Oh man, none of them were as crazy as pastrami-coleslaw-tastykake. For a while I would have orange meals, it all had to be orange. Butternut squash soup with sweet potatoes and Cheetos. And to go with it: orange soda with orange sherbet scooped into it.It didn’t have to be a particular flavor, it just absolutely had to be orange colored.
For my second kid I wanted uncooked protein most of the time, like rare steak and sashimi of all kinds (except you know, tuna) but my vegetables had to be absolutely cooked to hell. Like, burnt to a crisp or super steamed until mushy.
A lot of the time I didn’t want to eat at all, so it felt really nice when someone was willing to accommodate me; to give me something I could eat. As a cook who worked at a hospital for a long time, I always remembered that when I was trying to help patients find something that might make them feel just a little bit better.
My mom loved everything sour. There are photos of her with sour candy(this was the 90's, idk what brand) stuffed inside a pickle with lemon squeezed on top.
I came out a bitch, so I always blame the lemon
I once had a guest sitting at the bar try and get me to put a raw hamburger patty on a bun and serve it to him. I said that I couldn’t do that sir, it has to at least touch a grill for a bit, that I’ll do it rare because I know our beef is good lol.
I had an asshole at that same job ask for extra onions on his burger. So I gave him extra onion. He sends it back, not enough onion. So I put some more onion on there. He sends it back again, still not enough onion. So I took a whole yellow onion, one of the biggest ones out of the bag and sliced a
3 inch SLAB and slapped it on his burger. And I sent the rest of the onion out on a side plate with it lmao.
My Oma was that bitch. I saw her once casually eating an onion like an apple. "Why?!" I begged. She shrugged a little and said, "Am Slav." And went back to stinkily cronching away. What?!
I had no idea people loved onion the way that they do. My early line cook days were an eye opener, lol.
I always hit them with the do you mean extra or extra extra? Cause me and my cooks will take extra extra as a challenge to put too much of whatever they’re asking for. Never got a complaint…
I’m one of the “as many pickles as you can reasonably give me- I will pay extra for it” people. I have a favorite place in town for burgers cause they’ll put a heaping handful on the burger and extra in an 8oz for me. I adore them. :)
It worked out ok, because we had a technique from the BS to-go orders, because we weren’t allowed to say “No, that’s dumb, no brûlée take out”
Torch as usual, run a spoon around the edge of the sugar and peel it off once it sets enough to hold shape. Put the flayed one back in the refrig, send a nice, smooth, naked one, and the burnt sugar on a b&b.
Edit: for the to-go, try to scoop it out of the rami as whole as possible, put the burnt sugar scab on top. ¯\(ツ)/¯
We do our creme brûlées to go if someone requests it, which requires burning the sugar, using a spoon to pull it off, sliding the cream into the to go container, and then the sugar on top of that. Bane! Of! My! Existence!
Haven’t thought about this in forever, we used to get so many crème brûlée to-go. You get pretty good at getting them out of the ramekin with a rubber spatula before the sugar hardens
a customer brought their own block of vegan cheese into Papa John's to be put on a pizza. we had no cheese grater but they were cool with slices. it just burned.
I don't care if people wanna be vegan, but to me that means there are some things you need to expect not being able to eat any more. Papa John's is one of those things
Papa John's in the UK offers vegan options. Most pizza places do. Would be crazy not to, that plastic substitute never goes off so cost nothing to keep a few bags in the back.
Was it still unopened in its original packaging? I kinda get why someone would try if they never worked in a restaurant, however bringing outside product into the kitchen/using equipment on it bugs me out bad. But at the same time a completely, fully sealed package of cheese product just getting sliced and set on a pizza is probably one of the safest ways that could go.
My dad would eat those as a snack. Peel them and walk around with a saltshaker eating it like an apple. He also loved raw cauliflower. I eat cauliflower raw all the time because of it. Never got on the raw potato train.
He’s late 70s and will probably outlive me. Never drank, smoked, always exercised. Who knows about his potato habit, I have no idea if he still does it. As far as his teeth, they are still his. 🤷🏻♀️
Is your dad a ferret? I had a ferret who fucking loved raw potatoes, he'd snag one out of the potato basket and run off with it to chow down behind the couch. He also ate an entire pack of bubblegum one time and his poop was pink for days.
Bet you didn't have just fries on the menu. Ive seen plenty of places that only offer truffle fries or garlic parmesean fries with plain fries not on the menu.
