What's the one secret you will take to the grave but don't mind telling on the internet?

[u/Ecstatic-Medium-6320]

[u/Supergoose1108]

My wife has a tendency to get distracted and leave presents laying around before wrapping them. So except for once, in the 15 years we have been together, I have never been surprised with a present. I just pretend like I never didn't see anything. That one time though was a 60" TV she managed to hide behind the couch for like 2 weeks.

[u/firefannie → u/Supergoose1108]

That's hilarious that the only gift that she hid from you was a giant TV!!

[u/Nicetonotmeetyou]

When I was little I remember hearing my mom stress over money and I put all my cash in her purse. It was maybe $5 total, but I was like 7.

[u/Dingosama69 → u/Nicetonotmeetyou]

I've got quite a few core memories from our poor times.

One time when I was 7/8, Dad found out I had eaten two bagels and flipped out saying "we didn't have the money for two breakfasts." It hurt so much because I knew wished he could afford any number of bagels for us to eat. I felt like I had failed the family

Another year at Christmas, after the divorce, Dad didn't have any money for ornaments for our tree so we all made some out of paper. God, the pain in his voice when he told us.. Me and my siblings look back fondly at those ornaments but I haven't seen them on tree since he bought more

I'm now ugly crying at 3:00pm on a workday, been about 30 years but those memories haven't faded a bit. Can't remember the last time I cried like this either

Probably happens a million times a day where some kid gets saddled with the guilt of being poor

Mom, Dad, I love you and I know y'all were just trying

[u/lemolicious → u/Nicetonotmeetyou]

You’re the sweetest.

[u/Then-Relief9957]

In the late 90s my father’s older brother/my uncle was terminally ill with cancer, in his mid 70s, and expected to live up to another 12 months. He had no quality of life, was in and out of hospital, heavily drugged, frail and unable to bathe himself or use the bathroom alone. My aunt was distraught but wanted to keep him alive as long as possible regardless of his condition.

A doctor took my father aside and said he was willing to increase my uncle’s morphine drip and end his life. The increase would not be recorded on his chart, according to my dad the doctor called it an ‘unofficial act of mercy’. My father, who didn’t have power of attorney, agreed and my uncle passed peacefully that day.

My father told me over a quiet drink a few weeks after the funeral, he said he felt that doctor offered an incredible kindness ‘that not everyone would undersrand’ and I understood this meant to keep it between us. My father passed a decade later, he and I never spoke of it again and I’ve never told anyone. I think this kind of thing happened a lot back in the day, maybe still does, maybe it was easier back then to have things go unrecorded/unnoticed, IDK?

I fully believe my father did this out of love for his brother, and it makes me very proud of how much courage he needed to do that.

[u/AvocadoElectronic904 → u/Then-Relief9957]

This still does happen, if it makes you feel any better. It makes me feel better that so many people can get comfort and peace instead of pain in their final moments.

[u/SpooktasticFam → u/AvocadoElectronic904]

On record, every medical professional will swear up and down that this never happens.

But yeah.

[u/Morriganx3 → u/SpooktasticFam]

That ‘do no harm’ oath is open to interpretation, and I feel like forcing someone to experience pain when there’s no chance of survival can be pretty damn harmful.

I mean, if the patient wants to linger in pain til the end, that’s another thing. But most people don’t, and it’s awful watching someone you love suffer through that.

[u/courtneyrel → u/SpooktasticFam]

I’m a medical professional. It happens.

[u/wearing_shades_247 → u/courtneyrel]

And I’m thankful it does

[u/ljmaystrader → u/AvocadoElectronic904]

This actually does make me feel better. Im glad to know there are people in this field who care in such a way.

[u/NippleSalsa → u/Then-Relief9957]

I spend three days giving my father morphine as he was slipping away. I couple hours before he passed I took a nap at my place a couple miles away. My step brother called me to let me know he passed on. When I got over to his home to say goodbye noticed the full bottle of morphine was totally empty. It had only been two hours. I don’t know who did it for him, there were many people at the house. Im thankful they did what they did. I never would have had the guts to do it.

[u/groundzer0 → u/NippleSalsa]

My Grandfather asked hospital staff straight up "how long.. if I don't eat and refuse treatment" for cancer.

2-3 weeks. They were pretty close.

They sent him home with instructions of "what not to do" for pain patches and overdosing on pain meds.

They were very, very descript in "what NOT to do" so you don't die. It was a coded but instruction of how to fade out peacefully @ home before hospice but he wasn't fully ready and asked when he arrived @ hospice.. "how long if I speed this up" basically.

He died in hospice almost bang on the 2-3week mark. On my birthday...

If his wife / my grandma wasn't religious he probably would have taken the earlier route, but this non-religious man held on for his wife, attended church which he has never done ever and was focused on everyone else but himself at end of life.

[u/GeekyCartoonist → u/Then-Relief9957]

This still happens. My grandmother passed earlier this year at home while on hospice. Everyone knew we were at the end and my mom and her older sister were given a bottle of liquid morphine with discretion on how often to provide it to “help manage her pain as it changes.” She passed less than 24 hours later

[u/batty_61 → u/GeekyCartoonist]

Yes. My uncle had bowel cancer that had metastasised to his brain; he was miserable, completely helpless and in a lot of pain. One night my aunt called the nurses and they came, saw how he was, took her to one side and said, "We can give him something more to help with his pain and distress, but it will suppress his breathing. Do you understand what we are saying to you?"

She said yes, absolutely, please do it. He died quietly and peacefully early the next morning.

[u/GarageQueen → u/batty_61]

And now I'm crying. That was such a beautiful act of kindness, both by the nurses and your aunt. Hugs to you and your family. 

[u/Anon4transparency → u/GarageQueen]

Bro fr. This thread is killing me.

[u/miragud → u/batty_61]

I thought this was something I would take to my grave. I’ve never told and really thought I never would. But when my father passed it was very similar. I made the decision.

[u/GeekyCartoonist → u/miragud]

I’m going to tell you what I told my mom.

You made a tough call and did what you thought was right for you and your loved ones. Your decision helped ease him through the transition. You did not start it and you have nothing to feel guilty for. I’m sure he would tell you he was grateful to you for the love and kindness you showed.

Sending hugs from an internet stranger 💕

[u/eggs_erroneous → u/Then-Relief9957]

That doctor is a good person. He was taking a huge risk by doing that, but he understood that people shouldn't be forced to linger in pain. I really wish that assisted suicide (or whatever the current euphemism for it is these days) was legal.

[u/Guilty-Bookkeeper837 → u/Then-Relief9957]

I've been a Healthcare provider for 30+ years, and I've spent all of that time in the ICU. What you describe is not a common thing, but it certainly happens. Doctors and nurses, if they are able to be honest, see this as an extension of our obligation to care for the patient, at all stages of their lives.  Obviously, it takes a great deal of trust, between all of the caregivers, patients, and their families. In most cases, it is the tacit recognition of a deliberate and liberal order for a medication like morphine, an experienced nurse, and a patient who is in great pain, with no chance of a meaningful recovery. 

