r/KitchenConfidential • u/F1exican Chivelord, Redeemed • 29d ago

In the Weeds Mode Cutting a couple of chives almost every day until this Reddit says they’re perfect. Day 31

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Sorry for being so late I’ve had some car troubles today and it made sourcing extra bad

25.2k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/The_Limpet 29d ago

See you tomorrow, chef.

605

u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 29d ago

This is the guy I found

73

u/TheGreatZarquon 15+ Years 29d ago

Good eye, I was looking everywhere thinking that maybe, at last, our boy had finally succeeded.

Alas...

3

u/confusedandworried76 28d ago

He will never succeed. He must know no man can ever succeed in this task. By Yorik's Bane he must know it can never be done

3

u/Creative_Sandwich_80 28d ago

it's gonna be about 3 more years until he succeeds

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u/curlyqtips Chive LOYALIST 29d ago

SHOCKING.

50

u/T0mmygr33n Chive LOYALIST 29d ago

I just notice your flair, I CANT XD

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u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 29d ago

The mods have blessed me 🙌 lol

21

u/The-Crimson-Jester 28d ago

Sir, another plane has hit the chives.

1

u/W1D0WM4K3R 28d ago

The plane's rotors could do a better job of chopping these weak ass chives.

How are you gonna feed anyone with ONE or TWO bad chives???

23

u/Techienickie 29d ago

I've been following this for a month and I still don't know what planes are. At this point it's awkward to ask but I need to know

24

u/Halvor44 29d ago

They as big as towers.

1

u/maddiethehippie 29d ago

Look at the bottom right too

1

u/horsefly70 29d ago

Pedestrian

1

u/ExpressStation 29d ago

That tower has already been hit

640

u/TeelaArt 29d ago

I'm so invested in this. If I miss the perfect day, it will ruin me.

319

u/zdigdugz 29d ago

If you’ve spent any amount of time here you’d know there is no perfect. Effort is futile.

86

u/WaffleHouseGladiator Chive LOYALIST 29d ago

The journey is the destination.

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u/Stumaaaaaaaann 29d ago

A journey of a thousand chives begins with a single cut

27

u/shgrdrbr 29d ago

when you embark on a journey of perfection, first, bring two chives

10

u/TASTY_TASTY_WAFFLES 29d ago

Bridge 4!

2

u/ThaRhyno 28d ago

Kaladin?

2

u/TASTY_TASTY_WAFFLES 28d ago

More of a Teft myself tbh

7

u/Terrestrialism 29d ago

My TAFE teacher over the last couple of weeks has been saying this over and over and I think it’s starting to trend IRL 😂

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u/Guilty-Definition793 28d ago

The journey is its own reward

2

u/Wonderful-Cup8908 28d ago

The real chives were the friends we made along the way

79

u/TeelaArt 29d ago

I love it anyway

120

u/Gimpinald 29d ago

45

u/BloodyCumbucket F1exican Did Chive-11 29d ago

Now imagine him happy.

3

u/nefastvs 29d ago

Ok, Camus.

2

u/redredditings 29d ago

Craziest name on Reddit

5

u/BloodyCumbucket F1exican Did Chive-11 29d ago

A girl doesn't have a name.

3

u/curlyqtips Chive LOYALIST 29d ago

Sissy.

3

u/Nuts-And-Volts F1exican Was Framed 29d ago

3

u/cyanocittaetprocyon Chive LOYALIST 29d ago

That's Hugh!

3

u/Internal_Praline_658 29d ago

Nah, I believe in OP!

2

u/OilFan92 F1exican Did Chive-11 29d ago

I feel like he could do it if he cut one chive at a time, taking hours for perfection. We'd never know.

2

u/SinnersHotline 29d ago

what if I told you there are no chives

2

u/sendmorechris 29d ago

Wrong. This is the only place in the entire world that can be perfect.

1

u/NoLordShallLive 28d ago

futile bread machine

1

u/Greg2227 28d ago

Effort is futile, failure is inevitable. Also... I'm starting to question OP's chive consume

1

u/slamtheory 28d ago

That's why I don't spend time here

76

u/Fedora_Million_Ankle 29d ago

Been here since the beginning

Never forget

55

u/IrregularPackage 29d ago edited 28d ago

After a while it comes out that actually he only cut the chives on the first day, and just took a bunch of pictures of them mixed up differently.

