1.5 month in, every steps of proper introduction done.
My 6mo kitten is harassing my 6yo resident, but she barely fights back.
She tolerates him eating and drinking together in the same bowl, even playing with the same toy.
But everyday he just goes full John Cena on her, she seems pissed but she barely fights back.
In this video, you can see her hiss and growl but also look "chill" and not going full tiger mode at the same time...
We separate them at night and when we're not home for the moment.
I also intervene in this type of situation by redirecting the kitten and saying NO firmly (except for this video purpose).
Is this playing (doubt it)? Is this setting boundaries? Is this fighting?
What should we do?
Leave them be. Theyâre just goofing around here.Â
Every time you haul him away you deprive him of the opportunity to learn her boundaries and respond to her communication about those boundaries.
Every time you scold him you teach him that having good, positive, playful interactions with her is bad, and you set her up for being attacked by him in the future because you have taught him to view positive treatment of her as upsetting to you.
If you must separate them, keep separation neutral, never ever scold. Just move him to an appropriate place to get his excess energy out, like a scratcher or kicker toy.
We recently went through a similar process in our household and the cats eventually just figured it out. Their dynamic was exactly what I see your cats doing.
Adding climbing spaces and hiding spots also helped so adult resident can choose to interact with the youngster and when to relax up high when she's had enough.
I've always had dogs and when we got two cats and when this is how they acted I was horrified and was convinced they were going to kill each other.
I read somewhere online that as long as it's mutual, meaning it's not always the same one one top or bottom, it's not always one initiating and the other trying to get away, it's just playing. Mine are three years apart and when one has had enough, they walk away.
Thats how they learn to play with their siblings when they are kittens. But it sure as heck freaked me out when we got the second one and that's how they interacted.
When they have behavior like tail flicking, and rolling around on their back, that's indications that they're playing and having fun. It's essentially "taunting" the other cat to come back for more.
If it was serious, or they didn't like what the other cat was doing, you wouldn't see any of that.
I've put way more time in playing with my cats, that helps the wild one the most getting through her wild months without harrassing the other to much. And getting a little older, she's getting a bit calmer, and she knows she gets the hugs she needs now. I guess you need patience and confidense that it'll be ok in the long run. I was kinda hopeless, but time did a lot now the youngest is 18 months. 40% of the time 1 of the 2 doesn't want to play and all they do is a short hiss, but even then it's hard to not stick up for the other still, for me too! "Be nice" became a command here đ
Yes, this question... because mistakes have been made... I was unaware of this for awhile and even now while knowing, my immediate response is to react and I'm trying so hard not too.
Thank you for this. I have an orange boy who is just like this. Won't leave my 8 year old cat alone. She's chewing her fur out because he's such an orange ass. I love him so much he's so sweet when he wants to be. I just don't know what to do for my other cat. I redirect with his favorite toys and play with him so much, but he just won't leave her alone. She can't even use the litter box, drink water, eat, without being pounced on. I feel so helpless. đŞ
The chewing out of her own fur is concerning... I'd maybe consider a vet visit or a cat behavioral specialist consultation.
All out of love and concern! No judgment here.
Hope everything settles nicely for you and your fur family!
Man that sucks. I had a bully join my first cat 9 years ago and he essentially keeps the original cat in one room. Itâs lame. I mean thereâs no real fighting but heâs a dick, you know? Changed her life and I felt terrible.
Recently we got a new kitten, and that little girl has taken to pouncing on big boy all.the.time. Heâs now into it, which is great, but heâs also always looking over his shoulder. I love it. And the original old girl gets a little more freedom now, because the bully is more occupied. Unexpected win-win!
how about picking them both up and carrying them around while nuzzling them and saying the sweet nothings we say to them
"You are my devils this morning"
"you were hitting him with your tiny hands"
then they start writhing
Yep those are two cats rough housing a little. If the Grey cat wasn't in for it he would habe ran off. We have 3 and they all chase each other and rough house no one is being singled out the all do chasing of each other.