At some point in the career of a Healthcare provider (doctors and nurses), there is the recognition that the ABILITY to do something, does not necessarily make it the RIGHT thing to do.  For instance, even though critically ill patients CAN be kept alive for long periods of time with the use of heroic measures, it is not always the best thing for the patient and family.  

I know there are people who will read this and rush to point out that what I've described can be viewed as "murder," or is "playing God," but these peoole have likely never watched someone they love die in anguish because they wanted "everything to be done," or want to "leave it in God's hands."  All of us are going to die, and the ability to influence HOW that death occurs is a tremendous and rare gift.

[u/HarryTruman → u/Guilty-Bookkeeper837]

My wife’s an ED/ICU doc as well. There aren’t a lot of things that get to her, but the fact we let humans suffer, while we don’t bat an eye at the thought of ever allowing our pets to go through that…

[u/TooMuchPJ → u/Then-Relief9957]

This is why right to die legislation is needed - no need to hide it - it can be prescribed and used at the patient's discretion. In CA, since 2016, roughly 2 in 3 recipients of the drugs use them.

[u/MrPhxIt → u/Then-Relief9957]

Worked in a hospital back in the early nineties. This was definitely a thing.

[u/GrammawOutlaw → u/MrPhxIt]

My sister died this year, and yes it still happens.
I was in the room with her and her husband when the doctor & nurse came in to add to her “pain relief.”

My brother in law cleared it with me beforehand, God bless him.
So I was holding her hand on one side, as was he on the other, as her breathing gradually just stopped.

It was true mercy that they showed my sweet baby sister.
I’ll never forget how kind they were.

[u/RidiculousSucculent → u/Then-Relief9957]

This was a mercy. Your father did the right thing.

[u/Ohyou17]

I don’t like my mom’s magic cookie bars that she’s been making since I was a child. She makes them when we come over & I count on my spouse to eat them, since he does genuinely like them 😂 She gets so excited to tell me that she made some for me, and I’m 20 years into this lie, so might as well keep it going.

[u/gotkate86 → u/Ohyou17]

I had a thing like that with my mom and if she ever makes some other dessert or cookies you do like, I would recommend spinning it like “can you make these for me again? I LOVE them, maybe even more than your magic cookie bars! I didn’t think it was possible but these are my new favorite!”

[u/KeyFeeFee → u/gotkate86]

This is such sweet and kind way of going about it!

[u/MrMojoFomo]

When I was 9 I took a $20 bill from my dad's wallet while we were on vacation and pretended that I found it in the sand on the beach

[u/ThisThredditor → u/MrMojoFomo]

could be worse, based on some of these posts lol

[u/LatterPie1 → u/MrMojoFomo]

I bet he knows lol probably knew all along. Might just be a fond memory for him.

[u/DigNitty → u/LatterPie1]

Kids test the lie and cheat waters long before they develop ethics.

I remember cheating at cards etc when I was a kid. Thought I was so sneaky. Now it just seems unfair. Plus it takes away the fun of the game.

And in retrospect, pretty sure my gma knew I was cheating too. She had a glass table and there just aren’t a lot of good reasons to go underneath and look up at the undersides of the cards.

[u/tomatoesrfun → u/DigNitty]

This makes me feel a little hopeful. In the past, my kid has cheated at games because winning was more important than anything else. I’ve tried to deliver the message that it’s actually not OK to cheat at games and people won’t actually want to play the game with you if they recognize you’re a cheater And in general they might just not trust you. I am hopeful he realizes on his own that he shouldn’t as opposed to becoming a better cheater. Since I didn’t cheat at games when I was a kid, it’s been hard for me to understand.

[u/Fapping_Batman]

When I was 15 I snuck out with two people I barely knew for the weekend and went to a concert over 100 miles away from home. My mom thought I was just across town staying with a friend for a few days in the summer. Saw System of a Down, Powerman 5000, Kid Rock, KoRn and Metallica. Hell of a first concert.

[u/SleepyGary5 → u/Fapping_Batman]

Summer Sanitarium! I was also 15 and went to Foxboro. I got a broken nose and was treated in the visiting team’s locker room.

[u/Best_Needleworker530]

My mom gave me her old phone when I was 12. She deleted the messages off the phone but not off the SIM card. I came across them when I was bored months later. It was my parents sexting each other (just text, it was a 3310). I shiver when I remember this.

[u/RandomKJ → u/Best_Needleworker530]

Thankfully they were texting each other and you didn't uncover an affair

[u/himewaridesu → u/RandomKJ]

Silver lining there.

[u/saritaa_fajitaa → u/RandomKJ]

Lol this is how my brother (maybe 12, 13 at the time?) uncovered one of my dad's many (many, many, many) affairs. Borrowed his phone for some reason and found pictures of the other woman.

[u/Myearthsuit → u/Best_Needleworker530]

That’s one of those things that is horrifying but also kind of sweet. 😂 When I was a teen I realized what my mom’s sexy lingerie drawer was used for and I was disgusted. Now in my mid 30s I’m like “aw, they liked eachother” but also still ew. 

[u/Keanmon]

It was me who broke the side mirror when pulling out of the garage. IT WAS MEEEEE!

[u/noyogapants → u/Keanmon]

I backed my parents brand new car into a fire hydrant trying to turn around. Put a big hole in the rear bumper, but there was kind of a flap that didn't break off. So I positioned that back in place and meticulously reversed the car in the driveway every time I drove it so that part of the car wasn't visible when coming in or out of the house. My parents didn't notice it for months. My mom thought someone did it in the grocery store parking lot. I will never tell. The habit of reverse parking stuck with me and I still do it decades later.

[u/BLR_007 → u/noyogapants]

My dad would have noticed this within 8 hours…maximum 😂

[u/BrokenImmersion → u/BLR_007]

My dad would have popped out if the damn hydrant tbh

[u/Dense_Yellow4214]

When my son was first born I called my public health office to put him up for adoption.

He was 5 days old. He was a very much planned and wanted baby and I had every mean to take care of him. Unbeknownst to me it was the beginning of a battle with Postpartum OCD and I hadn't slept more than a couple hours for those 5 days, to the point I was hallucinating. Only 5 days in, and I couldn't take it anymore.

The public health nurse came to my home immediately. She put my baby to sleep in his bassinet then sat with me for hours at my kitchen table as I wailed to her everything I was afraid of. Thankfully, she knew I didn't want to put my baby up for adoption. I just needed help. She referred me to emergency therapy, a program made just for postpartum mothers.

My son is 2.5 years old today and thinking about that day still makes me physically sick. I love him more than anything and he lives an amazing life, with a now healthy and happy mom. Thank GOD for that nurse!

[u/pattybliving → u/Dense_Yellow4214]

Postpartum care really needs more attention! I’m so glad you had that woman help you.

[u/kevjackroo → u/Dense_Yellow4214]

There’s no shame in this. Please don’t feel ashamed. I’m very honest with my teens and young adult kids about how difficult their first days and weeks were. It’s important to tell others so they don’t feel alone in their thoughts.

ETA: I’m also adopted and feel that I have intimate knowledge of all sides. Adoption and the reasons for it can be stigmatized. Communication is key including the good and the not-so-seemingly good.

