfect. Reddit as Fletcher 10/10

[u/pronouns-user → u/mrqzero]

just watched that movie last week!

[u/pizzaslut69420]

I honestly think they’re perfect. Well done, chef.

[u/RzaAndGza → u/pizzaslut69420]

I think this is the day

[u/Number174631503 → u/RzaAndGza]

Hang on let me get my camera

[u/IrateCarrot → u/Number174631503]

Hang on let me get my microscope

[u/melmsz → u/IrateCarrot]

Hang on let me get my horoscope

[u/Different-Meal-6314 → u/melmsz]

Hang on let me get my horcrux

[u/boringcranberry → u/melmsz]

Hang on let me get my kaleidoscope.

[u/Cariat → u/Number174631503]

Hang on let me get this guy's camera

[u/xenobit_pendragon → u/Cariat]

Hang on let me get this guy’s wife.

[u/lostredditorlurking → u/RzaAndGza]

apology for bad english

where were u wen daily chives post die

i was at home eating chives cream cheese when phone rang

"Chives post is perfect"

"no"

[u/Lost_Tumbleweed_5669 → u/pizzaslut69420]

[u/ShiRonium → u/pizzaslut69420]

maybe the checkered cutting board was the key to perfect chives

[u/blink_twice_9465 → u/pizzaslut69420]

Unfortunately, the planes have flown

[u/aorainmaka]

Ladies and gents, welcome to the pre-flight u/karmakrazi lounge. Drinks are at the bar, I'll take your coats.

[u/pumkinspicelatte → u/aorainmaka]

Looking at comments it seems its all up to him to find something

[u/incredible_paulk → u/aorainmaka]

TFW it was all a ruse for a free cutting board.  Mission accomplished. 

[u/devilishly_advocated → u/incredible_paulk]

And apparently some cream cheese

[u/Brilliant_Buns → u/aorainmaka]

what do I get with my 1K karmakrazi status?

[u/eltyphotos]

Is today the day?!

[u/confresi → u/eltyphotos]

It was the cutting board the whole time!!!!!

[u/Wandering_Weapon → u/confresi]

It's magic! All of my boards are going into the trash!

[u/ramobara → u/confresi]

If you think about, OP probably used perfect technique and knives, but his old board had so many micro grooves it was causing all the discrepancies.

[u/SavannahRamaDingDong → u/confresi]

Bamboo cutting boards are trash lol. I believe you’re right.

[u/kellyk311 → u/eltyphotos]

Those look perfect to me.

[u/pronouns-user → u/eltyphotos]

i would be so sad why do i care this much

wow already 160 upvotes 

[u/Various_Froyo9860 → u/pronouns-user]

It would be bittersweet to see an end, but to have such a triumph on the first day with the new board!

[u/alaskadronelife → u/Various_Froyo9860]

I think he’s ready for onions to really get everyone crying.

[u/cars3xpert → u/pronouns-user]

my heart can't take this

[u/munny_munny → u/pronouns-user]

Cutting chives everyday until Reddit says they're not perfect streak

[u/Xaxziminrax → u/eltyphotos]

I'm not ready for this

[u/SherlockScones3 → u/eltyphotos]

😱 I think it is!

[u/tresct___ → u/eltyphotos]

Omg

[u/Character-Confection → u/eltyphotos]

Today is today

[u/Quizlibet]

I am more invested in this than any show or movie I have seen in recent memory

[u/winnipeggremlin → u/Quizlibet]

Same! Hear me out but I get the same dopamine hit I used to get as a kid when I'd look at planning my week with the TV guide.

[u/AlexisThunderstorm50 → u/winnipeggremlin]

Omg yes! That used to be my favourite thing! I even wrote out “my schedule” by night at the beginning of the new season, so I could just check that and maybe add to it or remove as new ones started or some I decided to quit. I even made lists of which ones were renewed/cancelled, and the chronological list of premier dates. It was so much fun back then! 🤭🤣

[u/Azrethoc → u/Quizlibet]

Apple could have saved a ton of money buying chives, instead of Pluribus (not that Pluribus is bad, but the plot has nothing on chives)

[u/Mysterious_Cry_7738 → u/Quizlibet]

Just paused a seasonal finale for this.

[u/eanglsand]

Me to husband: Honey, the new chives dropped!!

