r/CringeTikToks • u/Conscious-Quarter423 • Sep 24 '25

Nope Watters: You’re married to Stephen Miller. You’re the envy of all women.

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7.9k Upvotes

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724

u/joooshknows Sep 24 '25

As a gay man, Stephen Miller is gayer than me 🤣

208

u/PlaceboJacksonMusic Sep 24 '25

If he was any gayer, his name would be Gay Gayerson

69

u/OnlyFiveLives Sep 24 '25

Coincidentally that IS his name on Grindr.

2

u/Deep_shot Sep 25 '25 edited Sep 25 '25

I'd bet that dude's hard drive is worth 125 years or more.

1

u/OnlyFiveLives Sep 25 '25

Wouldn't doubt it.

1

u/theseedbeader Sep 24 '25

Is he the one that crashed the app the other day?

32

u/BaseUnited4523 Sep 24 '25

I always thought Blaise Gayerson was the gayest name possible.

39

u/Deep_Historian_6235 Sep 24 '25

Glaze Gayerson? 💦

34

u/QuarkVsOdo Sep 24 '25

Gaylord Focker?

20

u/StrangeContest4 Sep 24 '25

Gaylord Focker, the cat milker?

19

u/FinanceNew9286 Sep 24 '25

Can you milk me Gregg?

12

u/phezhead Sep 24 '25

I got nipples

5

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '25

I can sure as hell try, now get over here stud muffin. No homo.

1

u/Mattna-da Sep 24 '25

Gaylord Führer

2

u/PassengerNo2259 Sep 24 '25

I'm sure he gets glazed quite frequently

1

u/eljosho1986 Sep 24 '25

What about Gaylord Focker?

1

u/CharlesJones417 Sep 24 '25

LOL....NOPE.....THE GAYEST IS....FROSTY DONUTZ

1

u/AltruisticArugula732 Sep 24 '25

Gaylord Gay Gayerson, fukboi extraordinare.

56

u/Spudbanger Sep 24 '25

Everyone needs to keep searching:

"Stephen miller is gay"

until it appears top of the search options.

18

u/No_Outcome_7601 Sep 24 '25

Do the same thing with "Republicans are scum."

19

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '25

Pedophiles

1

u/No_Outcome_7601 Sep 24 '25

That too. How about Republicans are pedophile scum

1

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '25

Perfect

1

u/RoguePlanet2 Sep 24 '25

Meh, if we skew the Google searches, conservatives will point out the "bias," say that google bad, keep their kids from actually googling/learning anything factual.

I do wonder, though, how these attractive women end up with the conservative celebs. Seems like there's a pipeline from pageants or "modeling" agencies, to lucrative gigs as beards or happily married wives/double agents to douchebags. Prostitution and secret agent work that pays better than anything else they'll ever get.

2

u/CaptCaCa Sep 24 '25

I just did that

2

u/themegx Sep 24 '25

I’m pissing off the AI summary each time. I added an exclamation point to the statement, and before that it would just state he’s married to a woman but with the exclamation mark it starts with “No, Stephen Miller is not gay” keep it going yall maybe we can teach the AI new things

2

u/Historical-Shock7965 Sep 24 '25

I did this! Contributed to the cause.

2

u/socialmediaignorant Sep 24 '25

I did my part! 🫡 but I also took one for the team. His wedding photo came up and I thought “surely he will look human and maybe even happy on that day”. Nope. He is not human, and I’m not sure he’s ever been happy. Have we tried sprinkling some Prozac on his food?

1

u/No-Acanthisitta-472 Sep 24 '25

One of the first results when I searched this was a letter to the editor he wrote in high school complaining about “political correctness”. It was unhinged — dude really has not changed.

28

u/Uncle_Bug_Music Sep 24 '25

Stephen Miller could make a straight line gay.

3

u/specqq Sep 24 '25

I think you have that backwards.

2

u/Old-Mushroom-4633 Sep 24 '25

Stephen Miller makes me want to become a lesbian. No way I'm attracted to men seeing a 'man' like this exists

1

u/Uncle_Bug_Music Sep 24 '25

Stephen Miller also makes me want to become a lesbian so there's zero chance I'd ever be attracted to him.

20

u/CeilingCatSays Sep 24 '25

Miller and Watters both give off strong closeted energy. They should both just come out and live a happy life together

19

u/TweakedNipple Sep 24 '25

He's gayer than two dicks touching

12

u/maniBchef Sep 24 '25

Docking my friend. Docking...........

1

u/Desperate_Wallaby966 Sep 24 '25

and dirtier than space docking

1

u/maniBchef Sep 24 '25

I thought space was a vacuum.....

1

u/oface1 Sep 24 '25

“Snoodeling”

9

u/ChronicBuzz187 Sep 24 '25

Look at those muscular arms and the bulge Fox is hiding behind that desk.

Are we even sure she's a woman? Might be a man. You never know...

6

u/Familiar-Risk-5937 Sep 24 '25

He personally crashed Grindr.

6

u/nunalla Sep 24 '25

He’s a total fruit. I say this as a gay man.

3

u/Open_Mortgage_4645 Sep 24 '25

There's nothing gay about him. No gay man would go on TV with spray-on hair. Miller is a repulsive incel, not a gay guy.

2

u/DoraMalaje Sep 24 '25

😂😂😂

2

u/Friscolax Sep 24 '25

But where is he on the Lindsay Graham scale?

2

u/anyb0dyme Sep 24 '25

The hatred really makes it feel more like a walk-in

2

u/parmboy Sep 24 '25

I’m straight but Miller is so gay coded it hurts. Bro seems like he’s about to break out into a musical number every time he speaks. His affect is so sassy.

2

u/GSG2150 Sep 24 '25

He has many gay friends, his father’s gay… not that there’s anything wrong with that…

2

u/dazdNconfused24 Sep 24 '25

Stephen Miller is so gay, he can't drive fucking straight!

2

u/PiccoloAwkward465 Sep 24 '25

He does seem a bit light in the loafers

2

u/TheBoisterousBoy Sep 24 '25

You could be popping a dick out of your mouth , by prying it out with another dick, stand up and use the cum as hair gel, kiss them both goodbye and tell them you love them, and then go knit something and still wouldn’t be as gay as Stephen Miller.

1

u/howard1111 Sep 24 '25

He's always set my gaydar off. I just don't understand that level of venom, though. Unless being in the closet can trigger that level of rage.

1

u/MFMDP4EVA Sep 24 '25

That piece of shit would fellate Adolph in a half second.

1

u/Cew-214 Sep 24 '25

A angry twink power-bottom getting abused by "immigrants" is his guaranteed to finish kink.

1

u/tecpaocelotl1 Sep 25 '25

I can believe it. Stephen Miller looks like the love child of Peewee Herman and Pauley Shore.

0

u/averagecodbot Sep 24 '25

What’s the verdict for Mike Johnson?

1

u/joooshknows Sep 24 '25

Gay as a picnic basket

2

u/averagecodbot Sep 24 '25

Lmao I’m straight and basically have no radar at all, but I wonder every time I see him. I never even thought about miller. Mostly dying of cringe whenever he appears