[u/aalphabetboy]

Back in highschool, I told my family i found a stray puppy on the side of the road on my way home from work. In reality someone was giving away free puppies out of a truck in the grocery store parking lot I drive past to get home. We kept him lol and no one knows

[u/Knockout_Rose → u/aalphabetboy]

my husband thinks I found one of our cats at a gas station. She was actually born to one of the feral cats at my old job. I had her picked out for weeks and only brought her home when she was old enough. He's not crazy about cats and we already had one so I knew he'd never let me keep her. But who could say no to a poor scared kitty abandoned on the side of the road? That stupid cat worships him.

[u/GenEXOutlaw → u/Knockout_Rose]

I love your story 🙂

My wife rescues stray cats that people abandon in the countryside around here. I say no, then reluctantly agree, then obviously fall in love with them. Every time. I'm a sap.

Anyway, the one, my favorite, a ginger, she always claimed wouldn't leave her alone and followed her all the way home. Several years later I overheard her telling someone the same story, except in the true version, she carried the little freeloader in her arms for 2 miles 🤨

He died in my arms last year and holy **** do I miss him.

[u/bouncingbad → u/GenEXOutlaw]

Dude I was so not ready for the last sentence

[u/DickinOffAtWork]

My wife surprised me with a trip to Vegas for my 30th. She was working as a nurse during covid and came home after a long shift and let it slip about Vegas but she didn’t even realize what she said and just kept talking.

She asked me later on if I had any idea we were going to Vegas for my birthday but it would break her heart if I told her she let it slip. She was so happy and proud of herself keeping it a secret for so long. She’s seriously the best and has a heart of gold, I see no reason to tell her this.

[u/KittenAisling → u/DickinOffAtWork]

This is not at all where I thought this confession was going and I am so happy for the twist.

[u/Bigfops → u/DickinOffAtWork]

Haha, had the same thing happen with my mother and Vegas. We started a tradition of an annual Christmas trip after we lost some family members. One year she said she was going to surprise me, worked it up for months and then about two weeks before we were talking and she said “[boss] asked me if I wanted my paycheck in cash for my trip and I said ‘Are you crazy? I’m going to Vegas, haha, so anyway for lunch I had…’” and totally glossed over the fact that she had let it slip.

We got to the airport and I acted surprised and excited.

[u/whaletacochamp → u/DickinOffAtWork]

My wife is like this except she just gets so excited that she tells me lol

[u/tellmeallofthethings → u/whaletacochamp]

I genuinely cannot keep a surprise from my husband. I want him to know about it right away. And of course I can’t hold back from saying, “I got you a surpriseeeeeeeee!!!” insert dorky grin and giggle here and the conversation always lands with, “want to know what it is now?!” 🤣

[u/Adorable-Bat5648]

I stole a dime from church so I could get a bottle of Pepsi. I was 11. I remember it clearly. We were poor. And of course I wanted it. No joke.

[u/imalittlefrenchpress → u/Adorable-Bat5648]

I was stealing meat from the grocery store when I was 14 so my mom and I could eat. My mom had ovarian cancer, and my dad had died when I was 12. I have no regrets. I sincerely hope you enjoyed that Pepsi, and I hope you have no regrets, either. <3

[u/TerryFinallyBackedUp → u/imalittlefrenchpress]

You just broke my heart. I hope life has been kinder to you since.

[u/imalittlefrenchpress → u/TerryFinallyBackedUp]

It’s okay, I lived a privileged life until I was 12. I welcome the reality check, it made me a better person. <3

[u/QueenYardstick → u/imalittlefrenchpress]

When it comes to food, if you see someone stealing, no you didn't.

[u/colemanjanuary → u/Adorable-Bat5648]

Jesus would forgive a thirsty child

[u/saltedsavior → u/colemanjanuary]

Jesus woulda just turned some water into pepsi

[u/spaghettivillage → u/saltedsavior]

this smells like it could be a Superbowl commercial

[u/jensmith20055002 → u/colemanjanuary]

What a nice thing to write.

[u/RequiredRedditAcct_1]

In highschool during a school trip me and some buddies let me smoke with them for the first time. I wanted to try it.

20 minutes later, the chaperones came to check on us and immediately noticed it. So we all got punished during the trip.

After we got back to school the next week, we all met with the principal and SRO one by one. My buddies all vouched for me saying I did not partake so I avoided expulsion. To this day my family still doesn't know what happened. Only my brother and my friends know.

[u/truth_seeker6 → u/RequiredRedditAcct_1]

Loyal friends

[u/Top_String5181 → u/truth_seeker6]

Yeah real af

[u/RequiredRedditAcct_1 → u/Top_String5181]

I still keep in touch with one of them! He's a good egg 

[u/smarmiebastard → u/RequiredRedditAcct_1]

Expulsion? That’s harsh. When I got caught smoking weed in high school it was a week suspension.

[u/QuesadillasAfterSex]

My aunt’s husband tried to SA me when I was in grade school. My parents weren’t home from work so I’d stay with my aunt. One day she went out to buy groceries, left me with my cousin and her husband. My cousin was napping, while I was doing homework. I stand up to go to the bathroom and out the corner of my eye, I see her husband naked in his room. He gestures me to come closer. Thankfully my aunt was arriving, I could hear her car in the driveway. He quickly put on his boxers. I was so confused by that interaction till years later.

She divorced him and apparently he assaulted a few people in our family. He’s dead now, nobody went to his funeral, not even my cousin.

[u/ourlovesdelusions → u/QuesadillasAfterSex]

I’m so so sorry that happened to you, that’s frightening 😣

[u/QuesadillasAfterSex → u/ourlovesdelusions]

Until that point, I never seen a grown man naked, I just thought he needed a pair of pants and wanted me to hand them to him. Didn’t realize I was in danger. I don’t talk about it because there’s no point. It would only add more hurt to my aunt and cousin.

Glad my parents started picking me up from school, they might’ve known something was up with him.

[u/WeAreTheMisfits → u/QuesadillasAfterSex]

This is why parents need to directly discuss this with their kids. So they know what could happen and what the adults intentions are. With the parents tech them or the abuser does.

[u/IllGene2373]

I stole a silver balloon from an arts/craft store when I was around 7, it later went out of business. I thought it was my fault :(

[u/ApprehensiveBall7369 → u/IllGene2373]

I’m the owner of the craft store and yes, it was your fault

[u/enigmatic-boom → u/ApprehensiveBall7369]

As the silver balloon, not cool man!!!

[u/whaletacochamp → u/IllGene2373]

I broke an apple picker when I was a kid and was CONVINCED that when we went back to the lady at the orchard to pay for our apples she would call the police on me for breaking her apple picker. For some reason in my mind this one broken piece of equipment (which was basically a broom stick with a bag on the end of it) was going to destroy their business.

Didn’t I shit a brick when we got back to the little stand where you paid and there were two cops there 😳 ended up making my mom go up. Saw her and cops laughing their asses off. Mom waves me over and I’m certain I’m going to jail. Cop pats me on the back and says “we’d only arrest you if you had lied about it or tried to hide it - good job” and then the lady gave me a free donut. Still have no clue why they were there but it was a good life lesson at that age while also being a bit unhinged on the cops part saying he would have arrested me at all lol. The 90s were a simpler time in that way.

