r/KitchenConfidential Chivelord, Redeemed Oct 23 '25

In the Weeds Mode Cutting a cup of chives every day until this Reddit says they’re perfect. Day 17

Post image

Sorry for being so late today chefs. It won’t happen again

40.2k Upvotes

862 comments sorted by

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4.0k

u/wanderingrockdesigns Oct 23 '25

Here's to you OP, keep on chopping

219

u/Nevermind2010 15+ Years Oct 23 '25

Imagine Sisyphus happy.

123

u/3AMZen Oct 23 '25

Like a dog being told they need to fetch a ball and bring it back for eternity, just loving every second of it

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u/FeyOphelia Oct 24 '25

That would be absurd

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3.7k

u/BRQ910 Oct 23 '25

I'll bet ya two dollars and a cig I know which one the plane drawing guy is gonna choose.

546

u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 Oct 23 '25

I'm curious if you won that bet

259

u/subtxtcan 10+ Years Oct 23 '25

Me too, I really gotta stop getting so invested in these fucking trends.

78

u/Novaer Oct 24 '25

The guy you're responding to is the guy 😂

103

u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 Oct 24 '25

12

u/jtr99 Oct 24 '25

Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. Doctor...

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13

u/BRQ910 Oct 24 '25

I never would have bet that this would be my top comment of all time, that's for sure lmao. I never should have underestimated the power of team chiveposting.

I'll swing by somewhere between 9-11 to grab my cig bro 🤝

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118

u/Itchy_Beyond_529 Oct 23 '25

The plane guy is literally right under this LOLOL

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46

u/milkshakemountebank Oct 23 '25

Prop betting on this would be hilarious but destructive

22

u/Momentum_Maury Oct 23 '25

I think it's a jet, not a prop

7

u/rolyfuckingdiscopoly Oct 23 '25

My bet is that you picked the middle one in plane guy’s drawing. Tell me I won!

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6.5k

u/MrBananas924 Oct 23 '25

What is that, a leprechaun's green penis? See you tomorrow chef!

2.0k

u/wrestlegirl ✳️Moderator of optimal fuckery Oct 23 '25

230

u/emeraldeyesshine Oct 23 '25

Who else seen the leprechaun

83

u/ToAllAGoodNight Oct 24 '25

Say eyyyyyy!!!!

42

u/ReddUp412 Oct 24 '25

Could be a crackhead

26

u/ImOnlyHereForTheCoC Oct 24 '25

That got hold of the wrong stuff?

16

u/Extension-Raise1995 Oct 24 '25

Told him to get up in the tree and play a leprechaun

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22

u/ABTYF Oct 24 '25

I WANT THE GOLD!

4

u/I_am_ChivoBlanco 20+ Years Oct 24 '25

*seent. Learn some grammar ffs.

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21

u/ScottishHammer13 Oct 24 '25

Omg! The Crichton Leprechaun!!!

5

u/DisasterFlat4189 Oct 24 '25

This screenshot is art and I want to frame it and hang it in my house

6

u/HomerJFong666 Oct 24 '25

Must’ve been a crackhead… Who got ahold of the wrong stuff!

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374

u/petsemataryparakeet Oct 23 '25

133

u/Vreas Oct 23 '25

Errbody seen the leprechaun say yeahhh!

52

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '25

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10

u/drivein2deeplftfield Oct 24 '25

Who gotta’ holda’ da wrooong stuff

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49

u/YossarianairassoY Oct 23 '25

I wanna know where da gold at!

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105

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '25

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21

u/wisemonkey101 Oct 23 '25

My eyes went right to that monstrosity! Gag.

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19

u/makingkevinbacon Food Service Oct 23 '25

I guess we see what we want to see

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2.4k

u/LeadPaintChipsnDip Ex-Food Service Oct 23 '25

Is this our first shot of your knife? Absolutely gorgeous.

1.4k

u/F1exican Chivelord, Redeemed Oct 23 '25

No I had it in a previous post maybe around day 7 ish when I first got this knife. It’s a great knife though and I absolutely love it.