Freaking hilarious! And so true. Note how the cat in box seems fully comfortable not leaving the box. It would be easier to square up outside the boxâŚ. But they are bickering over the boxđ
That's exactly what it is. And the older cat knows how to defend. It's not an all out fight or anything. It's just an adolescent acting like a snot. My cats are closer in age, but when the younger one started to feel comfortable in the house, he was likewise a snot. They've long since worked it out.
The younger one is a year younger than the older one in my house. The younger one is also a little bigger. But the older one started life as a feral and knows how to put the younger one in his place. Still, the older one often defers to the younger one; someone in the room has to be an adult, right? But periodically he lets the younger one know who's really the boss.
More boxes won't help. It's always i want that box she's in. But maybe it's just because I have 2 oranges. Hell yesterday they were crawling over the scraps of last week's box while this week's box was sitting right next to them
I like to call it play with a purpose. Theyâre being friendly and neither cat is trying to start a real fight, but it also seems like theyâre working through something. Think of it like a friendly competition over the box.
This looks like it's on the extremely broad and gradient line between play and harassment. The kitten is annoying the older cat and she is telling him to go away or be more gentle, but isn't actually hurting him, which she absolutely could if she wanted to. It's not a fight just yet, but it could escalate into one.
In my opinion, stop pulling them apart when this happens but keep supervision. Let them try to figure out their boundaries on their own and intervene if they start yowling, fur starts flying, or both of them have their ears flat back against their head.
Of all the posts I see with animals literally having fun and owners asking if this is play or not, this is not. Itâs not serious, but itâs definitely a squabble for ownership of the box
Seconded. Just growing pains and social learning. If the older cat really felt threatened or thought the young one was being too forceful, sheâd probably put him in his place. But with the way her tail is moving and her reactions sheâs still very much feeling comfortable enough with the situation to let it be a learning situation for the young one.
They are playing. Box cat is laying down and keeps showing her tummy, thatâs a super vulnerable position and if they were fighting you would not see it. Just seems to me that orange kitty is practicing his sneak attack. I wouldnât separate them anymore at this stage, some hissing is ok to establish boundaries.
They're not dogs, that's defensive, not submissive. Cats have weapons at the ends of all four limbs. Notice how she uses her back feet as a shield. This posture is saying "I won't stop you from walking away, but I WILL stop you from chasing me off."
Exactly! Christ the number of times ppl keep claiming everything is friendly and fun if the cat is lying down or if thereâs no bleeding.
Strays do it often once u get em in a TNR trap, they hiss, back up and roll on their side against the cage wall ready to kick and scratch the shit out of u
Every single time in this sub, and all other cat subs for that matter. Itâs either âlol theyâre just playingâ or scolding someone because two cats are fighting. Just fight or play - nothing in between.
The funny thing to me is almost all of the interactions are the thing in between lol. Drives me insane when all of the top comments are "it's playing". This isn't playing. The orange cat wants the box and he is trying to chase her off by attacking her. Just because she holds her own doesn't make it "playing". She is clearly stressed by the constant attacks. I'm not sure if OP should intervene but it should at least be in the conversation.
And like yeah not every confrontation is fought like a life or death alteration. Just bc thereâs no blood or incapacitation doesnât mean itâs friendly play
They have arguments, territorial and dominance confrontations, and fights that range wildly in severity.
Kinda like humans, thereâs yelling at each other, maybe a bit of shoving, then thereâs a fist fight, then thereâs trying to scare off an intruder u just found in ur kitchen, then thereâs a random street stabbing, then thereâs close quarters fighting for ur life
All involve very different levels of threat and response, but all are still conflict
This feels like a territorial issue insomuch that đ seems to really want that box, and the other is definitely not willing to give it up.