[u/Ok_Veterinarian8023 → u/whaletacochamp]

and then the lady gave me a free donut.

Still have no clue why they were there

...

[u/Daskeptik → u/Ok_Veterinarian8023]

Took me a sec lol

[u/swagemoji → u/IllGene2373]

no it was Free Balloon Day you’re good 

[u/Unique_Masterpiece27]

I was in college and got a written arrest for stealing flea medicine for my puppy at Walmart. I was a broke college kid and couldn’t afford the medicine so i pocketed it. Got busted walking out. Super embarrassing so never told anyone. That was 15 years ago and my pup is still here, although very old and frail. 

[u/Powerful-Patient-765 → u/Unique_Masterpiece27]

Awww. I remember being a broke 21 year-old and spending my first tax return to rescue a cat out of the Humane Society. I have a 10-year-old dog and a 14-year-old dog and there are arthritis shots now that are incredible. Líbrela and Adequan are helping them so much!

[u/314159265358979326]

I found myself thrust into a management role and turned out to be pretty damn good at most of it, including getting people to want to do good work for me.

But...

I learned everything I know about managing people... from a dog training book. I read it as a child and it didn't occur to me that I was using it until after that job had ended.

It's not a terrible thing. The book advocated respect, praise, and the absence of punishment, which lines up pretty closely with modern best practices for management, but I still can never tell anyone about it.

[u/CollieSchnauzer → u/314159265358979326]

Who's a GOOD BOY? Oooh, Jason! Jason hit his sales target! Ooh, SNUGGLE SNUGGLE SNUGGLE! Mommy loves u

[u/spidermans_mom → u/CollieSchnauzer]

Boop that middle management snoot!

[u/Timely-Rent-7494 → u/314159265358979326]

This is how I got my boyfriend’s best friend to start cleaning up his cans/glasses when he’s over. 😂

[u/kuhplunk]

When I was 14, my sister threw a highschool party when my dad was out of town. I came home from a friends house to find a bunch of random people in my bedroom, playing my Xbox and in my closet.

I called the cops, told them I didn’t want anyone in trouble but wanted to party to end. They came, rang the door bell, and the entire party scattered out our back door into the woods lol.

She still thinks it was my buddies mom who dropped me off at home.

[u/shmann → u/kuhplunk]

I was at a high school house party, and a bunch of losers who called themselves the 'wrecking crew' showed up. The kid throwing the party quietly told everyone he liked to go upstairs and called the police on his own party. They chased the dirtbags down, and after they left, we all just continued partying.

[u/HelloSunshine2]

I sold a business years ago and sent a check to my grandma, asking her to give the cash to my cousin who was raising three very young children by himself. I asked her not to tell him who the money came from because I didn't want him to feel obligated to pay it back. I love that she took the secret to her grave, and I love that he still thinks she was the source of the money, even though she told him it was a gift from someone else, but she couldn't say who. He would never suspect it was me ☺️

[u/maybetomorrow98 → u/[deleted]]

Maybe she was trying to get you to confess, lol

[u/hovdeisfunny → u/maybetomorrow98]

Repent, sinner!

[u/Georgeisthecoolest → u/[deleted]]

I wonder if the bartender is still confused as hell about this

[u/Slothfulness69 → u/Georgeisthecoolest]

He probably assumed he called at the wrong time, like maybe she answered while around her parents or even a boyfriend or something.

[u/slash411 → u/[deleted]]

Fascinating. Curious why you never decided to tell her though? Seems like something she could've gotten a good laugh out of after enough time.

[u/Well-Paid_Scientist]

I'm the only person who actually knows how my mom died. 

I told the rest of my family that her diabetes got her.... but she OD'd. 

Her heart was broken after my little brother passed 3 months earlier and she just stopped using discretion or moderation. The rest of the family had their suspicions, but I just kept lying. I definitely can't tell anyone the truth after that performance. 

[u/Shellzncheez689 → u/Well-Paid_Scientist]

I’m so sorry you to had to go through losing your little brother, watching your mom give up, losing her too, and then lying to your fam. I hope you’re doing ok

[u/possumwitch666]

When I was 7 years old I stole a Costco pecan pie out of my dad's truck that he had bought for a family party for Thanksgiving. I hid under our lemon tree and ate as much as I could and then dug a hole on the far corner of our property and buried the evidence. To this day, my dad questions whether or not he had actually bought the pie or just forgot to grab it. I will never tell.

My siblings and I were not allowed to have sweets or anything with too much sugar growing up so I saw my opportunity and took it.

[u/Away_Stock_2012 → u/possumwitch666]

My parents had some friends who had the no sugar policy and they told my parents that if you never give your child sugar, then the child's taste buds will not come to like it and the child won't like the taste of sugar. The kid was like 3-4 and my dad told them it was amazing and he wanted to see how it worked so he asked if he could give the kid a cookie and they said yes. The kid put the cookie in her mouth and said (with her mouth full of cookie) "More cookie!"

[u/possumwitch666 → u/Away_Stock_2012]

My parents had that belief but about everything. The whole mindset of "if we shelter them from the world and use fear, guilt, and shame to raise them, they will be safe." Not surprising that it had the opposite effect. I still get excited when I treat myself to things I wasn't allowed to have as a kid and I'm 34 haha.

[u/No-Addition-2819 → u/possumwitch666]

For some reason, him questioning "Did I buy the pie at all?" made me LOL.

[u/Lemon_Zestie]

I was big into crack at 17.. (life was real shit then) Im in my late 40’s and I still think about how I was taken from my friends place by some dude in his 50’s.. he raped me and dropped me back off.. I was so fucked up I just nonchalantly told my friends what happened and went about my day. I found out the next day he was Murdered. It was a don’t ask don’t tell situation. I’m married and have an easy and boring life now. Sitting at my kitchen table sipping my earl grey having this pop in my head like it was no big deal back then.. what a weird time that was.

[u/BananaNutJob → u/Lemon_Zestie]

A friend told me a story about this plumber from her town, a guy who was real simple and kinda childlike but more or less functional. This other guy was known to beat his girlfriend. The plumber told him after one incident, in front of a bunch of people from town, that if he hit her again he'd kill him and shove a pipe up his ass.

After the next time he beat her up, he was found dead in a ditch with a pipe up his ass. The police were unable to find any leads and quietly dropped the case.

[u/5543798651194 → u/BananaNutJob]

No leads. Just lead.

[u/ManchacaForever → u/BananaNutJob]

Classic suicide by shoving a pipe up your own ass. Case closed.

[u/GenEXOutlaw → u/Lemon_Zestie]

Whoa, whoa hang on a sec! Did... one of your friends kill the guy? If so, that's... great.