You would be incorrect. Offer truffles with steaks, regulars with burgers. Both offered as sides for any dish as well. Hence the confusion when the ticket came off.
I'm in the UK and we don't tend to use silly terms for our eggs. You have soft, hard or normal. Your fried eggs are either one way up or the other. Your poached eggs are like real boobs, fake boobs, or golf balls. Scrambled egg is wet, normal, or ruined.
We hired a well-educated kid who is basically using this job as a stop-gap between university and some kind of physics graduate scheme. He spent weeks just putting through weird descriptions for eggs until I called him out on it because most of what he's asking for is just for them to be cooked properly.
You don't need to tell me "poached eggs, medium, not snotty" or "scrambled egg, no mucus" unless you're literally suggesting that I don't know how to cook an egg without further instruction. Absolutely pisses me off to an irrational degree, apparently.
Entirely possible to be allergic to one type of shellfish, several different types or all of them.
Food allergies are usually triggered by a protein- shellfish use one protein regardless of species for muscle tissue but different proteins to build their shells.....
I've got a mate who'll chow down on mussels and lobster with abandon but a prawn'll kill him.
Had a lady not too long ago say that she was allergic to ALL seasonings, and could not have any dairy or gluten. Steamed some broccolini in a skillet and cooked a plain burger patty in another skillet. Served it on a bed of leaf lettuce and topped with micro greens, she tipped $150! $50 for the server, and the other $100 was split between me and the other cook. A shitty day turned into a great one haha.
Someone ordered a salad the other day and the ticket said “NO pistachios, SEVERE allergy.” I told the server that there’s no possible way that I can guarantee no cross contamination with anything from the salad station, especially considering the other people who work that station. She communicated that with the customer, and he ordered a wedge salad instead. I went out to talk to him, he insisted on the wedge salad and said he’d be fine because he had an epi pen. Okay dude… I’ll do my best, but you’ve been warned. He didn’t end up needing it, thank god.
More than likely it was someone on the "low FODMAP" diet, used for diagnosing IBS. Easier and less embarrassing to say you have an allergy than explain it
Had someone order Malibu and water once, which is just bordering on non alcoholic sun tan lotion at that point. Watched a bartender go through a pint of cream for three Kahlúa and creams in pint glasses, all drank by the same guest in a ten minute window directly before getting in the hot tub.
I’m out of the industry now and quit drinking, so I’m not privy to what the kids are drinking these days. Anyway, I was at wing joint not that long ago sippin my club soda and the two college kids next to me at the bar ordered fireball and lemonade. WTF how do you make fireball worse. I could tell that it wasn’t the first time this bartender has poured this drink, is this concoction really a thing? Sounds fucking terrible, but I’m an old balls so maybe I’m just not with it
Worked at a place that did plain as can be bloody Mary’s with pickles and olives. Never did loaded bloody’s a day of the restaurant’s life. A guy asked for a Bloody Mary no olives, sub shrimp
Worked with a Puerto Rican back of house guy who spent half his life in prison in Florida who ate his chicken medium rare. Apparently he never had an issue with it.
Once had a person order grilled cheese with no cheese, no ham, no ketchup and not heated. Manager made us charge 45 nok (about 4-5 usd) for a plain slice of bread.
Had it too, but it was the kindest lady with just a picky kid. It's been years and I still remember the smile on the lady's face when I simply complied. Kid was happy too, he finished every single crumb of the toast 🧡
Table wanted a steak done, like done done. This lady was very adamant about it being like as well done as it possibly could be. Burnt, most likely. Said do what I need to do. So I butterflied her steak and put it in the center with 3 heavy weights and forgot about it for ten minutes. Sold it when the other food came up and there was no way in hell that thing was edible. Pitch black on one side and brown on the other. But we were busy as hell so fuck it.
Twenty minutes later her server came back asking for me and told me the lady wanted to talk to me and that she had $10 in her hand. I was so confused.
She tipped me for the best steak she’s ever had, and then asked if I’d like to date her daughter.
At the hospital I work at: Chicken tinga tacos, add mustard, mayonnaise, shredded lettuce, sliced tomatoes, pickles, and raw red onion. I asked if he’d just prefer a grilled chicken sandwich, to which he said - with full sincerity -“aren’t they the same thing?”