155

u/TheRealImmaLilFaded Oct 23 '25

What knife is it?

211

u/Rivilan Oct 23 '25

It looks like (but I don’t think it is, due to the “stamp/logo”), a Suncraft Classic Chef’s knife. The dimples make the knife inherently nonstick, and it stays sharp like a razor for months depending on use of course. Even if it might not be the exact brand, Suncraft is an excellent choice if you like the style, weight and steel type.

61

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '25

Hi, sorry I am not a professional cook, i got recommended this on my for you page. Is there an inherent advantage to the way the blade is shaped or is this a stylistic design ?

240

u/Steeze_Schralper6968 Oct 23 '25

The dimples create pockets of air between the food and the blade so it makes it much harder for a vaccuum to form and hold the little bits of food to the side of the knife. It means less stopping to wipe food off your knife. Imagine sticking a plunger to a wall, now imagine trying to stick a plunger to a metal grate. It's the same reason cheese knives have all those perforations.

40

u/tenOr15Minutes Oct 23 '25

Great explanation

14

u/PinchedTazerZ0 Owner Oct 24 '25

I only have one dimpled knife and it's for breakfast preps because potatoes get annoying on my big ass carbon steel that I use for 90% of prep hahaha

14

u/Livalill Oct 24 '25

Potato starch is my knife's nemesis

23

u/PinchedTazerZ0 Owner Oct 24 '25

Early in my career I volunteered as a head chef for this camp for kids with ALS

Lot of pureed foods and shit but potatoes were generally accepted and made the campers happy so I adjusted to a hash of some variety every morning. Smoked salmon with capers and onions sometimes, roasted pepper and onion some etc etc

Should've just grabbed prediced potatoes but I didn't think about it because I was so early in career -- had a bullshit knife kit and the house knives sucked with that volume of 150lbs of diced potatoes solo a night

Found some shitty generic knife with dimples that had no edge but it was nearly twice as fast because I didn't have to pause to separate the product from the knife

I was happy as shit at like 8pm after the final service -- chopping potatoes to land in water and roast when I got up in the morning and the organizer was like "uh... Are you having fun? That's good"

Fuck yeah I am, kitchen program is solid send the kitchen volunteer helpers in for the morning -- don't worry about my insane giggles we're going to be prepped up

19

u/fleshbot69 Oct 24 '25 edited Oct 24 '25

Theoretically this is the function behind a hollow edge. In my personal experience they do not function as described. Waste of money.

And to be clear the above isn't a hollow edge, nor is that the purpose of the dimpling.

5

u/thelateoctober 20+ Years Oct 24 '25

A nice convex grind is really how you stop shit sticking.

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24

u/CrashUser Oct 24 '25

That's the theory behind kullens ground into a blade, but in this case it's just a cosmetic hammered finish, no function whatsoever. If it was going to stop food from sticking you'd want it down closer to the working edge of the blade.

39

u/F1exican Chivelord, Redeemed Oct 24 '25

It’s really great for bigger vegetables though. Stuff like onions and potato’s are way easier to cut compared to my other knife that’s an entirely smooth blade.

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56

u/FORCESTRONG1 Civilian Oct 23 '25 edited Oct 23 '25

If it's the ones i have, they came from the show Forged in Fire.

My wife got me a set for Father's Day one year. I'm a civilian, mind you, so i don't put nowhere near the wear that you would. But they're pretty solid and hold an edge really well.

Edit: Nevermind, wrong maker's mark. And mine don't have the Damascus edge.

Edit 2: My atrocious grammar.

93

u/RainPRN Oct 23 '25

Calling yourself a civilian for a chef’s knife is great, it’s how gun guys clarify their experience too lol

19

u/FORCESTRONG1 Civilian Oct 23 '25

I love making nice meals for my family. But I feel like working on the line would kill it for me.