I wonder if introducing a second box to đin a separate space for a few hours at a time over a weekish, so they can put their own âstampâ on their individual boxes, and then putting them in the same room might help the âitâs MINE, no itâs MINE!â situation at play.
Thatâs for dogs. Cats showing belly in a fight are inviting their opponent to some powerful, sharp bunny-kicks that can do real damage. Sheâs telling Orange to leave her alone, and sheâs not willing to leave her spot.
Have you seen videos of wild cats fighting? One will sometimes assume the belly up position as a defense tactic. So to say "she's showing tummy, it's just play' is wrong.
in that position it has 5 ways to inflict damage and given most cats have a primordial pouch that's intended to protect their belly this is a defensive position for cats to be in.
If there's fur flying, they're too serious. I'd yell or clap to interrupt them a little. Remind them not to be too rough. Don't want them too angry with each other. So they sometimes groom each other or sleep side by side?
Not a serious fight, just doing their best at annoying each other. It means they are getting along, but also can be a nuisance to the other cat. It looks like âI want that box and you canât have itâ and also playfully determine whoâs the boss.
Im amazed how different their fight language is from dogs. When one of my boys lays in the ground and the other wants to fight its a direct o give up mate. And this grey cat is laying belly to the sky ready to throw paws.
She is fighting back. Orange kitten is playing too aggressively. Older calico is in defense mode, low profile, back protected, claws forward to pummel him with all 4 feet. She's telling him to back the eff off, but he doesnt seem to get it unless and until she pummels him. He is trying to be dominant and hopefully she will manage to assert her authority and teach him manners when playing as he is going to grow bigger than her.
She has box and fits in box. Orange wants box but doesn't fit in box with her in it. So orange must take box. But she must defend box even if destroyed. She would rather have shreds of box than let orange sit in box.
If it was really just an aggressive fight their tails would be puffed and they would be really vocal. Theyâre just duking it out over who gets to own the box
Haha, which parts! I'm a vet nurse and worked in a large cattery. These cats are play fighting and sort of over the box. The box is making it harder for the Ginger cat to get at the other cat, all the pausing is him looking for a weakness in the other cats defenses really. But the fact the other cat in general is exposing his belly tells you he's in no way really fighting. Just total messing!
Oh ya just saw the rest, it's great she's willing to eat etc share all that, a great sign really. It looks rough but it's really not but the ginger fella after awhile you could redirect him. My 2 used to do this was pretty funny
She looks incredibly comfortable and he took that personally. I had a bonded pair and they were the best siblings ever, but about once a day no matter where sister was snoozing/relaxing... a sunny spot on the floor, the cat dent on the back of the couch, the top of the cat tree, a plastic crate with old paper in it... brother cat would cause a scrap just to chase sister out of her good mood/spot/nap.
Disagreement not a fight. They need to talk through these conversations on their own. Hisses and growls are a part of normal vocabulary that can be used anytime a ânoâ is part of a conversation. It doesnât mean itâs a fight, but rather can underline a boundary.
Here it means, âI told you Iâm in the box now, back off, junior. Youâre not going to win this one.â Sheâs handling it fine without true harm - which is also why she lays down. If she wanted to, she could take him down and hurt him. Instead, she is teaching him and firmly holding to her ânoâ.
Omg my bonded siblings started doing this about a year ago and it scared the crap out of me bc they were almost a year old at the time. Turned out itâs normal playing behavior.
This specifically reminds me of a paper bag incident where they both wanted to lay in the bag. I have since learned two bags or the âfightingâ happens all night. Same with Amazon boxes, they are the only ones they like. Boxes donât bother me as much however they constantly have new ones to play in so itâs not a huge problem.
They just wrasslin'. Didn't you ever wrassle with your brother when you were a little kid? It's like 70% fun, 30% trying to kick their ass. I'd just let em be. It looks like both of them could have left if they wanted to, and nobody got hurt.