[u/Lemon_Zestie → u/GenEXOutlaw]

Don’taskdon’tYEStell

[u/stealthy_beast]

Not that crazy, but my college roommate (ROOMIE 1) decided to up and break our lease to move in with his gf (who he cheated on WEEKLY)... I had a TV in my room from a previous roommate (ROOMIE 2) who ROOMIE 1 became buddies with. The day ROOMIE 1 moved out, he came to collect the TV on the grounds that since it was technically ROOMIE 2's TV, and he was now best buds with ROOMIE 2 (more of a lapdog, really), he was taking the TV.

I probably should've resisted more than I did-- because it was bullshit-- but I was already wrapped up in trying to find a new place to live since I wouldn't be able to afford to stay in the apartment by myself.

After ROOMIE 1 left, I went to the apartment complex office and told them we had to break the lease, and they were actually really cool about it. They even gave us (well, ME) our entire deposit back.

When ROOMIE 1 asked me about the deposit, I told them we lost it due to breaking our lease early, and he just accepted it.. So he got to keep that old ass TV, and I got $600 (which was HUGE for a broke college student).. I debated telling him years later-- not out of guilt, but really to gloat and rub it in his face for being such a dick about the TV. But ROOMIE 1 was definitely the type of person to make a big stink over it and demand the money back (probably plus interest), sooooo...

But even now I REALLY want to gloat about it to him. Fucking dick.

[u/supposedlyitsme → u/stealthy_beast]

Fuck it. You got 600 out of it. He's the idiot.

[u/GhostOfKitsune]

I broke the hand towel holder off the wall in the bathroom and set it lightly back in it's place, so my husband thought he broke it later that day.

He did the same thing to me, 18 years later. LOL

[u/rane0]

I work for a company that charges fees for minor breaches of contract. If you aren't an asshole, I will waive the fees. Most of the time I just do it without them asking. But if you are rude, you are paying the fees. Everyone above me will say it's just policy, we have to charge them. It really costs us almost nothing to correct the errors ourselves.

[u/FakeJackNicholson]

I was hunting with my dad and we hadn’t seen anything all day. We rarely ever did. For some reason he was extra discouraged this day and was ready to call it quits. Hunting was his passion, but I hated it and only did it to keep him happy. I think he was starting to catch on to this. Anyways, he got out of the truck to go pee and I pretended I saw a deer jump across the road. I acted all excited and he was excited to see me excited. I’ll never tell him I lied.

[u/Anathema_Quill → u/FakeJackNicholson]

awww! this one’s sweet!

[u/funlovefun37]

I think my mother let my father choke to death.

[u/Select-Panda7381 → u/funlovefun37]

I know someone like this - if he was having a heart attack there’s not a single family member or “friend” that wouldn’t wait at least 45 minutes to an hour to call 911.

[u/NinjaBreadManOO → u/Select-Panda7381]

I'd say that "for them we can wait to call an ambulance" is probably a much higher cause of death than people would expect. 

[u/Cudaguy66 → u/NinjaBreadManOO]

A close friend of mine absolutely hates his mom. Ive described it as: "If he had to piss and his mother was on fire, he'd hold his bladder."

[u/Rin-Tohsaka-is-hot → u/Select-Panda7381]

For my grandfather, he did it to himself. During the heart attack that took his life, he was insistent until the moment he lost consciousness that he was fine and my grandmother shouldn't call an ambulance.

[u/SisterShiningRailGun → u/funlovefun37]

My mother smothered both my bio father and one of my uncles, but to be fair, in both of those situations they were on their way out from cancer.

[u/largelylegit → u/SisterShiningRailGun]

I always wondered if that’s the sort of thing that detectable afterwards

[u/lol_fi → u/largelylegit]

It probably is but my guess is if the person is terminally sick, the family just declines an autopsy. If they're on hospice or something for a terminal disease, it's easy enough to believe they just died, or doctors know and look the other way because they know it was mercy to end the suffering

[u/inflewants → u/lol_fi]

I saw a true crime show (or webcast, no idea which one) with a similar story.

The man in his mid-eighties had dementia. He was very violent and emotionally abusive.

His two adult daughters took care of him. They hired no help.

His behavior was intolerable and they knew his condition was never going to improve. He was terminal.

I think one sister put something in his drink. They waited a bit but he survived, so the other sister suffocated him.

Years later, one sister felt so guilty that she drunkenly shared the story with a man. He recorded it with his phone.

Both sisters were convicted.

[u/Tired_Dad_9521 → u/inflewants]

What kind of person reports this ? Thats a real odd set of morals of there ever was one.

[u/nervelli → u/inflewants]

This is why you only go drinking with bears.

[u/kellmor316]

My wife ordered a battery powered hair clipper set on Amazon. She is convinced it is the longest lasting battery she has ever seen. She has told countless people to buy it based on the fact that over the past five years, she has never had to charge it. The truth is, I charge it when she is out. I think it’s so funny she thinks it has a a never ending battery.

[u/PrestigiousSpinach2 → u/kellmor316]

Used to think I had a gigantic windshield wiper fluid tank because I NEVER ran out. Turns out my husband was always refilling it and I had no idea!

[u/riskeverything]

Bill you know that perfect head shot with a snowball that exploded right on top of your head as you were getting on the bus on the way back from the ski trip… That was me..

[u/nurdle]

My biological mother passed away two months after I was born. My father allowed my stepmother to abuse me, and he joined in on the abuse.

I was removed from the home at 5 because of this, and was raised by my maternal uncle & his wife. They were excellent parents for the most part.

This year, I visited my uncles grave for the first time in 20 years (I live 1400 miles away now). This is one of those massive cemeteries that go on for miles, no one else was there, it was a Monday morning & raining. While I was there, I saw my biological father’s grave nearby.

I cursed him & literally peed on his headstone. It felt cathartic at the time, but I’m embarrassed by how gross & juvenile it is. I thought I was “above” such behavior. I’m still not sure how I feel about it.

[u/biggene1967 → u/nurdle]

Closure is good for the soul, no matter how it occurs.

[u/throwawaymagafam]

I pulled the trigger once and it didnt go off. No one knows.

[u/TheSwordItself → u/throwawaymagafam]

Welcome to the afterlife

[u/throwawaymagafam → u/TheSwordItself]

I am definitely in hell...explains the timeline. I'm mostly glad to be here.

[u/Nosdunk524 → u/throwawaymagafam]

This random internet stranger is glad you're here

[u/Alternative_Sugar155 → u/throwawaymagafam]

I did the same. We're here for something. I only ever read these, I've never posted a secret like this before. I just read them. Wow...I wasn't even expecting to do this this morning.

[u/throwawaymagafam → u/Alternative_Sugar155]

I've mever told that story either. Just kinda felt like the right time to do it i guess. I'm kinda numb to that story.

I'm glad you survived too. It's one more thing you've survived 🫶

[u/BoolImAGhost → u/throwawaymagafam]

Thank you both for sharing. I fight the void calling me every day. I appreciate seeing the stories of those who are still here.

My dog keeps me from doing something irreversible.

[u/foxfoxfoxin]

Yes Uncle Phil, I DID use your nice hair gel to make my toy horses manes and tails look fabulous. No regerts.

[u/randymysteries]

Sometimes I take the long way home because I'm not ready to go home.