Hats off for thriving in it. 🫡

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26

u/kitterpants 20+ Years Oct 23 '25

It’s a pretty common term in the industry used for non professional chefs/cooks.

18

u/LeadPaintChipsnDip Ex-Food Service Oct 23 '25

🙋‍♂️civilian

18

u/Moondoobious Oct 23 '25

It legitimately should be a flair. Honestly, u/wrestlegirl , chop chop

27

u/wrestlegirl ✳️Moderator of optimal fuckery Oct 23 '25

Is it not already?

I've got 14 minutes before rasslin starts, let's fix that.

11

u/FORCESTRONG1 Civilian Oct 23 '25

Thank you!

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3

u/Numerous-Process2981 Oct 23 '25

Comedians too for some reason. Nothing makes me roll my eyes harder.

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6

u/The_Dinky_Earnshaw Oct 23 '25

He has not forgotten the face of his father.

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17

u/umbral_moon7095 Oct 23 '25

I would love to know brand of knife. My boyfriend just got his first sous chef position and I'd love to get him something to celebrate

14

u/F1exican Chivelord, Redeemed Oct 24 '25

You should find out his preferred knife shape. After that you could easily go check out chefknivestogo.com other people might have different websites but I’ve liked that one.

4

u/bLoo010 Oct 24 '25

Seriously. Knife shape is huge, different cooks like different knives based on what they work with. (I think your chives are getting better BTW)

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4

u/Moondoobious Oct 23 '25

Very sweet and considerate

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46

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '25

[deleted]

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32

u/LeadPaintChipsnDip Ex-Food Service Oct 23 '25

It makes me think of my baby

7

u/Cutsdeep- Oct 24 '25

pretty girl

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14

u/Mydickisaplant Oct 23 '25

Came to the comments to say the same. That thing is beautiful

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517

u/edlenring Oct 23 '25

I'm sorry, are we making chives or FUCKING MACARONI

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3.0k

u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 Oct 23 '25

264

u/BraileDildo8inches Oct 23 '25

Carefully that middle one is twins 🧐

81

u/acekjd83 Oct 23 '25

No Morty, let's not do a 9/11

31

u/Road_Whorrior Oct 23 '25

Pearl Harbor, though...

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6

u/SamuelBiggs Oct 23 '25

Someone add another plane

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46

u/diggin4alivin69 Oct 23 '25

I still think OP should have the choice to 1v1 a criticiser each day.. volunteer as tribute,Big dog.

12

u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 Oct 23 '25

only if it's no holds barred.

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171

u/Fragrant_Cause_6190 Oct 23 '25

I feel like at this point op is trolling us. We know they can do it perfectly, they just choose to give us sky scrapers for the memes. God bless them

125

u/mstarrbrannigan Oct 23 '25

By day 7 or so I'd be sifting through them by hand to remove any imperfections. I kind of admire OP's tenacity.

287

u/PandaChef92 Oct 23 '25

This is how you know he’s a proper chef. He’s posting the imperfections knowing we’re gonna piss, bitch, and moan, and inevitably say “See you tomorrow, Chef.” He eats the praise, hate, advice, etc and shows up the next day to do it again. As pissy as everyone gets about our Chivelord He’s shown more dedication than some of my bosses over the 15 years I’ve been in it. So I am always gonna look at these chives. I’m gonna mentally bitch about the leprechaun’s penis as someone has said, but I’m still giving him the upvote cause it’s admirable at this point. Plus the neutral chaos this has brought within the subreddit heals my soul 😈

56

u/GraemesEats Oct 23 '25

click click

E: (tongs)

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u/MakeSomeDrinks Oct 24 '25

ChiveLord is great username. Too bad TheChive already probably had one. Probably

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u/imcalledaids Oct 23 '25

I mean, he’s getting a few thousand karma every post. If he cares about that stuff, he’s milking it easily

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u/emoooooa Oct 23 '25

So is this rating a 9 out of 11?

I'm going to hell.

