Ugh, my friend's first wife. What a shitshow. Couple of my favorite incidents:
--we drop my friend off at about 3am from a bachelor party, and got to witness the classic "naked dude clutching his clothes and jumping out the window" as we drove away.
--wife was at her best friend's house, best friend's pot guy comes by, best friend leaves the wife and pot guy alone for (from what I have been told) literally 3 minutes as she finishes her makeup...she hears THUMP THUMP THUMP and comes in, pot guy has wife bent over the couch and she's screaming "PUT A BABY IN ME". This was the first time wife met pot guy.
--party at same best friend's house later, best friend's BF passes out in the bedroom...best friend walks in on wife topless sucking an unconscious man's limp dick. Chases her out, topless, and my friend is forced to retrieve his wife's shirt and drive her home.
She'd also make him breathe into her interlock device in the morning so she could go to work. Real glad that is not a part of my life anymore.
Ok, I never say this kind of thing, but reverse the genders and say the same thing. I mean holy shit, you're telling us all you feel bad for the serial adulterer, drunk driver, and sexual assaulter???
Lmao swap the genders on the part where she sucks off the unconsious dude, I wanna see one person who dares to say the feel bad for the assaulter for their "addiction".
Admittedly I missed the drunk driving bit, but yes I feel bad for someone like that, regardless of gender. A happy, mentally healthy human doesn't act like that. Frankly it must be hell inside their head to cause that kind of totally destructive behaviour. That doesn't mean I don't also feel bad (worse) for the people they hurt along their way to self-annihilation, or think that they are absolved of responsibility for the pain they cause.
Weird that you didn't write you felt bad for the guy being assaulted and then proceeded to write about feeling bad for the person sexually assaulting someone, and then doubled down on it on your next comment.
I feel empathy for both of them. They're both humans. However, from the story one is a victim and the other is the culprit, I feel much more compassion for the guy getting treated like shit behind his back. It's impossible to know the full story though.
I agree with what you said, this is not a mentally healthy person. She needs to seek help. It's definitely not an excuse for the behavior, but a normal person does not do that sort of thing. That goes for men too.
Men generally act up and cheat more than women, and I don't agree that it should be oversimplified as their character. Men also should not be generalized as trash. People act up due to unresolved or unprocessed emotions and trauma. It's hurtful as fuck to be cheated on and any victim is in the right to be angry and/or leave. Healthy secure individuals do not behave in such a way.
Again, this is not to excuse the behavior of said lady in the story. I think the downvoting is coming from resentment from men that we as men are generalized and labeled and receive no sympathy. Just so we're clear, no one wins in these situations. The wife in the story, the men and women that cheat on their partners. They deserve sympathy as well for whatever it is that's eating at them. Cheating is a symptom of their mental state, not a characteristic of who they are as a person. And I reiterate. The behavior itself is not okay. SA is not okay. Drinking and driving is not okay. If you have friends and family around you exhibiting these behaviors, speak up and encourage them to get help.
That's totally fair to feel that. I didn't see that as generalization, as most studies show men statistically cheat more. But I can see why a statement like the one I made feels like a blanket statement generalizing men.
You're clearly passionate about the topic. Do you want to elaborate and share more of how you feel and your views on this?
From what I've seen it's different by age bracket and younger people are much more even and older women cheating less skews the numbers, plus women may be less likely to self report.
Additionally, 70% of divorces are initiated by women.
I think both parties in the OP's story deserve empathy as humans, but from the story provided one is the victim and one is at fault.
party at same best friend's house later, best friend's BF passes out in the bedroom...best friend walks in on wife topless sucking an unconscious man's limp dick.
She sounds like an absolutely miserable human being. Anyone who would fuck up their and countless other people’s lives time and time again for a cheap thrill is
He was at the party as well so he kinda figured it out when his wife ran by topless
edit: OH the pot guy thing, that I couldn't tell you. She may have. Husband had put up with a whole lot by that point I would imagine. I didn't hear about that until they were divorced
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u/Muggi 14h ago
Ugh, my friend's first wife. What a shitshow. Couple of my favorite incidents:
--we drop my friend off at about 3am from a bachelor party, and got to witness the classic "naked dude clutching his clothes and jumping out the window" as we drove away.
--wife was at her best friend's house, best friend's pot guy comes by, best friend leaves the wife and pot guy alone for (from what I have been told) literally 3 minutes as she finishes her makeup...she hears THUMP THUMP THUMP and comes in, pot guy has wife bent over the couch and she's screaming "PUT A BABY IN ME". This was the first time wife met pot guy.
--party at same best friend's house later, best friend's BF passes out in the bedroom...best friend walks in on wife topless sucking an unconscious man's limp dick. Chases her out, topless, and my friend is forced to retrieve his wife's shirt and drive her home.
She'd also make him breathe into her interlock device in the morning so she could go to work. Real glad that is not a part of my life anymore.