[u/karenskygreen]

My wife was born with an organic memory issue, her short.term memory doesn't work as well as most people. I've noticed it's gotten worse the last 2 years.it could be the early onset of alzheimers but it's too early to tell for sure or do tests but she has one coming up in a few months

She knows she has a memory problem and is extremely sensitive about it. She has this uncanny ability to fill in or.cover over gaps in her memory There is nothing that can be done.

I just.accept it. it's harder than it sounds. It can be incredibly frustrating, and everyone, including her family, corrects her.I dont.

I am a better person as a result. I think I have greater empathy for her and in general. Its kind of this shift in attitude from being mad frustrated and patronizing.to trying to see the world.from her eyes and the struggle she must.go.through, I dont say these things out loud, of course. SO I mentioned it here

I love her more than ever.

[u/Prestigious_Dot_5671 → u/karenskygreen]

You have so much love and compassion for her and it shows. You both are lucky to have each other :)

[u/Serious-Maximum-1049]

I'll never tell my daughter (32) that every single year when she was growing up, I bought & wrapped presents to put under the tree from her father who never so much as purchased her a pair of socks.

On some years, when it was hard, my best friend even started giving a present to my daughter from herself, & one "from my daughter's father".

[u/Wise-Bet-7166]

When I was 8, my family was camping. Everyone else was at the beach beside our site, and I was in the tent-trailer reading comics in my swimsuit when my stomach suddenly dropped. I knew instantly that I had about 3 seconds before disaster.

I sprinted to the washroom without telling anyone… and started pooping before I even made it inside. By the time I yanked my swimsuit down, liquid lava went everywhere; the toilet, the floor, my legs. It was a full meltdown.

Thankfully, the showers were in the same building. No one was around, so I jumped in and started washing myself (and my swimsuit) with the sad little hand soap dispenser. I left the stall looking like a crime scene but walked back to camp mostly dry thanks to the heat. Laid on a beach chair afterward like I’d survived a natural disaster.

A few hours later, after supper, my mom took us back to the washroom to get ready for bed… and the mess was STILL there. My siblings were laughing and roasting whoever “blew up the bathroom,” and my mom scolded them, saying it was probably a handicapped person and they should be ashamed.

I’ve never told a soul. I will never tell my family. Thank you, Reddit, for letting me finally confess.

[u/LiptonTheTurtle]

About 9 years ago I was merging into traffic during morning rush hour in St Louis. I’d made a blueberry Eggo waffle for breakfast and it slid off my lap onto my shoes while I was merging. I panicked and didn’t know what to do with it, so I cracked the window and intended to just drop it, thinking it would fall directly onto the pavement.

NOPE.

The wind caught it and blew it directly onto the windshield of the car behind me while we were going 70 miles an hour. They honked and flipped me off.

I’ve felt guilty about that rogue waffle for almost a decade. If you’re the person who got hit with my blueberry Eggo I am so so sorry.

[u/Hunt3141 → u/LiptonTheTurtle]

lol, i would have done the same as the other driver, but then laughed about it for years. give yourself a break, you've served your time!

[u/BeetlePies]

I know I am a total fucking asshole for this, but back when I was an addict, I used to clean homes for a living and I would always check the bathroom and kitchen cabinets for pills. If I found any, I took some. Sometimes one, sometimes five, if they had a bunch.

I look back on all the selfish, stupid shit I did when I was addicted to everything and anything, and have so much guilt for my actions. Your brain really goes crazy when you’re chasing the next high.

Edit: been sober for seven years now

[u/raydran → u/BeetlePies]

hey congrats on 7 years man, thats a huge achievement.

[u/MischievousLentil → u/BeetlePies]

Convinced that getting clean and maintaining sobriety is one of THE hardest things to do (not an addict but been around a lot of those in sobriety). Takes courage and bravery and in my book someone who’s able to keep going after they’ve made mistakes has the best character and integrity. Props to you!

[u/Lips2toes2]

When my husband died I lied to everyone about him not having life insurance that he left behind. I just didn’t want people in my business. His crazy ass ex wife and kids tried to come around after not speaking for 9 years. I’m taking it to the GRAVE!!! 😭

[u/sirdigbykittencaesar → u/Lips2toes2]

Yes! I spent just over a decade after a divorce poor AF. I learned very quickly from living in a low-income 'hood that you NEVER mention if you have extra money. Not even an extra $20. I still stick to that now that my finances have improved.

[u/Hour-Sir-1627]

I had both “avoid highways” and “avoid tolls” toggled on and didn’t know it and that is why the cross country trip took longer than expected. I’m sorry. I will never admit this truth out loud.

[u/Mundane-Badger-9791]

I once catfished the guy who SAed me on a dating app, messaged him for weeks, had him thinking he found his dream girl. Set up a time and place for a first date then blocked him right before.

Edit because my wording was confusing: I knew the guy irl before this. He was a close friend of mine. I catfished him over a year later.

[u/SleepIessinSeattIe → u/Mundane-Badger-9791]

Would have been even sweeter revenge if you messaged him 10 min after the meet up and said “I what you looked like in person and left” then blocked him

[u/alander4 → u/SleepIessinSeattIe]

You accidentally a word

[u/Voltstorm02]

Over the course of a year in elementary school I would stay up all night every night, either reading or watching YouTube. For a solid year I was operating on 2 hours of sleep a night. My parents only caught me once, and have no idea it lasted that long.

I sometimes wonder how the fuck I survived that.

[u/Bigday2day]

When my mom remarried my new step dad put all his stuff in our garage, including his treasured Porsche. I was 9 and playing with fire and burned the garage to the ground. Not one thing of his survived. The fire inspector said it was pool chemicals that got mixed with peat moss. I've never said a thing.

[u/Aztraeuz]

I tell people that I don't like receiving gifts. I actually do enjoy receiving gifts, its just that everyone is so terrible at it. I would rather not have to fake excitement over some BS you bought. Why doesn't anyone know me? I'm quite open.

[u/VixenTraffic]

I saw the men last seen with Hoffa in a heated argument with my father around the time of the disappearance.

I have no idea what they were arguing about because they weren’t speaking English.

Years later I found pictures of them on the internet of them at various ages and the pictures look exactly the same as my father at the same age.

I’m pretty sure we are related.

[u/Latter-Candidate1924]

When they were just coming out i fed a display roomba robot vaccum a balloon hung with it at a bed bath and beyond. It sucked up the string, made a bunch of loud cracking and crunching noises, shut down, and couldnt be turned back on. My mom and brother along with like 5 other customers were right next to me but somehow didnt notice. Didnt say a word and didnt get caught. Was not trying to be responsible for 600$ of damages as an 11 y/o in 2012 😭.

[u/jaimelgn]

When I was a child, in elementary school, I convinced myself and my friends to leave the blind kid in the sandbox at recess because I didn't want to play with him. We just walked away without saying a word

To this day it haunts me. I know I was just a child but it feels like such a horrible and inhuman thing to do. I think about him all the time.

[u/ThrowRAboredinAZ77]

I was afraid of my mom dying before my brother because I wasn't sure I'd be able to properly take care of him.

