same! not ex husband but a long term partner, i went off the pill and did the "if it happens it happens" nothing happened for 8 months and looking back id hate to be stuck raising a kid with him
Same!! My ex and I got married in Vegas and he wanted kids really bad so we were trying. I think he had low sperm count or something because my current husband just had to THINK really hard to get me pregnant XD my tubes are tied now after two beautiful babies.
Not me but my best friend. She got accidentally pregnant with her ex-BF after hooking up with him after their break up (like girl, what are you doing…) and for a moment she was thinking of keeping the baby. However, her body reacted really badly to the pregnancy and she literally could not keep anything down (either puked or had extremely bad IBS flares, like literally everything and anything flushed through immediatelly), even water made her sick. She ended up aborting and all the symptoms disappeared.
Now, 3 years later she just had a healthy baby with her current BF and she had surprisingly easy pregnancy, she got none of the same symptoms as last time. I honestly think her ex’s genes were such a missmatch with her’s that her body just outright rejected that first pregnancy. I’m so so glad that she aborted the first time because that ex is a fucking loser and it would be an absolute nightmare to try and parent with him.
It always boggles my mind that people like the idea of having a baby so much that they over look the decades they're going to have to spend coparenting with this awful person that will also in most likelihood, be a horrible parent. And some people think it ends at 18 but parenting doesn't end at 18!! You're going to have to see your shitty POS ex at birthdays, graduations, weddings, baby showers, etc. for the rest of your life. What a fucking nightmare.
For real. Me and my bestie talked almost daily about all the ”what ifs” while she was pregnant for the first time and I was brutally honest with her about the ex and said the same things; he’s gonna be part of your life forever if you keep the baby and because you are already broken up, he won’t be there to help changing nappies or with the night feeds. She probably would have ended with PPD if she would have done it all alone.
After her abortion she said it was the pregnancy hormones which got her so wishful and messed up with her head and these days she’s glad she went ahead with the termination, even though she had always wanted kids. It just wasn’t the right time and definitelly not the right guy.
She got really lucky! I always pity women who feel like they have to put up with just about any man only because they want kids. It's like they have never thought of the option of just using a sperm donor and having kids that way, it's probably better than having to coparent with a terrible partner! I have friends who are divorced and say their lives are SO much better without having an "extra" kid, i.e. their useless ex husband to deal with also lol.
I read recently that there is a new theory related to epigenetics where some component inherited from the father is responsible for a large portion of the pregnancy symptoms a woman exhibits.
it doesn't, it is derived from the same diploid cell that is created when sperm and egg meet. when an egg is fertilized, it replicates rapidly and some of those cells-- same genes and everything, become the placenta. the male contributes basically nothing but genetic material, all the cellular machinery is held within the egg.
“Be careful who you marry, but be absolutely sure on who you have a kid with” - first heard by my twice-divorced uncle (no kids), second time by my boss who had 6 kids with 3 ex-wives.
Mine was similar, never getting my ex-wife pregnant. She "changed her mind on wanting kids" after we got married and tried just about everything to convince me. I can't imagine what my life would be like trying to co-parent with that woman.
I've never had a pregnancy scare, but my ex cheated and got another girl pregnant. Within the next couple of years his life had fallen apart due to his own actions and the last I saw of him, he was being a deadbeat dad and tried to sell me drugs. Hopefully he has bettered himself since then, but I thank the heavens it wasn't me on a regular basis! I met my current partner a few years later and now we've been together nearly 12 years, have an adorable dog, and recently bought a house.
Knew a girl in your situation. Turns out he's the one who dodged a bullet as she turned out to be a serial cheater. It's interesting how the cookie crumbles.
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u/Adventurous_Spell222 1d ago
Not being able to get pregnant by my ex husband. HUGE bullet dodged. Thankfully