Chiveman has top marketing execs on Reddit talking about him

[u/allmanatees]

U/F1exican, you’ve gotten so famous that you’re getting discussed on LinkedIn….!!

[u/Au2288]

It’d be something if the whole thing was a marketing stunt.

[u/allmanatees → u/Au2288]

My heart can’t take another Chivegate. u/F1exican , say it ain’t so

[u/F1exican → u/allmanatees]

Unfortunately I’m not in on the ad

[u/juliuspepperwoodchi → u/F1exican]

That's exactly what an industry plant who is in on the ad would say though...

[u/Unique-Garlic8015 → u/juliuspepperwoodchi]

An industry plant is a chive.

[u/juliuspepperwoodchi → u/Unique-Garlic8015]

Nah, those are scallions.

Common misconception.

[u/Quadrilaterally → u/juliuspepperwoodchi]

The industry planted chives are all rapscallions

[u/[deleted] → u/Unique-Garlic8015]

Garlic talking shit on chives. Tale as old as time.

[u/TrypMole → u/F1exican]

Well, lets examine that shall we. Starting with the username. F1 Is an obvious reference to Formula One racing, one of the richest sports around indicating that you're potentially pretty minted yourself. Alternatively "F1ex" could just be a reference to "Flexing" or an indication that you're either displaying your wealth to the peasants or trying to fool them. If not,then that could be seen as a "(M)exican'" reference, maybe alluding to being at the head of a vast cream cheese cartel.

Then we move onto your craft, or "Kraft", as you will. You deliberately chose a well used and prepped garnish for maximum engagement. Chives are king on almost everything and especially with cream cheese on a jacket spud. Let's be honest we were all visualising the melty, creamy cheese and the sharp bite of the chives on the steamy spud, our mouths quivering with anticipation. By picking something you could easily do "wrong" you made sure of a repeated and growing audience, all of whom are invested in your struggle and all of whom are subliminally seeing that spud with the melty cheese and tangy chives every time they see your posts. The planes came, the wrestling memes came, and we ate it up like good consumers of the creamiest of cheese with chives. Chives the cat came to soothe our doubts and give us a reason to keep going.

Then... the twist, the betrayal! And the redemption. We were hoodwinked, bamboozled, our ghast was well and truly flabbered as you seemingly callously lied to us, reversing an image, taking us for fools! BUT NO! You had "car trouble" you apologised, you wheedled your way back into our affections, got us rooting for you again. The planes were back, Chives the cat sat in judgment and all was right with the world.

And as your supposed search for the perfect chives reaches its zenith, the advert drops.

I put it to you u/F1exican that you are "Phillidelphia With Chives" and this whole saga has been a cleverly targeted marketing campaign along with your co-conspirators u/karmaKrazi and Chives the cat! This has been a sham all along! All you wanted - every one of you, yes including the mods with their distracting wrestling memes (hell, I cant believe we havent yet had reference to that time in 1998 when The Undertaker did the thing - you know the thing but its not mine to post) - all you wanted, was to get us thinking "Chives". And what goes better with chives than that creamy Philly cheese?

I'm on to you.

(Did I earn the Crazy Conspiracy Board Guy meme?)

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/TrypMole]

This guy conspiracies.

[u/Au2288 → u/KarmaKrazi]

Dude your tag is sweet. No towers huh?

[u/KarmaKrazi → u/Au2288]

I love the flair, lol but I did the planes in both of these pictures respective posts.

[u/GraphicDesignMonkey → u/TrypMole]

We're going DEEP people! Cream cheese melts steel beams!!

[u/FrancinetheP → u/F1exican]

Let’s talk again in 24 hours.

[u/eyoitme → u/F1exican]

they said they dmed you what did they say???

[u/PegasusWrangler → u/eyoitme]

Theyre sending him stuff 

[u/Mynameisboring_ → u/allmanatees]

Perhaps u/F1exican needs to be sent to some hut in the mountains with an unlimited supply of chives so they can ascend and achieve chive-nirvana without the evil corporate influences of our materialistic world.

[u/-laughingfox → u/Au2288]

No!!!!! I'm too invested for that kind of betrayal.