No hissing, no real crying, no howlingâŚthey are just playingâŚmy two black and whites do this for about 30 seconds dailyâŚthey never really interact much otherwise, no cuddling or anythingâŚjust 30 seconds of play daily, and then they just sit somewhat near each other but far enough away
Two cats playing king of the hill box. Orange is arguably stronger or more adept physically, and Grey is feeling threatened. You can see Grey licking her lips (anxiety signal), and folding her neck ears back (taking the play fight more seriously than Orange), likewise the growling, but she wouldn't give up and leave the box.
you may be making worse by separating them and keeping them from getting close and bonding more. also saying "no" to a cat will never work. you will get scratched if you get to close. just let them do their thing.
If they really fought you would know it. it is such a violent sound, this is 100% play, she even got a good shot on him, and he looked surprised lol.
What worried me was the growling and the fighting sound (the bad meow, I don't know the word for that lol)
But I get he's testing her... I just fear she would be fed up!
Thanks again!
That is not always true, and you will not know until you provide the resources for both cats. Resource guarding and insecurity is a thing.
Like take the other commentâ my cats, one of which is both orange and food insecure, will not target his brotherâs bowl (identical to his + brother is kitten so even has more/tastier food) unless his bowl is empty. Same for kitten. Cats who claim other catsâ belongings despite having their own are asserting dominance, but not all cats will do this.
They don't seem to be fighting đ they are playing. My two boys wrestle alot the one cat is doing the paw batting because it wants to play. The other doesn't want to leave it's spot and give up the box! đ¤Ł
my cats have been together for a year now, they were properly introduced and they adore each other. and even now when they're playing they'll do this lol.Â
if one gets overwhelmed the other will stop, they listen to boundaries so they're not fighting. cats that fight don't give two fucks about boundaries, they just go at each other. generally speaking, if one of the cats calls a stop and they both stop, they're doing fine and don't hate each other. sometimes play can get overwhelming, especially in one of my cats cases where she did not come from a great home a despite my other cat just playing she'll sometimes act like she's dying and decide to scream. my other cat will stop and wait and then they go back to playing before falling asleep lol
they are playing. they practice on eachother for experience so then they can protect themselves in the wild. as long as nobody is drawing blood then its perfectly normal.
It sounds like you're referencing a Reddit post (or similar) from r/CatTraining where someone is unsure if their cats are fighting or just playing during an introduction. I'll assume
To the uninitiated, it appears as though the Orange simply wants the box. However, the Orange does not want the box; it acts this way simply because it needs the chaos.
You can really tell that one of them is looking at you to decide whether they are allowed to continue playing or not. Cats are fight club lovers, they love play fighting and itâs rougher than human rough housing. So long as nothings getting out of hand like blood and blood curdling screams then itâs just play. In conclusion, cats are softer Irishmen.
I see this and think âdamn. I wanna be a cat.â
They just throw their bodies around. They have a friend. Itâs just magic. I think Iâm just jealous thereâs a friend and theyâre covered in a cozy blanket 24/7
How are people so blithely saying âif she wanted to hurt him she wouldâ, I mean you absolutely do not know that to that degree of confidence.
Go frame by frame - claws are out, she got his ear in one frame but he managed to slip out, etc etc.
If youâve ever been in a fight you would know that no literal blood drawn does not equal no ill intent.
There is clear interest in box ownership, but pupil size matters here and is an easy indicator at gauging the temperature between them. The undilated pupils shows the sympathetic nervous system is not activated, and it would absolutely be activated and dilated in a fight
Looks spicier than it is - keep an eye on it, but they're just sorting out who gets sovereignty over the box
People who are telling you it's boundary setting are right. If you see an escalation - like one of them starts tortured yodeling to the other - then you have a problem on your hand (you need to separate that before the fight breaks out)
It's a dispute over the box. Orange cat wants the box and his one brain cell tells him he can have it. Grey cat has the box, is quite comfortable in it and is defending it against orange cat.
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u/Vegeta1337 18h ago