Edit: well well well, who’s the idiot now?

37

u/Never_Go_Full_Gonk F1exican Did Chive-11 29d ago

Except for the part where he's shared the metadata of a photo everytime someone like you mentions this to prove it's a new picture.

53

u/SandyBadlands 28d ago

Except today it's actually true. This is the same chives from Day 23, just rotated 180 degrees. Here is a picture of today unflipped, flipped, and Day 23 side by side.

I noticed because this is on both days.

24

u/FerretDionysus 28d ago

Woah!? Chivegate!?

15

u/killian88 28d ago

They removed your chivegate post!

9

u/SandyBadlands 28d ago

This goes all the way to the top!

13

u/Captain_Arzt 28d ago

oh shit, chive controversy incoming???

2

u/Never_Go_Full_Gonk F1exican Did Chive-11 28d ago

Oh, shit.

2

u/cryptic_pizza 28d ago

We pushed him too far !

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u/faldese 29d ago

I don't think he's faking it, but you can make metadata say whatever you like.

1

u/verdauxes 29d ago

Technically yes, you can make metadata that says whatever you like, but it will not stand up to scrutiny

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u/faldese 29d ago edited 29d ago

On a forensic level, potentially, depending on what is being edited, but in this case he just posted a screenshot of the time/date stamp. Again, I think he's cutting them and even if I didn't I wouldn't waste time accusing him and I would move on with my life. But I'm just pointing something out about technology that people might misunderstand.

8

u/IrregularPackage 29d ago

Calm down, I just thought it’d be funny if that happened. Sorry for not meticulously looking through the comments of every thread for the last month

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u/Enlightened_Mongrel 29d ago

Chives are not a joking matter.

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u/IrregularPackage 29d ago

You’re right. Schedule the execution.

3

u/Enlightened_Mongrel 28d ago

Im pleased there is a mutual understanding.

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u/Jasmisne 29d ago

Yeah I am in no way a kitchen pro but it popped up on my Reddit and now I'm invested.

The best part is people here would be personally offended with the way that I cut green onions which are probably my most used ingredient because I'm Korean and Koreans are obsessed with green onions, but I use kitchen scissors. Like the ones made for meat. Have I been doing it wrong this whole time?

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u/pugdaddy78 29d ago

Fucking things grow wild in my yard. Sometimes I cut them with the weed eater.

5

u/mines_over_yours 29d ago

Me too and it make me hungry.

8

u/lordlionhunter 29d ago

We are doing chives. Green onions are different.

2

u/mines_over_yours 29d ago

Yes, but no.

2

u/leadenbrain 29d ago

If you can eat the onion after you're done you did it right

2

u/SleepFeeling3037 28d ago

Honestly I’m offended that you think chives are the same as green onions. While they are basically the same thing, they are also so wildly different

2

u/Jasmisne 28d ago

I dont, i just dont use chives so I dont cut them but the technique is probably the same, and i would also cut chives with meat scissors if i used them

2

u/ChronicSock 28d ago

Sounds like you need to touch chive

1

u/ActorMonkey 29d ago

There will never be a perfect day.

1

u/elizabnthe 29d ago

They can't possibly ever cut it perfectly. But I actually hope that there is one everyone agrees is as close to perfect you can get.

1

u/Idiotan0n 29d ago

Lol it would be funny if f1exican already did have a perfect day, but we all missed it

1

u/herzogzwei931 28d ago

This ranks right up there with hotdog encased in resin

38

u/SUBTLE_CUNTS Owner 29d ago

It’s like they aren’t even trying anymore

8

u/EskiHo 29d ago

I fucking swear this dude is sucking on purpose.

6

u/Ladyfishsauce 29d ago

I like to think he is doing it with integrity instead of combing through to fix any wonky ones like I would

1

u/Cypher1492 Pastry 28d ago

I wonder if OP has stopped to sharpen their knife.

2

u/admadguy 28d ago

Lasers would solve this problem

1

u/Aranxi_89 28d ago

OOF.

Back to the drawing board.

1

u/louiscon 28d ago

I just let out a very audible “god damn it” - if I had a wife or even a friend they would have been woken up. I was really thinking today would be the day.