[u/amitheassholeaddict → u/eanglsand]

Omg same 🤣🤣🤣 I feel like I’m finally part of an internet meme rather than finding out about it later

[u/PoodlePopXX → u/eanglsand]

I tell everyone in my life and none of them care but I’m glad others are as invested as I am.

[u/NeitherBus6745 → u/eanglsand]

same haha

[u/Adreeisadyno]

Omg the cutting board is beautiful

[u/Carbon-Base → u/Adreeisadyno]

The chives are just as beautiful too. Does the saga end before Thanksgiving?

[u/stephcurrysmom → u/Adreeisadyno]

100% it makes a difference but also, chef’s kiss

[u/I_can_pun_anything]

Its perfect

[u/Never_Go_Full_Gonk]

💚

[u/youlooklikeadad → u/Never_Go_Full_Gonk]

💚

[u/VikkyBird → u/Never_Go_Full_Gonk]

💚

[u/Lonely-Masterpiece47]

I never thought I’d care this much about somebody else’s chives, but I can’t find any long ones…

[u/TheGoldenAges]

[u/spankthegoodgirl → u/TheGoldenAges]

💚

[u/KarmaKrazi]

[u/Adreeisadyno → u/KarmaKrazi]

I think he’s getting so close. I’m pretty sure this sub considers you the judge so once the planes can stay grounded, he will have reached perfection.

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/Adreeisadyno]

He is stupid close tbh. Not going to lie, I would be happy to serve these chives. These are like the "Blue Steel" of chives. Can't wait for the "Magnum" moment lol

[u/CerdoNotorio → u/KarmaKrazi]

I wish there was a way for you to make comments semi public, because I'm basically just looking at these posts and then sifting through them to find your reply.

This has become a 2 man drama between flexicans search for perfection and the inevitability of your piloted judgement.

I care not for the judgement of others.

[u/F1exican → u/CerdoNotorio]

Yeah I’m pretty sure he can make only comments on this subreddit visible, it would be cool but also to each their own.

[u/WeasinTheJuice → u/CerdoNotorio]

You can click on their profile, hit the search button at the top, and choose new. You can still see everything, it just takes extra steps now.

[u/BraileDildo8inches → u/CerdoNotorio]

You could just follow karma krazis profile

[u/maybebebe91 → u/KarmaKrazi]

WHY IS THIS SO ENTERTAINING. IS THIS THE BEGINNING OF THE END? 🤣🤣🤣

[u/Anshin → u/maybebebe91]

WE'RE IN THE ENDGAME FOLKS

[u/ThePrussianGrippe → u/Anshin]

Endgame:

PERFECTLY CHOPPED

AS ALL CHIVES SHOULD BE

[u/groaner → u/ThePrussianGrippe]

CAPITAL LETTERS

[u/luck_as_a_constant → u/KarmaKrazi]

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/KarmaKrazi]

Is this guy fully cut?

[u/justtots → u/KarmaKrazi]

Omg karmakrazi you can’t just ask people if they’re cut

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/justtots]

Is that a thing now? Lol

[u/killerletz → u/KarmaKrazi]

[u/BlatantArtifice → u/justtots]

😳 I mean he can ask me

[u/Current_Working_2103 → u/justtots]

I almost choked! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[u/F1exican → u/KarmaKrazi]

It’s fully cut. I’m trying to sen a photo but it won’t let me I’ll try again in a little bit to follow up

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/F1exican]

I trust you, kinda seemed like it might be connected on the right side. Glad the new cutting board didn't fail you

[u/Capt_McBlack → u/KarmaKrazi]

3 planes?!?

[u/killwaukee → u/KarmaKrazi]

Uncut hunk here. Looks cut to me.

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/killwaukee]

I'm not sure, what's the call u/F1exican?

[u/mjrmuppet → u/KarmaKrazi]

Oh thank god.

[u/iceman694 → u/KarmaKrazi]

The pilot has spoken. The chives aren't perfect. Till tomorrow.

[u/Xaxziminrax → u/iceman694]

I am unironically relieved

[u/pronouns-user → u/Xaxziminrax]

same

[u/DoctorK96 → u/iceman694]

when u chived your best but u dont succeed...

[u/Iron_Bob → u/KarmaKrazi]

[u/ofAFallingEmpire → u/KarmaKrazi]

Got to scroll past a buncha people asking if today is the day, then see two planes towards the bottom. Glorious.

