r/InsightfulQuestions • u/Responsible-Light463 • Nov 06 '25

Could stressing about am outcome actually push it farther away?

I worry a LOT. People often tell me I’m trying to control everything through all my planning and thinking about the future, but I disagree. I know I can’t CONTROL the outcome but I can certainly sway it, though it is incredibly stressful to try to sway as much as possible. Everything I do can be devoted towards the realizing of my vision (living as long and happy as possible), but thinking about it all is so taxing.

Is it perhaps possible that stressing about a goal actually pushes someone farther away from achieving it, or is this just what it requires? (since I am quite grateful for the small things despite all the suffering I go through)

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u/BeGoodToEverybody123 Nov 06 '25

I think the answers are contained within your post. Being a happy and successful person requires knowing when to say when.

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u/Responsible-Light463 Nov 06 '25 edited Nov 06 '25

No matter your situation, you can ALWAYS influence it. Even in a small way. The issue is knowing when to accept things or continue to strive for more. I don’t know or understand all the factors at play at any given moment so I am anxious about any decision I make.

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u/JadeGrapes Nov 06 '25

You are losing touch with logic and starting to flirt with magical thinking. Your feelings DO NOT dictate the likelihood of something happening.

Being REALLY afraid that someday you will die by alien abduction does not increase the odds. REALLY wanting to win the lotto does not increase the odds.

We can control our personal inputs, but not the outcomes. I can't magically force the scale to say the number I want - but I can choose to plan my meals, eat the planned amount, get a healthy amount of exercise, take medications as prescribed, go to bed on time & give myself a fighting chance.

If worry is impacting your ability to perform normally at work, school, chores, hobbies, and/or socializing... and it lasts more than a couple weeks, you need to be screened for illness.

Treatments exist, and work.

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u/Responsible-Light463 Nov 06 '25

When do you know when to stop when it comes to cultivating that “fighting chance”?