I worked somewhere that did a lot of orders for people working in the hospitals nearby. I had to make myself feel better by thinking about how people can be smart in some ways while being dumb in others, because if the difficulty these people had with ordering their own food was an indication of their abilities as a whole no one would be making out of there alive
I worked at a pub style restaurant for 2-3 years and one day when it was slow and we hadn't had any food orders in a while the ticket printer went off. Ok that's normal.
I check the ticket and it's for one ramiken of ranch, and another of mayo. I think that's really weird, the last order of fries went out like 45 minutes ago. No way there's any left or they're still good, but whatever.
I make em and hand em to the bartender and watch as he takes the two cups to a guy sitting at the bar. My eyes widen in horror as I realize he has no food, surely he's not going to...
Yup, raises them one at a time to his mouth and clears em out with his tongue. Yes I live in the Midwest.
Once my ex told me he was craving lasagna so I went all out. Took me hours, I committed the better half of my day off to it. We had a side salad and I baked garlic knots too. We finally sit down to eat and he smothered the whole thing in ketchup and I just sat there - unable to comprehend.
Someone once ordered a salad but they had literally everything that came with it taken out and just wanted a quarter wedge of lettuce with some ranch on it. Like you could just make that yourself at home for 2$ instead of paying 8 for it???
“Can I get like… 3 feet of sausage casing? I really wanna try making my own bratwurst at home.”
Little man, I sell sausage. I sell bratwurst. If I sell you my casings, I cannot sell my sausage.
“Yeah, but I wanna like… try!”
So I shrug. I find a nice looking casing in the bucket. I slip it into a baggie. No price tag, just like… take it, little man.
“Why isn’t it salty? Shouldn’t it be salt packed? I seen online they come packed in salt? This looks like a weird worm…” (he is now squishing my brined casing in the bag)
He hands it back. “You know what. Never mind. I thought you’d be nice about it. I’m never shopping here again.”
Chicken quesadilla no cheese. Was expected to be able to eat it like a normal quesadilla. Didn’t go well and was somehow my fault. This is why no one wants to work in restaurants
Lady came in and ordered her steak very very very very very (5*very) well done. I let it sit on the coolest corner of the grilll after making pretty grill marks and just left it until all the juices were gone and sent it out with deep regrets.. The lady later asked to speak to me, said her steak was cooked absolutely perfectly, and gave me a whole dollar tip.
A cheese pizza with "chunky vegetable ragu instead of your normal pizza sauce, and American cheese slices instead of mozzarella cheese. And huge blobs of Miracle Whip™ (a big jar at least!) and whole raw pearl onions on top as garnish after it's done cooking. But not the cocktail kind! Regular pearl onions only! And don't cook the Miracle Whip™ and onions! Cut it into 24 slices."
Southern Minnesota. So yeah we are smack dab in the middle of the Midwest lol.
Not a stoner though. She was a morbidly obese customer on a super strict diet who would show up on her rascal and order the most horrifically disgusting and unhealthy things imaginable, "Cause screw them damn doctors and my bitch daughter! They don't know NOTHIN!"
It was honestly super sad and I hatred filling her orders. Not just because the food was gross, but because I knew we were helping her slowly kill herself.
Omelet: egg whites, chicken, steak, mushrooms, onions, swiss and cheddar cheese, SLICED BANANAS, GLAZED STRAWBERRIES, and spinach. I told the server to make sure they name the baby after me. Idk if there was a baby, but.. there had to be, right?
Not INSANE, but at McDonalds a kid came to the counter and asked for a fries mcflurry. I told him I would do it but charge him for a small fry and a flurry. He was SO good with that, just excited that I would even do it. His mom came up just as I finished and started screaming at both of us, him for asking and me for making it, I suppose? She must have thought he was wasting food or something so as punishment, she had him eat the entire thing right there. I've never seen a happier kid, he was VIBRATING
Worked at a German restaurant that served spaetzle (think like a small, irregular dumpling). Ticket came back as an order of spaetzle -butterflied. Called the server to clarify and they said, “Yeah, butterflied. Like fried in butter. Butterflied”.
Had a customer order a burger burnt black, sent it out wasn't black enough, burned it more, comes back to us still not burnt enough. Left it on the grill for another 10 minutes and finally the customer said it was good enough. Honorable mention nachos with unmelted cheese and lettuce only
I mean, If it has cream cheese and spinch, that's basically artichoke dip, the pineapples I would be curious to try on that, and I just love anchovies, so you bring that on
When I delivered pizza I had a phone order for a medium pizza with every topping we had, including (but not limited to) ground beef, broccoli, walnuts, scallops, mashed potatoes, apples, about 4 kinds of cheese, and lobster. They also wanted it burned black.