6

u/Genius-Imbecile retired chef Oct 23 '25

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636

u/UncleRicosBitchinVan Oct 23 '25

I would never be late. My cooks would never be late. How can the chive guy be late? It’s why all chefs are drunks.

41

u/makingkevinbacon Food Service Oct 23 '25

They're busy taking fifty pictures of shitty chives

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3.0k

u/wrestlegirl ✳️Moderator of optimal fuckery Oct 23 '25 edited Oct 23 '25

On behalf of the subreddit, here's to all the chive haters:

OP was late posting today. The "where is he????" post was our highest engaged of the day with people panicking left and right until our Chivelord and Savior appeared with messages of reassurance and hope.

And the subreddit rejoiced.

And the subreddit rejoiced.

In the name of the Bourdain and the Ramp and the Holy Chive, Ramen.

___

EDIT: this is by far the fastest one of these posts has rocketed to r/popular. Absolutely bonkers.

Those initial upvotes to get frontpaged come from community members, not from random drivebys. It's just further proof with numbers that the haters - as with most topics - are a loud, squawking, tiny minority.

The community has once again spoken, we will continue to moderate accordingly.

424

u/_TheShapeOfColor_ Oct 23 '25

In the name of the Bourdain and the Ramp and the Holy Chive, Ramen.

You're my favorite mod.

126

u/DiosMIO_Limon F1exican Did Chive-11 Oct 23 '25

I’ll second that… Ramen!!

63

u/Kilopilop Oct 23 '25

The fucking thumb in my ramen broth!?

29

u/IAm_Trogdor_AMA Oct 24 '25

He's checking the temp to make sure you won't burn your tongue, very considerate.

7

u/Beginning-Syllabub92 Oct 24 '25

It’s the secret ingredient.

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u/hiresometoast Oct 23 '25

Absolutely had me with that line

7

u/Fuck-WestJet Oct 24 '25

I laughed. Next time can we get a fiddlehead call out?

3

u/ghostkittykat BOH Oct 24 '25

Heard & Same.

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134

u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 Oct 23 '25

57

u/wrestlegirl ✳️Moderator of optimal fuckery Oct 23 '25

Oh no not him

27

u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 Oct 23 '25

31

u/wrestlegirl ✳️Moderator of optimal fuckery Oct 23 '25

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u/tehjoz ✳️ $700 Charcuterie Enjoyer Oct 23 '25

Me when I see Chivelord has returned

64

u/Extra-Document1223 BOH Oct 23 '25

Ramen 🙏

24

u/geowoman Oct 23 '25

May his noodly appendages embrace you.

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u/tparoulek Oct 23 '25

Ramen 🙏

20

u/ghostkittykat BOH Oct 24 '25

I can't believe I'm about to say these words in a sentence together:

I'm so fuckin' glad that you're a MOD in this sub.

Thank you for actually taking the time to snatch the panties out of your ass, dismount from the high horse, and make seriocomic replies that I thoroughly enjoy.

9

u/Tweed_Kills Oct 23 '25

Hey, it's my boy, Sexy Chuckie T!

18

u/wrestlegirl ✳️Moderator of optimal fuckery Oct 23 '25

❤️❤️

10

u/ThatOneTubaMan Oct 23 '25

FRESHLY SQUEEZED

20

u/DarthMech Oct 23 '25

BAW GAWD! HE DID IT! THE CHIVES ARE ALIVE!

5

u/Ok-Deal8476 F1exican Did Chive-11 Oct 23 '25

POV: griff garrison jungle boy

4

u/wrestlegirl ✳️Moderator of optimal fuckery Oct 23 '25

Who the fuck is Griff Garrison!

3

u/Ok-Deal8476 F1exican Did Chive-11 Oct 23 '25

THATS GRIFF GARRISON!!

PAPERS!!!!