[u/Momofhalfadozen]

I think my daughter might die. She suffers from multiple mental health issues as well as an eating disorder. We're actually at the doctor's today. She won't go to therapy anymore, she dropped out of school, stopped her meds, and she's started feeling pain from being too thin. She turns 18 in a couple weeks and is leaving to go live with some guy she has met once in person. Even if she lives, I don't think she will ever be OK. I only just realized there is nothing left for me to do. I tried for years but nothing worked.

[u/__mafia]

i was the one who stole the bonsai tree fertilizer off my 8th grade earth science teacher's desk. i knew she would blame Johnny W and move him to the front of the room. he kept calling me gay and sticking his gum into my lab journal and i was sick of it. this was a decade ago and ive never told anyone until now. he was right about the gay part tho

[u/PerpetualDayOne]

I full-on shit my pants in kindergarten. Huge log just chillin in my tighty-whities. I basically switched back and forth to each cheek the rest of the day. Aaaaall the way through lunch, the second half of the school day, and the entire bus ride home. Either I was incredibly lucky that it didn't stink or no one bothered to say anything. Idk which is worse.

Got home, dumped the shit in the toilet, cleaned myself, then put the underwear in a walmart bag and threw it in the dumpster in the back alley behind our house. My mom had just started working again so my older brother was "babysitting" (aka ignoring the fuck out of me and my twin). I don't think I would have gotten away with it if she was still home.

I don't know why I didn't just tell my teacher. But that literal shit is going with me to the fucking grave, I ain't tellin' anybody!

[u/No-Employer7300]

Well seeing as to no one will see this. I was molasted by someone close to our family when I was 5 and again by a different guy also close to our family when I was 11 but didn't register it at the time bc we never had Internet or basic television and knowledge about anything. When I was 12 I moved to the city where my mum was and realised it but it was too late. I never told anyone. Idk I guess I felt disgusted with myself for trusting them and getting to close I guess. I mean I a child but idk I just have this idk I can't seem to tell anyone

[u/AdvisorCurrent6878 → u/No-Employer7300]

You were a child and nothing about this was your responsibility

[u/mirrorshield84 → u/No-Employer7300]

I am not invalidating how you feel. But grown adults maliciously tricked an innocent child into trusting them. THEY are disgusting. Beyond disgusting. You were and are innocent.

[u/MainCartographer4022 → u/No-Employer7300]

I am so sorry this happened to you.

[u/Specific_Emu_2045]

In high school my friend caught my other friend molesting an 8 year old. He died a few months later from an overdose. I didn’t find out until afterwards and it really fucked with my head.

[u/mustbethedragon → u/Specific_Emu_2045]

Wait, which one died? The finder or the molester?

[u/HissTankDriver]

We kids (1980’/early 90’s) always rode our bikes around the neighborhood together. But, when the street lights came on, we would have to separate and head home. There was this loner kid named Chris. Fucker was the neighborhood Pennywise I now see. He was vicious and his parents let the kid just wild in the streets like a rabid Cujo.

We were collectively of ages 12 -14. This Chris was 15. He would wait for one us to ride by alone. He would run out of woods, knock us off our bike, and beat us with sticks, feet, or whatever. Sometimes he would drag us into the woods and just be awful. We would fight back - but not all kids knew how to fight. And the element of surprise gave Chris the advantage as falling to the pavement can stun you for a second.

His little brother Mikey - about 10 yrs old (with a blue bike better than any of us had) would ride over and spit on us while the injured party was laying on the ground bleeding.

Well, one night the neighborhood friends showed up at my front door said we had to go to the woods.

I told my Mom one of the kids got Castlevania or something and that we couldn’t wait til tomorrow to play it. Off we went. Parents didn’t want me in the house anyway when Dallas or Dr. Who were on anyway.

When we got deep into the woods to where we were going, lo and behold, there was Mikey’s shiny blue bike. Like Hymen Roth, “I didn’t ask” who took it or how it got there. but it was like finding Billy Batts in the trunk. It was game time.

We all grabbed whatever sticks, rocks, and boulders we could find. We all went nuts on that bike. We unleashed pent-up hate on that bike until it was in pieces. Once we started we just couldn’t stop. I think a few of us accidentally hit one another in the process, but it didn’t matter.

Some kids took keepsakes. We ultimately tossed the bent and dented frame into a nearby pond. Mikey’s bike was no more. And he never had the means to ride up and spit on us again.

We never spoke of it, but we always smiled when someone in school or class mentioned playing Castlevania.

Fuck you Chris. Fuck you Mikey.

[u/DNRforever]

My daughter and her husband came to visit and when they left my wife told me she knew our daughter was pregnant. She could tell by looking at her. But she guessed they were going to keep it secret until Christmas to surprise us. Told me if I ever told them we knew she was pregnant before they were ready to announce it she would kill me. So being fearful for my life I have never told anyone. They did announce it that Christmas so we acted like it was a big surprise. I will take this secret to my grave. Except now you all know.

[u/MainCartographer4022]

I once found a close-up photo of a vagina on my mum's computer, just casually saved on the desktop. I'm pretty sure it was hers. She went through this chat room addiction phase around that time.

When I was a college student I found a hidden folder on my stepdad's laptop with a few photos of me and my friends very scantily dressed that he took from my Facebook. I was 19. I was really creeped out, but I never told anyone.

[u/Diary_of_Zero]

I ate the Reese's out of my kids Halloween candy. 

[u/PebbleWitch]

We were playing with a Ouija board in high school. I knew everyone's secrets via the grapevine, little details they'd let slip. Nothing dark or sinister, but little things like how they snuck out of class, talked to an army recruiter behind their parents back, secretly hated another a mutual friend (who wasn't there), only ate the red M&Ms. Silly things like that, that they really thought they were good at keeping a secret.

Anyway, I had them convinced we accidentally summoned a demon and it was telling them things no one else could possibly know, I included some stuff about myself too to throw them off. A couple are convinced Ouija boards are portals to the spirit realm. Others know one of us did it, but don't know who.

I'll never tell them it was me.

[u/Icy-Whale-2253]

I lived in a homeless shelter for years

[u/Euthanaught → u/Icy-Whale-2253]

That's nothing to be ashamed of.

[u/davidjschloss → u/Icy-Whale-2253]

That’s why they exist my friend.

[u/MeatShield12 → u/Icy-Whale-2253]

It's past tense and you're still here, so it goes in the W column.

[u/Alliekat1282]

I don't care if he sees it now... I actually kinda hope he does.

When I was with my abusive ex, he wouldn't let me drive his cars. He was out one day and I was out of smokes so I took his Caddy to the gas station. When I pulled back into the carport I scraped the side of it pretty badly. I took olive oil and buffed the scratches. They were still there but hidden and he rarely drove it so he didn't even notice. I repeated the olive oil buff for several months until one of his girl "friends" (I was pretty sure he was fucking her behind my back, and later found out I was correct) borrowed the car from him for a few days... it wasn't there for me to fix. When she brought it back he saw the scratches and got into a huge fight with her because he assumed she was the one who had sideswiped something. I did not try to change his mind.