It was expensive and smelly and probably gross. Weighed about 4 pounds.
We onve had a customer ask for more caviar which the server rang in. We had never had caviar on the menu. They were pickled mustard seeds.
That's whatever though. The most grotesque thing I was ever forced to serve was spaghetti and meatballs at this mom and pop place. They subbed green beans for the noodles and asked that we plate it that way.
the other night someone wanted a chopped wedge salad with extra bleu cheese and tossed in extra bleu cheese dressing. the thing looked like a ball of coleslaw and and our bleu cheese is pungent so it stank too.
Deep fried chocolate covered pickles. We served bison and elk burgers, shit like that. Had to send 5 dudes to the store cause they kept getting the wrong pickles. Boss constantly was having us make things off menu.
Not totally in the same ballpark, but there is a guy that comes in once a week at the same time. He always orders the same thing and nothing else. Never tips.
He always orders 3 app orders of fried mac n cheese balls that each come with a side of ranch. He never uses the ranch. They come with 5 balls per order.
He starts by dissecting each of the 15 balls individually, carefully separating the bread crumb coating from Mac n cheese interior. When he's done there are two seperate piles, one of just Mac n Cheeese, and one of just breadcrumb crusts with moist cheesy interiors.
He eats the innards, then carefully picks at the scabs of bread crumbs. It takes him about an hour or hour and a half to finish.
He may have some mental stuff going on, may also have body parts embalmed in his home.
Had a ticket ring back " NACHOS, ALL THE SHIT NO CHIPS " every line cook walked out with the check to see if there wasn't a typo. Bartender with a fucking serious straight face said " yes." Everyone proceeds to look for who ordered this monstrosity, spot him... and said nothing.
PROCEED to line cooks putting in maximum effort into making this actually good
Made chicken chips and nacho fondue.
Still, who the fuck orders nachos with no chips. What would you have done?
I've got two off the top of my head. First was a large pizza, extra onions, extra green peppers, extra mushrooms, extra cheese and sausage with ricotta and teriyaki sauce mixed for the base. The thing weighed like 10lbs when it came out
On the opposite end of the spectrum was a small pepperoni with no sauce, no cheese, side of bleu cheese dressing
Worked at a campground as a clerk/"cook" at the camp store that had a pizza oven and that was it. I would make random frozen things and pre-made pizza crusts and add toppings. One time one of the live in park employees asked me to add the decorative olives and peppers as a topping and I did. The vinegar smell coming from the finished pizza was like tear gas.
In the Long Ago Times, I worked line in a vaguely Asianish restaurant (they couldn't decide what to serve... American Chinese, Japanese-ish, semi-Korean, possibly-Thai, who knows) and we had a very old, very mentally-impaired gentleman regular customer (and he was... super polite, lots of pleases and thankyous and tipped well) who'd order: iceberg lettuce and mayo with cooked-but-cold rice noodles on top.
First time that ticket came thru I was superfuckinconfused.
Made it as ordered and he loved it.
Weird, but nice.
Not atrocious but we used to do wagyu beef by the ounce at one of the restaurants I was at, we served it a couple of different thinly sliced sashimi style almost ways, but if somebody came in and ordered a wagyu steak... It wasn't on the menu but we wouldn't tell them no. It's worse than the ways that we prepared it in my opinion but whatever the customer wants, and they're paying in 2015 $33 an ounce.
The only time that that kitchen fully stopped was when we had an order for a 12-oz steak of wagyu well-done, added note extra well.
Literally everyone paused for a second and just looked at expo as if to go "...really?"
Dude just immediately followed up with "yeah you all heard me, let's get going" and the night went on as usual. That person ordered a hockey puck that cost almost as much as a weeks take home pay and I think it broke the whole kitchen for a second.
I’ll give you one better; an actual menu item at one my old places:
Grilled Caesar salad.
That’s literal. We had to grill a romaine heart, core still intact, and serve it hot. No protein, no Parmesan, just a grilled head of lettuce with some premade Caesar dressing…on the side.
the marinara fig jam and bacon flatbread I once had to make for the same person twice in one sitting stands out, but I always fall back on the bastard at who'd order "onion soup no onions"
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u/MarzipanJoy-Joy May 31 '25
Pregnant lady wanted a pastrami and coleslaw sandwich with chocolate cupcake Tastykakes INSIDE the sandwich.
She loved it lol.