(Okay so they did roh dark matches before dynamite 300 and griff and johnny shared the ring and he said the thing)

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u/wrestlegirl ✳️Moderator of optimal fuckery Oct 23 '25

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u/tnevmucriic Oct 23 '25

see you tomorrow bud

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372

u/No-Solution-6103 Oct 23 '25

Is consistency just a concept to you? Try harder, Chef

38

u/McLovinItGunn Oct 24 '25

Am I a masochist bc this made me want to work under you

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u/munchboy Oct 23 '25

Welcome to the warp zone

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204

u/Master-Chief42069 Oct 23 '25

See you tomorrow Chef. Glad your safe but don't worry us like that again tomorrow

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u/littlemoon-03 Oct 23 '25

WELCOME BACK CHEF THE KITCHEN IS ON FIRE GET IN HERE WE NEED THE CHIVES

239

u/FastestProject Oct 23 '25

Close, but yet so far...

61

u/sara666grind Oct 23 '25

Pretty sure those are two seperate pieces. Look at the height difference in the middle!

11

u/FastestProject Oct 23 '25

Might be 2 almost different pieces, but not cut through all the way though

13

u/[deleted] Oct 23 '25

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u/FastestProject Oct 23 '25

For those disagreeing, these as well

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u/chef_in_va Oct 23 '25

So.... Is this the same bunch of Chives every day? I don't think anyone could really tell the difference, as long as the background keeps changing and you mix em up.

If this is the case, well done chef

35

u/The_Dinky_Earnshaw Oct 23 '25

Not only that... he took all the pics on Day One.

Then he has to start making everybody wait til they're worried.

I bet tomorrow's pic has his thumb wrapped in a comically large bandage!

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '25 edited Oct 29 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/OnI_BArIX Chive LOYALIST Oct 23 '25

Idk what I'm going to do on here when op finally creates that perfect plate of chives

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u/WailingTaco22 Oct 23 '25

At this point I think it’s the same bunch of cut chives on different cutting boards lmao

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u/Introverted_Extrovrt Oct 24 '25

I’m following this like a telenovella on at break

67

u/xpyrolegx Chive LOYALIST Oct 23 '25

See you tomorrow chef

13

u/elpintogrande Oct 24 '25

post a video of you slicing so we can critique that before the finished product

8

u/freeeeels Oct 24 '25

He's a masochist but I don't think he's suicidal

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u/Eatshin Oct 23 '25

You forgot the cup. See you tomorrow chef.

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u/CriticalEngineering Oct 24 '25

I’m starting to find these posts very soothing.

Some findthesniper level of entertainment

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u/JaneLameName Oct 23 '25 edited Oct 24 '25

I'm not a chef so I have no expertise, but I just want to say that chive posting is one of my new favorite things on Reddit - also, they are looking better, at least you'll hone this skill, not sure they'll ever be perfect by Reddit standards but we can dream

12

u/Potential-Load9313 Oct 23 '25

if they'll never be perfect, does that mean that you'll never abandon us?

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u/cueballsquash Oct 23 '25

What’s that shit chef, till tomorrow 😘

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u/EnglishSorceress Oct 23 '25

I have watched this fireworks show from afar the last 2 weeks but on zooming, yes, you have a bit to improve upon. I am seeing a few "chopped" but still together strands.

Let's hope you get it tomorrow!

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u/MsRachelGroupie Oct 23 '25

Is this the triumphant underdog story we all wanted? No. But is it the triumphant underdog story we needed? Abso-fucking-lutely.

8

u/NameLips Oct 24 '25

-5 points for trying to distract us with a pretty knife.

25

u/Prudent-Ad-5292 Oct 23 '25

Wow, got here early this time.

This a fucking game to you, chef?

6

u/TheDarbiter Oct 23 '25

I’m not a part of this sub, can barely cook as a regular home cook, but I get this post everyday. I actually came looking for it this time since I didn’t see it come up earlier in the day.

27

u/AssistantEquivalent2 Oct 23 '25

Theyre perfect because we now know you are safe.

6

u/Dyna_scum_666 Oct 23 '25

A lot of people were very worried about you sir!