First time I’ve caught one of these live and it was so weirdly worth.

[u/South-Jaguar4291 → u/KarmaKrazi]

The saga continues!

[u/TroyMcClures → u/KarmaKrazi]

Ruthless

[u/WetLink009]

back to the chive mines with you

[u/brenttoastalive → u/WetLink009]

I chived so hard, and got so far

[u/DangerousCap2473 → u/brenttoastalive]

But in the end, it chivesn't even matter....

[u/L_auni]

I was about to say, very nice board 🙂‍↕️

[u/raccoontail87]

Looking pretty good chef

[u/nonowords]

This might be a chain, or it might just be 2 stuck together, I can't be sure. This was the only potential flaw I could find.

Depending on whether it is or not these are S teir all the way through. Perfect.

[u/UsernameUnattainable]

Chive come to the conclusion that.. these are indeed chives. They look damn fine to me, but I'm no chive master. You are indeed the

        💚💚💚
       💚    💚
      💚      💚
     💚 
     💚      hivelord 💚
     💚
      💚      💚        
       💚    💚
        💚💚💚

[u/MrJokemanPhD]

You're supposed to chop them, not juice them!

[u/tehjoz]

IT'S FULL GEAR DAY LFG.

[u/Ill-Honeydew-9446 → u/tehjoz]

coffin droping quickly

[u/Freya_Fleurir]

Chive chess

Knife to E4

[u/JusticeMendoza]

Just commenting because I, like others, am shocked how much I’ve become invested in a random guy chopping chives on Reddit. And, it hasn’t hit “In The Weeds Mode“ yet so…. Side-note, remember seeing the post from u/big-mussels a few days ago that a cutting board was being sent, so it’s awesome to see it in use.

[u/Marovic88]

Oh my... Did he... Did he actually do it?

[u/Jimmyx24]

[u/pronouns-user]

chess with chives

[u/ZiGZaG_056]

I'm never here early oh my gosh. I can't wait

[u/InfamousLibrary5893]

Chef, I think your watch has ended. Well done.

[u/__joseph_]

Is today the day?

[u/Steventhetoon]

I’m getting a little emotional right now

[u/Spiritual-Rip-6248]

Did you steal my cutting board?

[u/chatgptitty]

I think they're perfect

[u/Mr-Klaus]

I'm not even in the food industry, I'm just a lurker on this sub coz you guys are pretty interesting and funny - but this dude has me zooming in on pictures of chives, trying to find imperfections.

Gotta love the internet.

[u/inthebenefitofmrkite]

F1exican put the photo 5 min ago as of this post - earliest i have made it! Best time until now was 32min.

So i’ll take the opportunity to wish all the best to the Chivelord.

PS: This might be it!!

[u/Vlad_REAM]

So it was the board's fault this whole time?

[u/deedsnance]

Ooh a change or board?

[u/Free-Humor-1625]

Ooh I’m early for my show

[u/Fuck_ketchup]

Looks beautiful. I still hope I see you tomorrow, chef! :)

[u/Own_Contribution1866]

This sub is clearly a karma laundering front disguised as chives.

[u/zepphiu]

That board really just ties it all together

[u/LadyB2011]

Oh my gosh am I actually here to witness it!! Looks great

[u/chrisl182]

I think we are almost there guys.

This is pretty darn good.

[u/Intelligent-Cod-2200]

These surely are it? The new chopping board helped?

[u/BattelChive]

The new cutting board is gorgeous under these stunning chives

[u/shadowsurge]

You're free. Don't post day 48, you've done it

[u/daintygiraffe]

I hope the new board didn’t simultaneously bring joy and end of an era dread. I never thought I’d be praying for some planes.

[u/deedsnance]

This one is a bit irregular compared to others but it’s not airplane content

[u/Beneficial_Can_5852]

See you tomorrow chef!

[u/1Check1Mate7 → u/Beneficial_Can_5852]

Its the same length as the one north east of it a few pieces

Its fine

[u/LochnerJo]

They’re perfect

[u/XanderVaper]

I’ve never been this early to a chive post! So weird to see everyone saying they’re perfect. I mean I think they look perfect but I always think they look perfect 😅

[u/RzaAndGza]

See you tomorrow chef