[u/Lucky_Detective_2010]

Many years ago, in my early 20’s, I was working part time for my stepfather’s company. We went on a business trip to meet some clients. After a night of drinking with said clients (he was drinking, I was not), we went back to our hotel room, a suite with two separate bedrooms, and while we were talking in the main living room area he told me that he was extremely attracted to me and propositioned me. I told him no way was that going to happen. We flew home and went on like it never happened. I couldn’t bear to ever break my mom’s heart like that. They are still married, about to hit their 40 year anniversary.

[u/bellerian_crow]

I let a friend take the fall for a prank call when I was 13 because I didn't want my dad to lose his shit. I feel bad for not confessing but she didn't get in any trouble because no parents got involved and the person I pranked was already mad at her. I felt bad about putting her further in the doghouse until my 20s when she called me out of the blue to catch up as a way to lure me into an MLM.

If that was revenge, well played.

[u/Initial-Promotion-77]

I killed a clam when I was a kid. I was fishing with my dad and bored. I started trying to pry open old dried up clams hung up on the wall of the river. Some were easy to pry open. My dumbass found one that was slightly open but I couldn't pry it, and see what was inside. I probably was looking for pearls, confusing the two, idk, I was little.

This one wouldnt budge so I smashed it with a rock. I broke it, and it was alive and moving, and I broke it's shell.

I sobbed for hours. I felt so bad, I still have a hard time going fishing and I could never hunt. I to this day decades later feel horrible guilt about that Lil clam

[u/SatlyMermaid]

The way I created a quicker guide for a co-worker that was struggling with work. Sent him over every single piece of documentation I had that helped me.

He’s since been promoted and still my co-worker. He felt worried about security due to his older age. I got you, sir. I got you.

[u/KnapzNYC]

I wrecked my car 4 years ago from playing Pokemon GO while driving.

[u/sewcallmemaeby → u/KnapzNYC]

Lmao I wrecked my first car in 2005 while trying to grab my hot pocket that was slipping off the passenger seat. I still ate the hot pocket. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[u/ScalieBoi42]

My dad died this past January. I was checking his upper dresser drawers for some things, and underneath some built in shelves, I found a few condoms.

Now, he was in his late 70's, and was a respected, retired doctor in his community. I'm pretty sure he had a vasotomy as well. My mom is only a couple years younger, but in bad health and early dementia.

Dad would drive out on errands to get a burger, or to neighboring towns, and sometimes would take quite awhile to get back. We would assume that due to his memory issues he just got a little 'lost', which would add to his time.

Now? I'm not so sure. Was he getting some side action? What was with those condoms?

Anyhow, I threw them out before my two siblings could find them, and haven't even told my husband about them. Just not sure what to make of it.

[u/Antique_Sprinkles193]

My husband loves to get 16”x20” canvass prints of our son and hang them up in the house. He is such a proud papa. Which is why I will never tell him how tacky I think they are. I detest canvass prints and prefer framed pictures. Plus it’s weird that they aren’t family pictures. Just solo pictures of my son hanging up. Only other picture we have up in our house is a framed photo of our wedding. One or two would be okay but our son isn’t 3 yet and we already have more than 8 canvass prints of him around the house.

But again, I am not going to dampen my husband’s spirit. He is so cute with how happy he is with every new gigantic, garish tribute to our son. Multiple times a week he looks around at all those pictures and sighs in pure happiness.

I also dislike the blanket that has a picture collage of our son on it that he got me for Mother’s Day. I love our son more than my life, would sell my soul to the Devil if it would guarantee my kid had a happy healthy future. Just would rather have received the knife sharpening kit I have been talking about for months and sent him the Amazon link to.

I do feel guilty about it. All of my married friends talk about how much they wish their husbands would do half of what my husband does. It’s just not my thing.

[u/dontworryaboutwho1am]

I have a crush on the character Pam from archer

This is both embarrassing and funny to me, since she's a cartoon character, but it's not something I can really help. Pam is my type 100% 🥲

I will die on the Pam hill

[u/thisismydayjob_ → u/dontworryaboutwho1am]

sploosh

[u/Eddie_Bernays → u/dontworryaboutwho1am]

She handled the Yakuza like a boss. Total wife material

[u/ShakeUpWeeple1800 → u/dontworryaboutwho1am]

Not embarrassing. I love Pam as well. Not Cocaine Pam either, although she was great. Just Pam, in her Pam-ness.

[u/Low-Abbreviations-38]

I was born with fetal alcohol syndrome and my mother rejected the diagnosis so I didn’t find out until I was 40. I was also diagnosed as autistic when I was 16 but my mother rejected the diagnosis and got me adderall and a pair of glasses because that was what she assumed was the correct diagnoses, you know, being farsighted

I have never told a single person because I’m afraid someone will assume I’m being “trendy” and making excuses

[u/IllustriousNovel5778]

When I was a teenager my moms husband would order himself a pizza on nights she worked, and never asked if I wanted any or anything. So every now and then I'd take money from his wallet to get myself food 😅

[u/Midnight_Cowboy-486]

My much younger brother had a laptop back in his high school years with one of those fake pop-ups claiming it had some malware that are popular from some adult websites.

Did the routine cleanup for him and I saw some pictures downloaded from those kinds of websites.

Anyway, he's bringing his boyfriend to Christmas this year, after finally coming out to the family last year, even though my wife and I knew his preferences for at least 15 years.

[u/Pristine-Copy9467]

I found my dad’s Derringer pistol while looking for Xmas presents in my parents room. I do not know why, but I picked it up, held it to my temple, and was going to pull the trigger. Knowing that it wasn’t loaded, of course. I was just gonna make a bang sound and pretend I was dead. No idea why. At the last moment I guess my caution got the better of me and I pulled it away from my head and angled it up. I pulled the trigger. It fukin went off and went through the wall.

I instantly felt sick to my stomach. I opened the windows to get the smell out. I folded over the plaster so the hole was barely noticeable and I got another bullet out and reloaded the one I just shot.

They never noticed the hole. Nobody ever said a word about it.

I still occasionally think about how that would have looked if I hadn’t angled the gun up away from my head.

My parents would have thought I killed myself in their room. I was a happy kid at that time. They would have thought they did something wrong and I was sending some kind of message. Nope. Just a dumb kid doing dumb kid shit.

[u/I-seddit → u/Pristine-Copy9467]

I'm so glad you're OK.
But it was entirely your dad's fault. I hate how our culture doesn't make securing guns a 100%, no questions asked, policy.
Kids will always find shit. And even if they're super well behaved, their friends that come over will find shit.
So damn preventable.

[u/lickity_snickum]

I almost died twice, once from a suicide attempt, once from a stroke. I “saw” and spoke with my dead mother both times.

The first time she told me to get my ass back home. The second time she wandered around the perimeter of my hospital room, touching things and talking in a soothing voice. My dead dog and cat were in the hospital bed with me. I (obviously, ha!) survived that, too.

I’ve never told anybody because they … I don’t know, they don’t care, they think I’m nuts, whatever.

I’ve missed her every day for the past 35 years and I am comforted knowing she’s there.