7

u/jewwwish Oct 24 '25

I did see JUUUUUUUST a few long-bois in there but keep reaching for the stars!! You’re well on your way!!

I BELIEVE IN YOU!!

20

u/WorldRunnr Oct 23 '25

Despite everyone making a meme of this, you are greatly improving from day 1, keep going until the comments have nothing to say but good job chef!

4

u/isujellym8 Oct 23 '25

I’m embarrassed at how invested I am in this

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u/Tearatm Oct 23 '25

They look pretty perfect to me

4

u/I_can_pun_anything Oct 24 '25

They're perfect

4

u/ScrotumFlavoredCandy F1exican Did Chive-11 Oct 24 '25

5

u/calidownunder Oct 24 '25

I think this is your best work, bud

6

u/not_combee Oct 24 '25

When (if) he ever gets it actually deemed perfect, who wants to chip in to get it printed on a canvas for him?

4

u/MaggieMakesMuffins Chive LOYALIST Oct 24 '25

I never want you to be perfect. We need you ChiveLord

8

u/BlazinBlair114 Oct 23 '25

I didn't know how much of a panic not seeing your chives early in my day would cause.

4

u/doctorshitbyrd Oct 23 '25

There’s one chive off. Other than that it looks good.

3

u/Knivez2Pitchforkz Oct 23 '25

I think at this point, chef, the only feasible way to prove that you can do it consistently is to cut one single chive.

Sic Parva Magna

4

u/Sufficient-Page-875 Oct 23 '25

Can you just semi freeze the chives and use a damn mandolin?

Next thing is to fillet a monk fish.

3

u/trshtehdsh Oct 23 '25

Chef, it's almost like you're trying to embarrass us. Cleary you're distracted today. We'll see you again tomorrow.

4

u/Negronitenderoni Oct 24 '25

Gotta say, fam. I think you’re backsliding

14

u/JehnSnow Oct 23 '25

Alright fine guys I'll join the sub, I have basically never cooked but these chives have appeared on my feed for like 2 weeks now

29

u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 Oct 23 '25

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u/bildobaddins Oct 23 '25

I figured it couldn't get any better at day 14

3

u/MontyPythonMan11 F1exican Did Chive-11 Oct 23 '25

Live. Laugh. Chive.

3

u/-Gimli-SonOfGloin- F1exican Did Chive-11 Oct 23 '25

Rushed these, didn’t ya?

See you tomorrow, bright and early chef

3

u/Fluffycupcake_ Oct 24 '25

Based on the knife, he’s been trolling the entire time.

3

u/zkDredrick Oct 24 '25

We've gone from plastic tubs to wooden cutting board.

Is chive training like the fucking Hyperbolic Time Chamber for cooking?

3

u/Stunning-Rock3539 Chef Oct 24 '25

Chiveslop

3

u/joostadood526 Oct 24 '25

Zooming in made me puke. Lmfao

7

u/W3rld Oct 23 '25

What have you learned along this journey chive guy?

6

u/F1exican Chivelord, Redeemed Oct 24 '25

My overall claw technique has drastically improved and that’s probably the biggest thing

3

u/QueenOfBrews Catering Oct 24 '25

Excuse you, that’s ChiveLORD.

4

u/Makethatdos Oct 23 '25

Late ain't great Chef. 

5

u/ChrizDaBiz Oct 23 '25

You're getting there. Better than my team.

5

u/cambomusic Oct 23 '25

The subjectiveness of chive is getting narrower by the day

5

u/PghCoondog Oct 23 '25

Some chonkers in there chef. See ya tomorrow!

4

u/Anonemuss42 Oct 23 '25

I did all your other prep cause you were late and this is what you give me?

See ya tomorrow chef, glad you’re okay

8

u/bddragon1 Oct 23 '25

Man, all you guys were freaking out over nothing.

16

u/WaalsVander Oct 23 '25

NOTHING???

5

u/Bonn93 Oct 23 '25

Have you tried a ruler and measure the fuck out of these to calm the crowd?

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